An introverts guide to increasing energy • Hacker News Board

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#41

Post by penjelly » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:12 PM UTC

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

not sure if this is backed up by scientific data or not but this is an interesting perspective ive never considered.

Anecdotally: I notice as my confidence grows I enjoy social gatherings more and am less tired afterwards, whereas 5 years ago almost every social event would be tiring, now some are actually energizing.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#42

Post by tartoran » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:14 PM UTC

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

I actually find large groups distracting and disorienting to the point that I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place. Also, trying to keep the mask on is also a bit exhausting so the moment I tell everyone that Im introverted and no longer have to pretend Im not things start to improve a bit.

Having said that, I think you have a point with the threat perception part. I do enjoy social contexts where I feel like I fit in and can be myself. The problem seems to be more with social contexts I am obligated to participate in, where I have to put on a mask of interest; probably the threat is to be found that you’re really not interested into that interaction.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#43

Post by hliyan » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:15 PM UTC

penjelly wrote: post #41

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

not sure if this is backed up by scientific data or not but this is an interesting perspective ive never considered. Anecdotally: I notice as my confidence grows I enjoy social gatherings more and am less tired afterwards, whereas 5 years ago almost every social event would be tiring, now some are actually energizing.

I've noticed the same. I think self-confidence grows with age and we become more and more comfortable in our own skin. But then at some point (perhaps in our fifties) we pass a threshold and enter the witty curmudgeon territory.

Edit: on the science bit. Yes, this is merely what I tell myself. But if we were to test this, perhaps we can do so by monitoring the glucose consumption of brains of introverts in different types of social situations?

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#44

Post by hliyan » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:17 PM UTC

mikevm wrote: post #40

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

It's also possible that you might have social anxiety, btw. Regarding introversion and "energy" - https://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-d...

Would you say introversion and social anxiety are two distinct phenomena? I always viewed these as existing on the same spectrum.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#45

Post by natrys » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:18 PM UTC

togaen wrote: post #18

I thought I was an introvert for a long time. Turned out I was actually a misanthrope. Weird.

I don't think introversion/extroversion is a useful categorisation. Because I think it boil down just to what type of people or social situation one likes/dislikes. Introverts are uncomfortable with wider spectrum of people/situations, but they still do just fine/normally amongst people they like.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#46

Post by amelius » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:18 PM UTC

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

Yes, I sometimes wonder if I have "social impostor syndrome", and if this is what causes all the energy drainage.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#47

Post by amelius » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:21 PM UTC

tartoran wrote: post #42

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

I actually find large groups distracting and disorienting to the point that I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place. Also, trying to keep the mask on is also a bit exhausting so the moment I tell everyone that Im introverted and no longer have to pretend Im not things start to improve a bit. Having said that, I think you have a point with the threat percep…

> I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place

Yes. The more you shy away from big gatherings, the harder it becomes to decode audio signals in noisy environments. It also doesn't help if you're much smaller or taller than other people.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#48

Post by hliyan » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:23 PM UTC

tartoran wrote: post #42

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

I actually find large groups distracting and disorienting to the point that I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place. Also, trying to keep the mask on is also a bit exhausting so the moment I tell everyone that Im introverted and no longer have to pretend Im not things start to improve a bit. Having said that, I think you have a point with the threat percep…

This gives me an idea. Next time I'm going to see how much drainage I experience when I'm socializing with people I don't mind offending!

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#49

Post by psyc » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:23 PM UTC

hliyan wrote: post #44

mikevm wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also possible that you might have social anxiety, btw. Regarding introversion and "energy" - https://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-d...

Would you say introversion and social anxiety are two distinct phenomena? I always viewed these as existing on the same spectrum.

I thought the consensus was that they're distinct. In my case, I never experience any social anxiety (aside from public speaking) but I consider myself extremely introverted. I strongly prefer to be by myself doing solo activities, and never feel the need to see other people. But when I do encounter others, it's a perfectly comfortable experience and I can be as friendly and charming as anybody.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#50

Post by lolinder » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 3:26 PM UTC

toolz wrote: post #21

jasode wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this [...] is not helpful [...] and does change from situation to situation. I like to label myself as "introverted" because it matches my stable trait regardless of changing activities. Similar to labeling myself as "right-handed" because it's an underlying stable trait even though I press Ctrl+C on the keyboard…

If you're renting golf clubs, knowing you're right handed is useful. I struggle to find the equivalent use for introvert/extrovert label. Maybe you have a good example?

For me, it's very similar to your golf clubs example: knowing that I'm right handed allows me to make an informed decision about what clubs to purchase. Knowing that I'm introverted allows me to make an informed decision about how to plan my free time.