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Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

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Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#41

Post by euccastro »

euccastro wrote: post #14

Your wife or your cofounders' wives? I only ask because you phrase it in plural.

Whoever downmodded, care to explain? I'm not smartassing or critiquing the writing; I was really doubtful about what the poster meant.

If I wanted to ask what everyone is replying, I'd say "any advice on convincing your wife to let you become an entrepreneur?" All that indirection about 'wives' and 'husbands' makes it look like someone is worried that the wive(s) of their prospect cofounder(s) will prevent them from taking the leap.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#42

Post by davidw »

pg wrote: post #22

I think the prospect of financial security for their (possibly future) kids is the biggest selling point.

I respectfully disagree. Consider that:

- People are risk averse.

- Most hackers make pretty good money at 'real jobs'.

- Startups are definitely a risky proposition. As someone else commented, "A startup founder with a successful startup is already a rare exception.".

- So when you're in the thick of it, and there isn't a lot of money, and you don't know if it's going to go anywhere, that reality is going to wipe out any talk of "we might be rich", compared with the alternative of "making pretty good money and living comfortably".

The "this is what makes me happy, how can we both make it work" is the approach that has best worked for me. My wife likes coming home and finding that I'm so much happier than when I was working for a moron, even if there's no money in it (yet).

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#44

Post by gyro_robo »

gyro_robo wrote: post #36
byrneseyeview wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, in a marriage it implies parity: each party gets a veto on decisions that will affect them both.

Nobody should ever get a veto over your dreams and aspirations.

Wow, I didn't think anyone on here would downmod that sentiment.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#45

Post by bootload »

pg wrote: post #22

I think the prospect of financial security for their (possibly future) kids is the biggest selling point.

'... prospect of financial security ...'

I know it's a chicken & the egg problem, but demonstration of actual 'entrepreneurship' is my suggestion. The best way would be to get a demo or product working ASAP and get users, fast. You have a better chance of arguing a case with something more concrete than a prospect.

If this has to be done while you work in another job, the 'Schachter' model (work, expend little & build a product before a company) could be the go.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#46

Post by pg »

davidw wrote: post #42
pg wrote: post #22

I think the prospect of financial security for their (possibly future) kids is the biggest selling point.

I respectfully disagree. Consider that: - People are risk averse. - Most hackers make pretty good money at 'real jobs'. - Startups are definitely a risky proposition. As someone else commented, "A startup founder with a successful startup is already a rare exception.". - So when you're in the thick of it, and there isn't a lot of money, and you don't know if it's going to go anywhere, that reality is going to wipe ou…

I'm not saying that the prospect of getting rich is enough to convince wives, just that of all the attractions of a startup-- being one's own boss, working on interesting technical problems, not having to commute to a cube farm, and the possibility of getting rich-- the one that appeals most to wives is the possibility of getting rich. Which is natural because of all the preceding, that's the one that affects them most.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#47

Post by asdf333 »

So my experience from doing a startup. It depends on the wife/girl. - If they are confident and not risk adverse its OK. My gf practically told me to go get a life and challenge yourself or i'm going to dump you b/c you are clearly doing nothing in your current corporate job. She is still a student though, and there are no family considerations. - other significant others in the team required more convincing, but most saw how 'serious' their loved one was about it and initially opposed it but eventually said ok.

this is really different from a kid/house situation though. i think there is a different level of responsibility if you have others depending on you for financial security. I think then its really a decision between you and your wife that you sit down and discuss. In geneneral though, you want to sell the story and back it up w/ action.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#48

Post by webwright »

pg wrote: post #22

I think the prospect of financial security for their (possibly future) kids is the biggest selling point.

Bwahahahahaah!

Financial security as a selling point? What percentage of founders do you think achieve financial security as a result of a startup? 80% of small biz's fail in the first 5 years. A big percentage of the rest are "walking wounded" - doing well enough to pay the grocery bills, but certainly not secure.

Startups are high-risk / high-gain bets.

The best way to sell it is, "It's what I want to do. It's what would make me happy."

Presumably you have a relationship where that's important to both parties, right?

Setting an expiration date and a personal investment cap is good, too. i.e. "I want to try this for two years, and then let's re-evaluate. I'd like us to take on no more than $100k in debt, which is considerably less than a mortgage." And, dazzling her with visions of fabulous wealth can't hurt either. Bury her in articles about geeks who have built stoopid little web apps and made zillions of dollars.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#49

Post by Psyonic »

zach wrote: post #8

If you're asking this here, I'd say don't do it. Don't presume you have to go for it, especially right now. Keep in mind she may take on about as much of the risks and downside as you do without the personal satisfaction you get out of it. Colin Powell may not be President of the US right now simply because his wife is not up for it it. But even though he could push her into battle or steamroll her, he doesn't. Just…

Did Colin Powell ever even talk about intending to run for President? Not saying he didn't, just that I never heard about it.

Re: Any recommendations on convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs?

#50

Post by sbraford »

mynameishere wrote: post #20

Tell her: If I fail, we lose the house. If I succeed, I'll get rich and "trade up", if ya know what I mean.

Lol. Yeah, the poster must not have Tom Leykis on the air in his town. He'd do well to listen to a few episodes. Or just man up.
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