41–50 of 116 posts
I used to get anxious in my free time- like why spend my weekend washing my car when I could work and earn enough per hour to hire someone that could do it instead? but truth is I like doing the mundane tasks as it relaxes me and it's the simple things in life that makes it.
The gist: «And the crux of it is the word could have, the standards we hold ourselves to. This mix of guilt, insecurity and unrealistic standards is a major loss of productivity, and a major source of unhappiness.» Embrace imperfection, because perfection is unattainable anyway.
Ahh, the obsession with Productivity. Productivity is only required if it is required. This reminds me of Little Prince meeting The Inventor, who tells him that he invented pills that completely eliminate the need for drinking. The Inventor is happy about saving up to 20 minutes of a person's life with their product. The Prince just thinks to themselves - "weird, if I had an extra 20 minutes I would happily stroll to…
It takes a toll.
A few years ago, I made a new year's resolution to be more forgiving to myself. At the time, I would feel miserable at the end of the day for, say, not doing laundry even though I had resolved to do so. I would downright hate myself for not getting this simple task done despite having had the time. So, that year, whenever I would have such a thought, I'd tell myself that I forgive my past self. "It's ok!" And it has…
It strikes me as weird to address an issue of unrealistic standards by implementing a bunch of productivity systems (pomodoro, etc) and data collection schemes, since these systems are fallible, which feeds right back to the anxiety loop. I feel like it's appropriate to bring up meditation, and specifically self-awareness. There's something about seeing yourself as a third party that helps put things into a larger co…
It's good to have data. "I'm unproductive" vs "I choose to spend my time doing X". It's a lot easier to be more productive by "watching 15 minutes less of tv" when you know you watching 3 hours a night. Pomodoro isn't a productivity system. It's "I'm going to focus for ~15 minutes", and that's much easier to do than "spend 8 hours working".
Looking at the article, one example of data collection is "I know that I write at about 20-30 WPM" (the implication being that the author feels pressured to write at a minimum level of "efficiency"). Coupled w/ pomodoro, it essentially becomes a pressure to write X words in Y minutes, lest feelings of inadequacy hit later upon reflection. This to me feels borderline unhealthy: "what if I forgot to measure", "what if I under-deliver", etc are all possible psychological sinkholes.
What meditation promotes is asking yourself what exactly happiness means to you personally, and observing how expectations and accomplishments play a role towards your objectives. Sometimes yes you just need to recognize that you need to get off your ass and do the work, but sometimes it's a matter of prioritization, sometimes less is more.
A few years ago, I made a new year's resolution to be more forgiving to myself. At the time, I would feel miserable at the end of the day for, say, not doing laundry even though I had resolved to do so. I would downright hate myself for not getting this simple task done despite having had the time. So, that year, whenever I would have such a thought, I'd tell myself that I forgive my past self. "It's ok!" And it has…
But if you don’t mind me asking—what happens when you, well, don’t have the laundry done, and you realize you actually really need a clean shirt? (Or whatever.)
Sometimes you grew up in a family with a harsh & critical parent, or rewards for progress were minimal, so a spirit of "well done!" is absent. Or maybe you had a personal trauma and the striving is an attempt to avoid pain ever happening again. Or maybe your personal search for significance in life so strongly identifies with something that anything less than perfection in that area reflects badly on you. Or maybe you have shame in your past and you're trying hard to compensate.
Whatever it is, perfectionism is not "solved" with a blueprinted flowchart or life system but by digging deep into a wellspring of grace and worth. For those of us who are Christian, we believe in Jesus' work on the cross as our source of unlimited grace and forgiveness, believing that God has taken care of the perfection gap of our failures. For the rest of the world, well I don't have an answer for you except you may want to take a trip through Paul's letter to the Romans.
A few years ago, I made a new year's resolution to be more forgiving to myself. At the time, I would feel miserable at the end of the day for, say, not doing laundry even though I had resolved to do so. I would downright hate myself for not getting this simple task done despite having had the time. So, that year, whenever I would have such a thought, I'd tell myself that I forgive my past self. "It's ok!" And it has…
But if you don’t mind me asking—what happens when you, well, don’t have the laundry done, and you realize you actually really need a clean shirt? (Or whatever.)