Personal finance experts don’t get wealthy by following their own advice

Not just parents generation, our generation. I don’t play the stock market, I’m not skilled enough for it, but I do have a stocks/share ISA, but I’m also not against spending money to make it. Many people I know will happily continue to pay interest on an item, but have savings which is less than the interest on credit. They have a 20% credit card vs a 0.5% interest savings.

And little things like that can help in the long run.

This seems like a good place to be vulnerable and ask for advice.

I am 35 and still spend like in a teenager. I grew up really poor where if the money didn’t get spent right away it would just sort of disappear, into drugs or beer or whatever my mom and stepdad were spending it on. My only real asset is my house which has appreciate significantly in value, but all it would take is one job loss to get me behind on that. I take Adderall because it makes me an effective engineer and I’ve really struggled for multi year periods where I’ve tried to stop it, but my life gets measurably worse. I cashed out my $5,000 at one point and blew it on I don’t even know what, but it was something stupid I’m sure.

I guess the real enemy is future me. I don’t feel like I can consistently trust myself to make good financial decisions so the me of right now acts as if future me will just blow all my savings irresponsibly anyway. It’s depressing just writing it out.

I wish I could put money into an account that would then only disburse small amounts of it over the year, and I couldn’t override that.

I’m really ashamed of it but end up paying the mortgage with one biweekly paycheck, paying all my bills with the next biweekly paycheck, and despite making a very good salary for where I live, I’m living paycheck to paycheck.

I don’t really know how to develop impulse control, I spend hours and hours scrolling Amazon and websites trying to think of things to buy.

I know the answer is “just act like an adult” but I guess spending has become a coping mechanism because I’ve got a disabled kid, I don’t really know how to enjoy things that aren’t going to Costco or buying a new 3D printer or a shiny new computer.

Is there anyone here who has gone from being extremely irresponsible with money to having savings? How do I get over the trauma of my grandparents losing millions of dollars in the 2008 financial collapse, which happened right as I came of age? How do I stop “shopscrolling” Amazon until 2 in the morning?

I know it’s pathetic, and I feel like this is a place I might get an answer that’s actionable.

I think there's a distinction between out of control spending and someone with decent expenses. There definitely is no shortage of those with all the streaming services and a new iPhone every year, and less than $1000 in the bank, but I think that's not the portrait the article was trying to paint.

Additionally, the article does point out that you may need to reevaluate your career and/or create a side hustle.

A 401K is a box, not a specific investment. You can put things like VOO in the box. Anything in the box is tax advantaged however.

I agree with the thrust of the article. Most personal finance experts are...a bit weird (I have no idea why Tony Robins is an expert...he knows literally nothing, isn't he a motivational speaker...only in America could this be a job).

But there is a reason why spend less is the best advice for most people: they can't start a business, they have limited scope to increase their earnings significantly, and you can actually become relatively rich if you just spend less.

Personal financial advice really isn't about attempting to become rich, it is about stopping people doing things that make no sense. We aren't talking about becoming Jeff Bezos...that isn't the goal for most people, the aim is to help people retire with dignity. Telling everyone to start their own business is terribly unhelpful because it won't improve anything as most people will fail (this is why personal finance experts exist...because most people think in these unreasonable ways i.e. the only way I can become rich is by taking huge risks...rather than just not buying stupid shit I don't need, ppl reason in very weird ways).

To say this another way, most people do not understand the long-term value of a $1 saved today. Obviously, exactly how you calculate this is a little complicated but if people realised that $1 now was worth $4 or $6 or $8 in 30 years then they would consider what they do today more carefully (and even then, some people are just weird...they will say: I am going to die before then, or I don't care...then they will get to retirement and everything is fucked).

Btw, I used to work in this industry, I have seen people who didn't consider any of this. We had a client who worked all his life in a decent paying job but had little savings, took to drink, wife divorced him, lost his job in his late 60s, got drunk one day, fell down the stairs when he was on his own in his rented house (he lost his house a few months before), died. This all happened within a few months. It will happen. You will get old. You can't control everything in life but something that is relatively easy to control is your spending. I try not to give people specific advice but the number one thing that everyone can do is: control your spending, think about what you need, you can't avoid some expenses but the peace of mind later down the road from small changes is huge.

This kind of thing is unfashionable as hell though because it does put that pressure back onto the individual. Lots of young people today have this attitude of: everything is rigged, telling me to change anything when X person is so wealthy makes you an oppressor, etc. Unsurprisingly, this attitude tends to be linked with taking decisions that are unwise, and abrogating all responsibility for the consequences.