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Stepping Back from Speaking
41–50 of 138 posts
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#42Good for him. As someone who struggles with serious anxiety issues I decided not to do interviewing anymore as it just became too debilitating - days of worrying before the interview, the feeling of dread and doom. That point in the interview when the interviewer says "Ok, now I'm going to ask you a few technical questions..." my heart rate would skyrocket and I'd start sweating perfusely. It's just really difficult…
I mean this question is the most empathetic way possible, from a curiosity-based perspective, and feel free to tell me to shove off if you don't want to answer it. How do you gain employment in the event you decide you need to leave your current place of employment?
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Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#43The key to anxiety issues related to speaking is not to worry about making a mistake or a faux pas. I don't know but my whole life, anytime anybody asked me to do something in front of others it was never an issue. The odd thing was, the more impromptu the easier. That's because there is absolutely no expectations by the audience then at that point. Prepared stuff nobody cares if you come reading off of a paper, so long as you aren't staring at it but glance at it from time to time.
The ultimate way to do this though is go out and try new things. Feel vulnerable and interact with the world, and others, with a sort of whimsy. And have fun with it. Remember that the audience is being held hostage in the situation too!
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#44Thank you, Uncle Bob, for stating the obvious. As we enter an era where remote, distributed work is common, normalized, and, nay, even the default, we will quickly realize that human contact at work is unnecessary.
That teammate tapping you on the shoulder to ask you "a quick question"? An unnecessary distraction. A daily standup where you take turns passing a ball around and making up a 30-second summary of what you did yesterday? A stressful and useless waste of time.
Outside of companies heavy on the office politics, it should quickly become obvious that full-remote, full-async teams are far more effective, and sanity will finally prevail.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#45Thank you, Uncle Bob, for stating the obvious. As we enter an era where remote, distributed work is common, normalized, and, nay, even the default , we will quickly realize that human contact at work is unnecessary. That teammate tapping you on the shoulder to ask you "a quick question"? An unnecessary distraction. A daily standup where you take turns passing a ball around and making up a 30-second summary of what yo…
Martin Fowler is not "Uncle Bob". And "thank you for stating the obvious" is usually an insult in American English.
If you're wondering why you're getting downvoted, might be one of those.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#46Very good communicator. And one of the most 'balanced' speakers. I have seen a few people get so stuck in topics that they forget about the bigger contexts (for example, craftsmanship, microservices). He always looked pragmatic in his approach (for example, tech debt). Possibly because he is not only a consultant but works for a company that delivers things into production- and comes up with radar).
He can explain the overall concepts very well. You can then go into details. (Refactoring book, UML distilled, NoSQL distilled, etc. I even learned LMAX first from his bliki.)
Going by blogs on his site and his signature series books, I certainly look forward to things he will write/ contribute to.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#47> It’s not always been this way. When I was a kid at school I felt none of the fear of public speaking that others talked about. I enjoyed being on stage, and with my loud voice and plenty of confidence, I felt good about being there. That continued to be true once I entered the world of work, and my comfort on-stage did much to boost my career. But over time, this changed.
I am very curious about this dynamic, and why it changed.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#48Thank you, Uncle Bob, for stating the obvious. As we enter an era where remote, distributed work is common, normalized, and, nay, even the default , we will quickly realize that human contact at work is unnecessary. That teammate tapping you on the shoulder to ask you "a quick question"? An unnecessary distraction. A daily standup where you take turns passing a ball around and making up a 30-second summary of what yo…
Martin Fowler is not "Uncle Bob". And "thank you for stating the obvious" is usually an insult in American English. If you're wondering why you're getting downvoted, might be one of those.
Are you... complaining about downvoting on my behalf? How absurd.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#49I dropped out of my PhD because I could not stand the pressure of having to do talks regularly. Even though I was pretty decent at it (I was told my delivery was fine and clarity was superb), and sometimes felt good ("powerful" for lack of a better word) while on stage, I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. Then on…
Might be worth looking into a beta blocker if it's adversely affecting your life that much.
"Musicians, public speakers, actors, and professional dancers have been known to use beta-blockers to avoid performance anxiety, stage fright, and tremor during both auditions and public performances."
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#50Thank you, Uncle Bob, for stating the obvious. As we enter an era where remote, distributed work is common, normalized, and, nay, even the default , we will quickly realize that human contact at work is unnecessary. That teammate tapping you on the shoulder to ask you "a quick question"? An unnecessary distraction. A daily standup where you take turns passing a ball around and making up a 30-second summary of what yo…
I think it's incorrect to assume that your preferred working pattern (remote) is universally good for other people, even setting aside the legitimate concerns about interruptions, daily standups (something plenty of remote teams do), or office politics.
I don't like any of that latter group of things. I still work much better in on a team that I see every day and my productivity suffers immensely when working remotely and not talking to other people.
"This works for me, it should work for everyone." is an antipattern.