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I will never not talk about my depression

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Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#41

Post by gonehome »

silicon2401 wrote: post #28
gonehome wrote: post #3

I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I'm not dismissing the reality of it, but reinforcing it to yourself and others around you on a constant basis probably isn't helpful? Constantly ruminating on your depressed state probably isn't good either. Pretending everything is great probably isn't a good idea or likely even possible (or desirable?), but I'm not per…

I agree. I wonder why it's so different for depression vs. other illness/challenges. When we see someone without legs, we accommodate them however possible and try to treat them equally, but we also celebrate those who manage to be competitive wheelchair racers or accomplished at calisthenics. Yet for depression, we almost try to convince people that it's simply not possible to be functional and you shouldn't even tr…

If I had to guess - it's a mixture of the underlying mechanism still being very poorly understood which makes it very hard to treat. Likely a lot of people experiencing what we classify as depression are actually experiencing similar symptoms of highly variable underlying causes.

Also, for a long time mental health was handled atrociously by society so people are (reasonably) sensitive to that and there's maybe a little bit of an overcorrection on this culturally where people are now afraid to suggest that there's any agency here at all.

Hopefully as we get some real empirical understanding of how our minds work we'll be able to relieve a lot of suffering. As it stands, psychology feels like medicine prior to germ theory (at least to me) - we have some treatments that seem to help, but barely know why.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#42

Post by ketzo »

tlackemann wrote: post #29
obvthrowaway32 wrote: post #24

I used to have depression from early to mid adulthood that I could not shake off. Many times, it felt like it would never go away, almost like it was an integral part of me. When I was deep in my hole, I thought thoughts like "don't kid yourself, you're always depressed, this is how it is", and I certainly did not have any reason hoping I would some day suddenly not be depressed. But while it was not sudden at all, I…

Thank you for sharing. I am going through something very similar right now. Less than a half-year of therapy but it's helping.

It's the most trite platitude in the world, but from someone who was also there: the more you do it, the better it gets. Good luck, and keep at it.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#43

Post by anoncake »

mahathu wrote: post #37
wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

"Depression" is more the term our medical community has today to describe low mood, lack of energy, loss of interest et al. It's important to understand that there exists no weird illness that is causing these symptoms. Instead, the symptoms can have all sorts of roots, but depression is just what we call them.

It's similar to how before modern medicine, everything was a fever.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#44

Post by TheAdamAndChe »

overgard wrote: post #33

I've quit a job because I was going through bad depression before and I didn't think I could do a good job. I even asked for part time work, so I understand where she's coming from, but.. In my opinion, this attitude she's portraying is a dangerous attitude to have. This victimhood seems core to her identity. I'm not trying to shame the condition, I'm trying to say that the condition shouldn't become some core part o…

You see this a lot nowadays. A lot of social media sites are biased towards positivity and reaffirmation, but what happens is that people get lots of positive feedback for identities and mentalities that are counter productive to a good life.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#45

Post by Tarucho »

gonehome wrote: post #3

I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I'm not dismissing the reality of it, but reinforcing it to yourself and others around you on a constant basis probably isn't helpful? Constantly ruminating on your depressed state probably isn't good either. Pretending everything is great probably isn't a good idea or likely even possible (or desirable?), but I'm not per…

The problem is you don´t get to choose the content of your ruminations. When you are experiencing severe depression judgment is misguided and you don´t get to choose the contents of your mind the same way you don´t get to choose the contents of your mind in the middle of a maniac episode.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#46

Post by opheliate »

underseacables wrote: post #39

When I had depression I found it very therapeutic to talk about it, to put it out in the open, but I also ran into a lot of people who couldn’t stop talking about their depression. at some point talking about your depression is just as depressing to others as the depression itself

For me, when I'm capable of doing so, being around others in person is one of the best ways to cope with my depression. The pandemic has been massively destructive for my mental health because of this.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#47

Post by carapace »

wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

I suffered from bad depression in my youth. Couldn't get a haircut or buy new shoes, things like that. I think the worst moment came when I was so depressed I just stood there in my room. I couldn't even lie down. No way to explain that to a normal person.

One day my mom said, "I know you're not faking this because no one would deliberately be this miserable."

It was more comforting than you might imagine.

- - - -

(I debated adding this because I don't want to get drawn into an argument about my own personal history, but FWIW I was cured completely in a single session of hypnotherapy that lasted less than ten minutes. The therapist was Dr. Richard Bandler, co-inventor of Neurolinguistic Programming. (Yes, the NLP that is decried as "pseudoscience".))

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#48

Post by beforeolives »

> I talk about my mental health to anyone who will listen, and also try to those who won’t. I don’t launch into the story of my life and whole disease history but I need everyone to understand that depression is something that affects every aspect of my life.

I can't relate to this at all. Maybe it's a big difference in personality, culture or place in life, but the last thing I want to do is to openly share things that are very personal with people that I barely know.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#49

Post by vergessenmir »

overgard wrote: post #33

I've quit a job because I was going through bad depression before and I didn't think I could do a good job. I even asked for part time work, so I understand where she's coming from, but.. In my opinion, this attitude she's portraying is a dangerous attitude to have. This victimhood seems core to her identity. I'm not trying to shame the condition, I'm trying to say that the condition shouldn't become some core part o…

I agree wholeheartedly while being empathetic with what she's going through.

The identification is, as you say, dangerous. Most people have depressive episodes at least once in their lifetime, and it can leave just as suddenly as it comes.

It makes me wonder if this intense identification slows her recovery or even worse blinds her from seeing its cause; if in this case it has to do with how she is living her life in terms of family, work and social life.

I hope she gets better.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#50

Post by bigwavedave »

t0mbstone wrote: post #2

Wow, I wish I could just go on sick leave for 4 months because I was feeling depressed...

> Wow, I wish I could just go on sick leave for 4 months because I was feeling depressed...

Well... If you're indeed depressed, I wish for that too.

However, if you're actually healthy and just making a snarky comment, then I hope you never experience depression- it's hell. No amount of descriptive imagery or keen adjectives can ever convey what it actually feels like, so I understand how people who've never been in its jaws can be so dismissive. After all, just like it's hard to tell that stuffed inside a ballerina's blood-filled shoes are cramped, broken, _aching_ feet, it's hard to wrap your head around pain that isn't readily seen, much less try to empathize with the person feeling it.

The only way I can think of to describe depression is to describe suicidal ideation: when you have a moment, go to your garage, get a hammer, and smash your thumb with it. Not a pleasant thought, right? I'd be willing to bet that if you were to legitimately try, you'd find it almost impossible; the instinct for self preservation is one of the most basic, powerful instincts. Now, imagine a situation where you're in so much pain that this instinct is completely overwhelmed and you actively try to kill yourself to stop it, a situation where you cannot believe you'll ever be able to be happy again, a situation that feels truly hopeless.

That's depression. While suicidal ideation is one of the extremes, depression is something that drives a person to that point.

In all honesty, I sincerely hope neither you nor your loved ones ever have to face such despair. "That they experienced loss is not a gain, and that they experienced pain is not a victory."

But hey, I'm just some guy on the internet- YMMV.

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