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Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

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Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#41
1999/2000 Toronto, height of the dot com, new grad in a "senior dev" role with no real experience. Our CTO was a paranoid chronic pot smoker who lectured me regularly on knowing the difference between "sharks" vs. "dolphins", our manager, a sweet Hungarian man who excelled in his prior career managing major infrastructure projects, was pulled out of retirement to lead the team and the experience almost killed him... Our ORM mapping product had fatal flaws and only I and our CTO knew it... The CTO was pushed out, I was put in charge briefly... Sleeping at work 4 nights a week, 14 hour days, living off diet coke and veal sandwiches, gained 40 pounds... Experienced my first panic attack prior to a meeting with key investors... One of whom was wanted by the RCMP for fraud. Good times... The thought of experiencing 1/5 of that stress and chaos again still gives me anxiety... 20 years later. After that experience , my tolerance for continued stress is very low without encountering anxiety... I empathize with what you are experiencing.

I now live in a 150 sqft tiny house in the woods, shower under the stars, poop in a bucket, grow food, fall asleep to the sound of frogs and owls... And it's the happiest I've ever been.

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#42
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All disorders are just labels trying to encompass the complexity of the entire human brain at every level. If you hear stories from people diagnosed with something and you're surprised by how much you relate to it, then you're surprised by how much you relate to it and can empathize on some level depending on how it impacted you and the person whose story you're comparing to. Or maybe you strongly relate but reject d…

Eh, sorta? Clinicians take those "labels" seriously; they're more than a mere shorthand for the psychological experience(s) of an individual.

Some critics say psychological labels are invented, not discovered.

The medical model of the human brain is good for billing insurance companies and standardizing clinician behavior i suppose but not necessarily an objective reality.

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#43
post #41

1999/2000 Toronto, height of the dot com, new grad in a "senior dev" role with no real experience. Our CTO was a paranoid chronic pot smoker who lectured me regularly on knowing the difference between "sharks" vs. "dolphins", our manager, a sweet Hungarian man who excelled in his prior career managing major infrastructure projects, was pulled out of retirement to lead the team and the experience almost killed him...…

I suspect the whole idea of startups is "no boundaries" and you ran smack into it.

Glad you found your personal sovereignty.

(by the way I know the difference between a shark and a dolphin, but what about a dolphin and a porpoise?)

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#44
post #43
post #41

1999/2000 Toronto, height of the dot com, new grad in a "senior dev" role with no real experience. Our CTO was a paranoid chronic pot smoker who lectured me regularly on knowing the difference between "sharks" vs. "dolphins", our manager, a sweet Hungarian man who excelled in his prior career managing major infrastructure projects, was pulled out of retirement to lead the team and the experience almost killed him...…

I suspect the whole idea of startups is "no boundaries" and you ran smack into it. Glad you found your personal sovereignty. (by the way I know the difference between a shark and a dolphin, but what about a dolphin and a porpoise?)

I lol'd at the last sentence. Is a porpoise a euphemism for a dumb dolphin or something?

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#45
Absolutely. I've gone through periods where simply opening my laptop would almost invariably result in what I can only describe as a low-grade panic attack. If that's not PTSD, I don't know what is.

I've been taking a break for most of the last 6 months, and am only just starting to get back to 'normal'. I'm not at all convinced that I'll ever fully get back to where I was pre-burnout, but at least I can check my email again without provoking a fight or flight response.

If you have the financial resources to do so, I strongly recommend you take some time off - be away from all technology and spend time in nature if at all possible. Focus on sleeping well, eating well, and exercise.

Trying to power through what you're feeling might seem heroic, but you could end up doing lasting damage to yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#46
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh, sorta? Clinicians take those "labels" seriously; they're more than a mere shorthand for the psychological experience(s) of an individual.

Some critics say psychological labels are invented, not discovered. The medical model of the human brain is good for billing insurance companies and standardizing clinician behavior i suppose but not necessarily an objective reality.

Words ≠ reality...you don't say?

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#47
post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some critics say psychological labels are invented, not discovered. The medical model of the human brain is good for billing insurance companies and standardizing clinician behavior i suppose but not necessarily an objective reality.

Words ≠ reality...you don't say?

Laypeople word policing psychological terms on the internet is a weird rabbit hole if you buy the criticism the terms are arbitrary to begin with and don't really refer to reality.

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stress caused by trauma is by definition post-traumatic stress. It is commonly associated with war, car crashes or other violence but bear in mind that trauma is fairly subjective.

Yes, but to be a disorder it has to meet specific criteria.

Specific criteria set out by the DSM, the most recent version of which is essentially a checklist of symptoms for doctors to classify mental health on behalf of insurance companies for billing and labeling purposes. As a layperson, undiagnosed and untreated for any 'mental illness', and in my personal opinion, every new edition of this 'psychologists bible' demonstrates to me the entire point is quickly getting lost, and serves a different master than the wellbeing of patients. Its confirmation bias for my decision to go into technology rather than psychology, so take this with a grain of salt.

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#49
post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Words ≠ reality...you don't say?

Laypeople word policing psychological terms on the internet is a weird rabbit hole if you buy the criticism the terms are arbitrary to begin with and don't really refer to reality.

What is reality?

Re: Ask HN: Is startup PTSD real and possible?

#50
post #43
post #41

1999/2000 Toronto, height of the dot com, new grad in a "senior dev" role with no real experience. Our CTO was a paranoid chronic pot smoker who lectured me regularly on knowing the difference between "sharks" vs. "dolphins", our manager, a sweet Hungarian man who excelled in his prior career managing major infrastructure projects, was pulled out of retirement to lead the team and the experience almost killed him...…

I suspect the whole idea of startups is "no boundaries" and you ran smack into it. Glad you found your personal sovereignty. (by the way I know the difference between a shark and a dolphin, but what about a dolphin and a porpoise?)

I figured that “sharks” and “dolphins” were metaphors for personality types in the tech scene but that still doesn’t explain much.
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