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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#41

Post by ImaCake »

Haul4ss wrote: post #23

You can't, so don't bother thinking about it. You can make changes today that will pay dividends in 10 years, so maybe focus on that instead. I was widowed pretty young (as widowers go), so I have done my share of playing the what-if game with the past. Ultimately it is not a productive exercise, and I try not to do it. If I catch myself dwelling in unlived lives, I try to refocus on the one still in front of me.

> You can make changes today that will pay dividends in 10 years, so maybe focus on that instead.

Exactly this. No matter what your imagined and real futures turn out to be, the good ones all require effort and investment in the present. You can’t go wrong with making investments in your life now.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#42

Post by newerduder »

pdog wrote: post #5

“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become .”

If I ever meet a better or greater version of myself, I expect to get (figuratively) smacked upside the head and told exactly what to do with what little I have left of life.

In every case I can think of, it's better to know. Even when it doesn't seem like it.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#43

Post by throwaway189262 »

quickthrower2 wrote: post #17

It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?

Raising kids is the "default" choice. More than 50% of people do it. Getting rich or traveling for your life are much rarer, hence more interesting

Edit: ah yes downvotes. Think about it this way. You meet someone with 6 fingers on each hand, kinda interesting right? Minutes later you meet someone with 5 fingers, also interesting?

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#44

Post by [deleted] »

bcrosby95 wrote: post #38
person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Funny. I'm disappointed by the status it's gained over the last 20 years. I miss when it was even lower status than it is now.

[deleted]

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#45

Post by tolbish »

pdog wrote: post #5

“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become .”

The implication is that living life with an innate sense of agency leads to a better outcome.

Does that mean the definition of Heaven is when the person you ended up becoming meets the person you could have wound up being?

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#47

Post by bonoboTP »

imgabe wrote: post #9
person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Don't get a job based on how impressive it sounds when you tell people about it at parties. You will spend far more time doing the job than you will talking about it at parties.

Also, there will always be higher status people around you. If you're a successful doctor, and move around in fancy doctor circles, you will know more accomplished doctors, directors of famous hospitals or whatever. You can always be bitter from envy if you're blinded by the status game. The struggle never ends, there's no "arriving". Software dev salaries (in the US) let you live way beyond material needs and allows tremendous luxuries (relative to other times and places).

It's a self inflicted mental suffering that people bring on themselves. Instead of enjoying that high wealth they fume about why they aren't as impressive as fancy lawyers, ceos, politicians and doctors...

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#48

Post by imgabe »

sanderjd wrote: post #31
imgabe wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't get a job based on how impressive it sounds when you tell people about it at parties. You will spend far more time doing the job than you will talking about it at parties.

Talking about your job at parties is way down the list of reasons social status matters. It's a fair point that people shouldn't make all their decisions with status in mind, but it is also wrong to belittle it as a consideration.

What are some of the other reasons? Suppose you could make $500k/year either by being a cardiologist or by cleaning out septic tanks. What advantages does the $500k from cardiology get you that the $500k from cleaning septic tanks does not? (Aside from impressing people at parties)

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#49

Post by WalterBright »

It's a popular fantasy. See "Replay" by Ken Grimwood. Or all those endless movies where someone gets to do high school over again, like "Peggy Sue Got Married". Or even "Groundhog Day". "A Christmas Carol". "It's a Wonderful Life". And on and on.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#50

Post by bonoboTP »

spacechild1 wrote: post #13
telesilla wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Couldn't you build something beautiful and useful and add to the world's treasures? That's not the mark of a low status person.

How many software developers actually get a chance to “add to the world's treasures“? Building yet another CRUD web app doesn't meet the definition in my book. I'm not saying it's not possible, but you have to be rather lucky.

How many normal people get a chance to work at a top law firm in a fancy position just because they graduated from some law school?

Better jobs are competed for strongly. Good stuff is never free and never available by default.

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