Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control • Hacker News Board

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#41

Post by XorNot » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 10:48 AM UTC

prablenha wrote: post #29

amrx431 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same shit is happening in India. If you dont have a H1B and never worked in US, good luck finding a girl. I am 27 right now and that too a low caste. I am seriously contemplating giving up hopes of marriage and remaining single. Will be tough as I dont have a family. All my family members were killed when I was young. I have stopped bothering and now just bury myself in work and reading to avoid the darkness.

So... The same thing that's happened for decades in the west? Good luck finding a woman if you're not over 8/10, taller than 180 cm, have a job, and accept her being a cheat... :-)

The incel "movement" is a violent death cult where a small core of dangerous sociopaths are trying to pull a Joker to prove their warped view of the world is right.

Get over your persecution complex, go develop some hobbies and learn how to respect yourself when you masturbate and you'll suddenly find people including women can actually stand to be around you.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#42

Post by throw930336 » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 10:54 AM UTC

throw930336 wrote: post #40

quotemstr wrote: post #3

Markets always appear next to scarcity, and laws against market operations always drive transactions underground, because supply and demand must be made to meet somehow. Without expressing approval per se of what's happening in China, I do have to express a total lack of surprise that people react to scarcity in one area in the same way they react to scarcity in every other. Extreme gender imbalances are societally d…

It's not too late. China is lucky in that they border a country with the opposite problem [1]: > One feature of the Russian-Chinese relationship seemed especially telling: Cross-border marriages are overwhelmingly between Chinese men and Russian women. Much of this has to do with demographics—Russia has a surplus of women, while China has too many men. In addition, the demographics issue might be overstated as many o…

(Can't seem to edit my post so I'll add an additional comment)

One of biggest issues with the 1-child policy is that it affected the middle class much more severely than the ultra-wealth and the rural countryfolk,

> Min was born in 1986, six years after the one-child policy came into effect. She is the second of five children, a reflection of lax enforcement of family planning in the Hebei farming village where she grew up. (Min's father told me that one family in the village had six children; another man, who had fathered seven children, had been the village chief.)

> Min herself, along with everyone she knows, has two children.

> When history's largest social experiment in state-regulated childbearing comes to an end, it will have been borne disproportionately by the Chinese urban middle-class. The elaborate machinery built to enforce these policies barely touched Min at all. She was ignored by the government, living at the margins--in China, that's often the best place to be.

https://www.theatlantic.com/china/archive/2013/03/why-the-on...

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#43

Post by varjag » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 10:55 AM UTC

logicchains wrote: post #11

scandox wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re going to enter into a relationship with the people you’re talking about (on a public forum) for the rest of your life.

Realistically, barring any massive progress in life-extension technology it's unlikely the poster will have to deal with his in-laws for the rest of his life (unless they're particularly murderous). Even less likely if he and his wife migrate away from China.

Fine, just for (better) half of their life then.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#44

Post by Macuyiko » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 10:58 AM UTC

throw930336 wrote: post #39

Macuyiko wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Depends. In rural China this is still a lot of money.

Not really. If they were really, really frugal, the most I could see that lasting is 2 years.

See another comment in this thread: "$10,000 is typical for bride-price in China and only a bit higher than average annual Chinese income. The Chinese do save more than 30% of their income so that is about three years of savings for average earners in China".

That seems more in line with my experience (and the $10,000 price is also something I've heard often). I could easily see my grandparents in law (who live in rural China) be able to live of $10k for three years, given that nothing exceptional happens.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#45

Post by throw930336 » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:05 AM UTC

williamdclt wrote: post #36

puranjay wrote: post #28

I would like to see an equivalent study on Indian weddings. All the people I know who got married recently spent between $50-$100k on their wedding. My own wedding was about $50k. Food alone was nearly $20k (over 1200 guests were invited - which was on the low end)

Genuine question: how is it possible to invite 1200 people? I can't imagine that you and your partner know 600 people each, I'd have a hard time finding 100 people to invite if I needed too

In Chinese weddings, when you invite your friends, you also invite their relatives and families as well. It can definitely add up.

And it's not just you inviting people, but your parents and their parents.

It's not uncommon to actually not know 2/3s of the people at your wedding.

The best part however is that each guest will give you a "red envelope" of money. It's basically the wedding gift. The more people you invite, the more money you can possibly make (even after the expenses of the wedding).

This money is then used for the new coupe to start their family.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#46

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:09 AM UTC

hkai wrote: post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

[deleted]

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#47

Post by throw930336 » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:15 AM UTC

Macuyiko wrote: post #44

throw930336 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not really. If they were really, really frugal, the most I could see that lasting is 2 years.

See another comment in this thread: "$10,000 is typical for bride-price in China and only a bit higher than average annual Chinese income. The Chinese do save more than 30% of their income so that is about three years of savings for average earners in China". That seems more in line with my experience (and the $10,000 price is also something I've heard often). I could easily see my grandparents in law (who live in ru…

I see what you're saying. I guess it depends on how people interpret "a lot." To me it would have to be at least 5x the average.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#48

Post by dEnigma » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:18 AM UTC

throw930336 wrote: post #39

Macuyiko wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Depends. In rural China this is still a lot of money.

Not really. If they were really, really frugal, the most I could see that lasting is 2 years.

In rural China? I can live pretty comfortably on 10k for two years in an Austrian city with my cheap apartment and by abstaining from luxuries.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#49

Post by another-cuppa » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:18 AM UTC

puranjay wrote: post #28

I would like to see an equivalent study on Indian weddings. All the people I know who got married recently spent between $50-$100k on their wedding. My own wedding was about $50k. Food alone was nearly $20k (over 1200 guests were invited - which was on the low end)

OK, but most people in the world simply can't afford that, so you must be an outlier.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#50

Post by majos » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 11:32 AM UTC

throw930336 wrote: post #40

quotemstr wrote: post #3

Markets always appear next to scarcity, and laws against market operations always drive transactions underground, because supply and demand must be made to meet somehow. Without expressing approval per se of what's happening in China, I do have to express a total lack of surprise that people react to scarcity in one area in the same way they react to scarcity in every other. Extreme gender imbalances are societally d…

It's not too late. China is lucky in that they border a country with the opposite problem [1]: > One feature of the Russian-Chinese relationship seemed especially telling: Cross-border marriages are overwhelmingly between Chinese men and Russian women. Much of this has to do with demographics—Russia has a surplus of women, while China has too many men. In addition, the demographics issue might be overstated as many o…

Interesting point, I've never heard of this.

Why are girls more likely to be the hidden children, though? Does cultural preference for a son mean "well, he's the favorite anyway, may as well make it official"?