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It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

bbc.co.uk

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Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#41

Post by thismyusername »

cookiecaper wrote: post #10

Autism, like cancer, is not a single thing. Toward the start of the spectrum, including Asperger's, it seems to be essentially "clinically-significant weirdness, not otherwise specified" (on the later end of the spectrum, it's "major or profound mental retardation, not otherwise specified"). A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to l…

I've worked with kids with autism, I can tell you your comment is very accurate in my experience. The amount of difference between kids with autism (in the way it presents itself) is huge. Its not a single disorder.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#42

Post by thismyusername »

gowld wrote: post #29
cookiecaper wrote: post #10

Autism, like cancer, is not a single thing. Toward the start of the spectrum, including Asperger's, it seems to be essentially "clinically-significant weirdness, not otherwise specified" (on the later end of the spectrum, it's "major or profound mental retardation, not otherwise specified"). A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to l…

Mental Retardation is not autism, though it is often correlated. http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1088357606021002... > "Overall, the findings indicate that more empirical evidence is needed before conclusions can be made about the percentages of children With autism Who are mentally retarded." Diagnosis isn't a scapegoat, it's a doorway to effective engagements and improved quality of life.

I think you're missing his point. What good is a diagnosis if its not accurate?

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#43

Post by [deleted] »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

[deleted]

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#44

Post by tejasmanohar »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I don’t think I associate those hobbies (or lack thereof) with any sort of condition. I’ve seen many people in different boats or take and do not take interest in them.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#45

Post by alexbanks »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

This reads just like a person who felt normal social awkwardness in their youth, not a person that actually has some form of Autism.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#46

Post by lisper »

pluto9 wrote: post #15
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

Nothing in your description is specific to Asperger's Syndrome. You sound like an introvert with some social anxiety, which is not a developmental disorder.

You should consider the possibility that I have not given a complete description of my situation in a single HN comment from which one could properly diagnose me one way or the other. Maybe the aspects of my situation that would definitively decide the question one way or the other are too painful for me to air in public even after all these years, or maybe I just don't feel like baring my soul in public. Either way, I don't really care if you want to attach the label "disorder" to it or not. All I know is that it caused me a lot of pain and anguish well into my 20s and 30s, and it took a lot of years of concerted effort to change my situation. My point is not that I want to wear the scarlet A with pride, my point is that I was able to do something about it, whatever it was, and my life is immeasurably better for having made that effort. The rest is just quibbling over terminology.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#47

Post by maxxxxx »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I still remember the feeling of confusion and depression growing up and watching people form relationships, going to parties and doing small talk while I wasn't able to figure out these things that are usually taken for granted. I think my life would have been much better if somebody had recognized this and helped me to function in social life. There are social skills that can be learned with enough practice. It won't be as intuitive as for most "normal" people but it's often possible to function well enough.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#48

Post by dkarl »

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interest with, since some interests can only be pursued in a very limited way by one's self. I would like to become closer to people I find interesting or admirable. I would like to be able to offer people the pleasure and comfort of a friendly greeting and conversation. These are things I find very difficult, and I can't imagine a diagnosis erasing my regret at mostly failing to do these things, or eliminating my desire to achieve just a little bit more success at them.

My therapist suggested that Aspergers might help, along with other factors we had already identified, explain a lot of my childhood experiences, so I asked her if a diagnosis would give me a new way to work on my current issues. She said no, given my current status, it wouldn't affect our approach, just our retrospective understanding. Given that, I didn't quite care enough to spend time and money meeting with a specialist who could verify her suspicions. I might do it someday just out of curiosity, but I can't imagine it giving me any sense of relief or validation. My deficiencies are my deficiencies, with or without a diagnosis. Too often someone who encounters me leaves thinking I don't like them, and I know their natural tendency will be to fill in the reason with something they don't like about themselves or something about themselves that people harbor prejudice against. I hate that, and a diagnosis won't stop it from happening. A diagnosis won't make people think of me when they're planning something. A diagnosis won't give me the right words when someone has lost a loved one. I've put in a lot of work and made substantial improvement, and unless a diagnosis can help me progress further or faster, it just doesn't mean anything to me.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#49

Post by lisper »

brabel wrote: post #8
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

> My idea of a good time is reading up on quantum mechanics or the ordinal hierarchy. Haha, same here!! Does it mean I might be an "Aspie" too???

An interest in geeky things in and of itself is not diagnostic of Aspergers. What matters more is if you have trouble with interpersonal relationships, which I definitely did growing up. Things are much better nowadays, but it took a lot of hard work to get from A to B.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#50

Post by bluetomcat »

olavk wrote: post #39
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am:

1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking.

2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small spot needs to be covered every time, even if it was previously clean. Otherwise I feel uneasy for completely irrational reasons.

3. Great confusion and anxiety when things in my job or everyday life cannot be done according to my carefully crafted plan.

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