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Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

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Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#41

Post by ggus »

Red_Tarsius wrote: post #8

> It took me a while to realize that no matter how close you are to someone or how much they claim to love you, people simply cannot keep secrets. I learned this a few years ago when I thought I was gay and told people. The more harmful the secret, the juicier the gossip and the more likely you are to be betrayed. People don't care about their word or what they've promised, they just do whatever the fuck they want an…

Going from high expectations to no expectations is only half of the solution.

You can then try to expect people to just be human, and be delighted when their humanity shines in a good way.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#42

Post by nurettin »

wyclif wrote: post #11
nurettin wrote: post #4

This just makes me hate the god people involved in his demise.

Keep in mind that there are usually two sides to every story. I'm not saying he was lying, this was his perception of the situation. Other people had much different impressions of his parents.

Keep in mind that they weren't parenting those other people. (Those other people being one commenter on HN) And those other people did not dedicate most of their dying words condemning those parents. Well this should have been pretty obvious.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#43

Post by nurettin »

cgmg wrote: post #26
wyclif wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is if that's what happened. But you and I don't know that.

What reason do you have to doubt his account? I'm honestly curious. To quote: He does not have a history being dramatic, emotional, manipulative. He does not have a history of having crazy outbursts and attention seeking behaviors. He is a quiet reserved isolated type, and he wasn't in any trouble at all. He wasn't a drug addict, a criminal, a thief. He wasn't a psycho borderline nutjob who randomly does random thing…

The reason looks like religious defensiveness.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#45

Post by krylon »

It is so soulcrushing and depressing to think that somebody who appears to be a kind and sensitive person had to go through that much pain. I have seen a couple of fairly miserable days in my time, and I still was not even close to seriously consider ending my own life. Maybe I am just strange in that regard, but maybe that means this person had to suffer a lot more than I could ever imagine.

Life can be hard miserable enough - more than enough! - even under the best of circumstances. That some people still would go out of their way to make it worse for others without any real need is something I do not think I will ever understand.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#46

Post by rdiddly »

erikpukinskis wrote: post #16

There are a lot of logical loops here that don’t make sense. “I can’t”, “I will always”, “for obvious reasons...” etc. They sound familiar to me. I’ve been stuck in loops of anger/pain where I can’t let go of an axiom, even though I know it’s probably not representative of reality, because I am obsessed about the possibility of finding another axiom under that one.... one that is both represented in reality AND addre…

Well said. He missed his biggest and best opportunity for not only comfort but revenge as well, by not talking honestly and openly about it. Seems paradoxical that he'd be brave enough to die, but not to try that. And don't just tell one person; scatter it to the four winds. Ideally go on Oprah so you can have a million people supporting you and hating your abuser for you. Yeah you'll lose your precious precious secret that way, but that's kind of the whole point. It stops being your sole burden, yes, but more importantly it stops being the thing you protect at all costs. Anything you protect at all costs is obviously the most important thing in your life, right? So if you want it to stop being that, you have to demote it from that lofty position. The day you can talk about it as casually as ordering a sandwich is the day you've finally licked it. But it can be scary to start letting go of the thing you've been hanging onto your whole life, even (ironically) when that thing is so profoundly shitty.

Shame is just the shadow of pride. The same advice applies to both: get over yourself. The difference is, with pride it's so other people can stand you. With shame it's so you can stand yourself.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#47

Post by paloaltokid »

NiklasMort wrote: post #37
paloaltokid wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m sorry to hear that that is your view of life. From my own experience of having money, I can say with some amount of certainty that it has no bearing on your happiness. But it is possible to be happy, that much I know. The secret is that it takes work and an open-minded attitude. In my own experience, meditation is the only thing I’ve found that really works. Maybe you can give it a try and see if it works for you…

My main point was that professional therapy and counseling is very expensive, even in social countries like Western Europe. Free resources are all exhausted and often bad, private therapy is 100$/h. Now even if you earn decent that's a lot of cash but people with issues usually barely have enough to pay rent and food. And as to meditation or "talking helps": NOTHING changes reality. I can do all positive thinking I w…

> And as to meditation or "talking helps": NOTHING changes reality. I can do all positive thinking I want in the end I am still surrounded by endless suffering and misery.

That's where I respectfully disagree with you. I've been practicing meditation for over a decade and it very much changed my reality.

Re: Last Words of Programmer Bill Zeller (2011)

#49

Post by wyclif »

nurettin wrote: post #43
cgmg wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What reason do you have to doubt his account? I'm honestly curious. To quote: He does not have a history being dramatic, emotional, manipulative. He does not have a history of having crazy outbursts and attention seeking behaviors. He is a quiet reserved isolated type, and he wasn't in any trouble at all. He wasn't a drug addict, a criminal, a thief. He wasn't a psycho borderline nutjob who randomly does random thing…

The reason looks like religious defensiveness.

Wait, questioning the venting and rage level of a suicide note is "religious defensiveness???" Wha....????
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