Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student • Hacker News Board

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#41

Post by SturgeonsLaw » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 1:56 PM UTC

berneezy3 wrote: post #10

kutkloon7 wrote: post #9

It strikes me as really odd that mocking Asians this way is acceptable, while almost any remark about black people can be interpreted as serious racism. In my opinion, people in the US are, without realizing it, very hypocritical and very stuck-up when it comes to racism. If your roommates joke that you will study all day, they are being really rude, but making fun at a cultural difference which is indeed very notica…

I think that points out the whole fallacy of PC culture: that Americans only will be ethnically thoughtful when being pressured into. For better or for worse, Asians get mocked simply because we are conditioned to deal with mockery with silence. I don't know whether we can just attribute that to Asians dealing with it well. But I definitely share your hopes that this quality will benefit us in the long run. One of my…

> roommates who mocked me

Just curious, did you perceive a certain level of malice with their mocking, or was it more lighthearted? I can't speak for Americans, but here in Australia, mocking from your friends is a sign of acceptance and mateship. It's a way of indirectly indicating that you're comfortable enough with someone to knock them around a bit, it's a complimentary way of saying "I know you're strong enough to handle it".

I don't want to risk sidelining your experience, but is there a chance they may have seen you as one of the boys?

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#42

Post by walshemj » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 1:56 PM UTC

Symbiote wrote: post #38

ajeet_dhaliwal wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a UK comedy show from a few years ago called Little Britain that has this same thing happening in a recurring skit except with English. There was a British woman who claimed to never understand what an old Indian woman wearing a sari with an Indian accent was saying despite it being quite clear. I wonder whether this is some low level passive aggressive behaviour around the world due annoyance of dealing with…

Cringe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpiAhxaE_oI I don't think I've ever met anyone in England like this, but I can well believe they exist.

The infamous racist nan that Gordon Brown ran into wilst campaigning.

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#43

Post by shaobo » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:00 PM UTC

gaius wrote: post #36

leemailll wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not a Maoist thing. Why you think the two would have any connection?

Are you asking what is the connection between China and Mao?

He is asking why are you overthinking this? People in China have put the cultural revolution behind them, it might be helpful for others to do the same when attempting to psychoanalyse present day Chinese behaviours.

Your weight, your age and how much you earn are not taboo subjects in China, so people will bring them up in casual conversations.

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#44

Post by greggman » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:02 PM UTC

ajeet_dhaliwal wrote: post #33

titanix2 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Japanese people will rarely call out any grammar/pronunciation error" & "In Japan, if you speak Japanese well, eventually they stop forgiving you as "oh, he's just a foreigner", and they hold you to similar standards." There is also something else I notice: some people will decide they will not understand you because you look/are foreign no matter how hard you try or even if you don't make not many mistakes. There i…

There's a UK comedy show from a few years ago called Little Britain that has this same thing happening in a recurring skit except with English. There was a British woman who claimed to never understand what an old Indian woman wearing a sari with an Indian accent was saying despite it being quite clear. I wonder whether this is some low level passive aggressive behaviour around the world due annoyance of dealing with…

The difference in Japan is you can have zero accent and speak fluently and just by looks some Japanese will have some kind of mental block understanding and/or acknowledging your Japanese.

Examples: I can call some business on the phone and people won't know I'm a foreigner. No accent. I've gotten in a cab late at night, talked to the driver for 10 minutes, and then had him freak out went he turned around to collect the fair because based on conversation he thought his ride was Japanese. I bring those examples up only to point out having zero accent and being able to speak in a way that I'm perceived as being fluent.

And yet I still run into people who's brains seems unable to accept that I'm speaking Japanese to them. It's a common complaint by friends who've been here 15-20-25 years that they still get this. Over time I've learned to accept they are trying to be helpful and I'm the 1 in 50 or 1 in 100 foreigners that can speak Japanese well so just thank them ... in ridiculously polite Japanese.

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#45

Post by rz2k » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:02 PM UTC

leemailll wrote: post #28

gaius wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Chinese people will call you out very directly, maybe even embarrass you in front of people to the point where you are too shy to speak I wonder if this is an inherent Chinese thing or a Maoist thing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struggle_session

It is not a Maoist thing. Why you think the two would have any connection?

Weren't criticism and self-criticism[1] integral to overturning respect for traditional social superiors and making personal dignity more dependent on political compliance?[2]

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struggle_session

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-criticism#Communism

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#46

Post by SturgeonsLaw » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:06 PM UTC

klagermkii wrote: post #26

kutkloon7 wrote: post #9

It strikes me as really odd that mocking Asians this way is acceptable, while almost any remark about black people can be interpreted as serious racism. In my opinion, people in the US are, without realizing it, very hypocritical and very stuck-up when it comes to racism. If your roommates joke that you will study all day, they are being really rude, but making fun at a cultural difference which is indeed very notica…

I think a lot of it comes from the modern definition of racism involving power + prejudice. As a group Chinese people appear to be relatively successful in society (certainly in tech) and so sit slightly higher up the power scale than black people do. So if a white person makes a negative comment it's going to appear as societally "punching down" much further if it targets a black person vs a Chinese person. Basicall…

That's not the "modern" definition of racism, that's an arbitrary modification that only exists in academia and is used to justify racism against whites and sexism against men.

Whether you're punching up or down, racism and sexism are ugly and disgusting, regardless of what Bidel-Pavda[0] and her ilk would claim.

[0] http://wetasphalt.com/content/why-racism-prejudice-power-wro...

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#47

Post by throwanem » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:07 PM UTC

rayiner wrote: post #34

kutkloon7 wrote: post #9

It strikes me as really odd that mocking Asians this way is acceptable, while almost any remark about black people can be interpreted as serious racism. In my opinion, people in the US are, without realizing it, very hypocritical and very stuck-up when it comes to racism. If your roommates joke that you will study all day, they are being really rude, but making fun at a cultural difference which is indeed very notica…

There is nothing odd or hard to understand about it. The rule for mockery or jokes in the US is generally "you don't punch down." No cop has ever flipped out and shot an unarmed Asian kid based on stereotypes about how hard asians study. There is no such thing as "driving while Asian." Asians make more money on average than even white people, they live longer, etc. They are well represented in higher academia and hig…

> If you really want to understand what makes American culture tick, live somewhere like Philadelphia or Baltimore for awhile.

Baltimore here, almost two decades. If the point you're using my city to make were as obvious as you make it sound, I would not now need to ask that you make it explicit.

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#48

Post by walshemj » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:08 PM UTC

codingdave wrote: post #35

kutkloon7 wrote: post #9

It strikes me as really odd that mocking Asians this way is acceptable, while almost any remark about black people can be interpreted as serious racism. In my opinion, people in the US are, without realizing it, very hypocritical and very stuck-up when it comes to racism. If your roommates joke that you will study all day, they are being really rude, but making fun at a cultural difference which is indeed very notica…

If your roommates in college mock you for studying all day,they may be missing the point of college, and you may want different roommates anyway.

But college (university) is more than rote learning and getting a 4.0 or a first.

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#49

Post by mac01021 » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:12 PM UTC

Gigablah wrote: post #30

codecamper wrote: post #11

Don't adapt. Best part of the US for me is all the other cultures living in it. Pho soup, Ethiopian pancakes, Burmese cuisine. Please don't adapt.

Adapting doesn't necessarily mean assimilating -- it can be "code-switching" in a cultural sense.

To some extent, though, a culture is it's aversions. If your birth culture demands intolerance of some kind of behavior, you can't adapt without losing some of that culture.

And to what code do you switch when people of conflicting cultures are present in the same room with you?

Re: Adapting to American culture as a Chinese student

#50

Post by wcummings » Sun, Nov 27, 2016, 2:14 PM UTC

A lot of the stuff in the first response feels like it could be easily taught (eye contact, deodorant, basic smalltalk), do universities offer some kind of class or workshop to help acclimate people?