Earlier quoted context omitted.
Real world banks are backed by the federal government, both in terms of the FDIC, and the FBI and broader DOJ. Robbing a bank is a federal offense, and that is frankly why "big heists" tends to be such great fiction. Mostly.
I'm pretty sure that stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of a "thing", regardless of what that "thing" is, is a federal offense thanks to CFAA, if nothing else.
If you generated weak keys then it's not theft for me to guess/calculate them and allocate those coins to myself.
This is why BTC is described as proving the strength of hash functions, etc. If it was easy to cheat, someone would claim the public bug bounty by giving themselves all the coins. Because they haven't, we have a fairly good minimum bound on the difficulty.