The most alienating thing that happened to me as a female engineer

Post by golergka » Fri, Jun 17, 2016, 8:53 AM UTC

EliRivers wrote: post #31

adwn wrote: post #19

To summarize: Most of the team wants to watch progam A; watching program A during dinner is an established team ritual; author wants to change channel to program B, which is "met with incredulity and laughter". Some time later, program B is running; team members come in and want to change the channel to program A. And that latter event is the most alienating during her time at Microsoft. Wat. It gets better: Because…

You have misrepresented the case, although I do agree that it's not overtly a male/female thing. People are in a shared TV-viewing area. There is something being shown on TV. New person enters and decides to change the channel without asking. This is the action of a total dickhead. I don't care what the established ritual is. If a group of people are clearly watching something else (and they must be, because here the…

Post by scrollaway » Fri, Jun 17, 2016, 8:55 AM UTC

fleitz wrote: post #25

mgraczyk wrote: post #15

Wow, if that's the most alienating experience she has had, I am envious. As a male engineer who does not like sports, I've had far worse experiences involving outright ridicule when I asked to watch something besides a game. I didn't blog about it though, because I have real problems far more vexing than not having 100% compatibility with my coworkers.

That's because we don't tolerate dissent in the ranks, you either conform, or you get tough enough to stop taking other people's shit. Like the downvotes I will take for this post, I'd rather speak my mind than have more 1 bits on some server somewhere.

Post by elevenfist » Fri, Jun 17, 2016, 8:57 AM UTC

asQuirreL wrote: post #30

emsy wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure whether you're serious or ironic. This is a social dynamic I've witnessed several times in my life, in male-only and mixed-gender groups. When someone acts against the groups collective will, he or she faces an "outcry". I don't condone this, but to call this out as a gender or diversity issue seems to be a bit of a stretch.

I feel like it is a diversity issue, albeit not of the usual kind, and it is not exclusive to groups whose identity is strongly linked to gender. All groups will try and preserve their own identity, because if they don't, they stop existing. I'm merely making an observation here, not condoning the actions of groups. This kind of behaviour may seem harmless in some situations, but then also fuels some of the worst ins…

Post by EliRivers » Fri, Jun 17, 2016, 8:57 AM UTC

DanBC wrote: post #38

EliRivers wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have misrepresented the case, although I do agree that it's not overtly a male/female thing. People are in a shared TV-viewing area. There is something being shown on TV. New person enters and decides to change the channel without asking. This is the action of a total dickhead. I don't care what the established ritual is. If a group of people are clearly watching something else (and they must be, because here the…

You had a great point until you brought in psychiatric diagnoses. I think this is an example of the conjunction fallacy, or The Linda Problem. Bob walks in and changes the channel even though other people are watching. Is Bob an asshole, or is Bob and asshole and has Asperger's?

Post by fleitz » Fri, Jun 17, 2016, 8:58 AM UTC

yomly wrote: post #40

fleitz wrote: post #16

Want to know the most alienating thing that ever happened to me as a female engineer? Someone told me to suck their dick in front of the CEO. Suck it the fuck up buttercup.

That's pretty awful. Out of interest, what did the CEO do? Sounds like a pretty bold thing for the other employee to say in front of the CEO. What was the context? Could that employee have equally said something as vile to another man without repercussion?