No mention of children, until we get this: "maddening children who kill the passion from which they emerged".
This solipsistic, navel-gazing age can't die fast enough.
Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
41–50 of 109 posts
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#42PROTIP: 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure known as your life. Life will surely be no bed of roses. 3. Stress Test your relationship in some way to ensure the vision/goal is aligned. I decided I should marry my wife following…
> 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc.
What's yours?
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#43No mention of children, until we get this: "maddening children who kill the passion from which they emerged". This solipsistic, navel-gazing age can't die fast enough.
What point are you making? That children can't somehow add additional stress to a relationship?
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#44PROTIP: 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure known as your life. Life will surely be no bed of roses. 3. Stress Test your relationship in some way to ensure the vision/goal is aligned. I decided I should marry my wife following…
I figured if we passed that test, we could handle pretty much anything. A relationship isn't hard when you are on an adventure and experiencing new things and facing new challenges. Relationships become hard when you have spent a few years in a daily rut of kids, work, house work, bills repeat repeat repeat.
To be fair, both scenarios are known to stress them. I have known many couples who met, were fine for months, and then went on a trip together and broke up. Traveling with someone can be very stressful.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#45Earlier quoted context omitted.
So don't have kids, we're not running out of people after all.
Not sure why you're downvoted. I suppose you're not contributing too much to the conversation, and it seems a little sarcastic (or something), but i often feel not having kids is a forgotten option. My SO and I chose long ago not to have kids (independently, fwiw), and people often look at us like we have two heads (.. each, heh).
People don't like to question the basic assumptions they live with, such as, "Having children is a necessary part of a good and fulfilled life."
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#46> The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. Yes, it does! OMG, this so laughably wrong. (The whole article.) Who you marry is a big, big determiner of happiness. It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.
> It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person. Or date them. Or live with them.
[deleted]
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#47What matters in the marriage of feeling is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right. That is not enough. If you don't have the practical logistics down as well, the odds will be very much against you. Trust is a big factor. Everything is harder when resources are constrained, especially trust.
What you quoted is not the author's point at all. He goes on to say it's an overreaction to the previous belief in "logic" marriages.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#48No mention of children, until we get this: "maddening children who kill the passion from which they emerged". This solipsistic, navel-gazing age can't die fast enough.
What point are you making? That children can't somehow add additional stress to a relationship?
That this is a solipsistic, melodramatic and, ultimately, immature analysis of marriage.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#49Of course, you should not marry or have kids - that way you will be better separated, an easier to tame slave. Thanks for not having relationships, thanks for not having people who stand up for you!
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
What point are you making? That children can't somehow add additional stress to a relationship?
That this is a solipsistic, melodramatic and, ultimately, immature analysis of marriage.
Could you elaborate? What is solipsistic or even melodramatic about it?