Kagi Translate now supports LinkedIn Speak as an output language

Going in reverse is just as fun as going Eng->LinkedIn. Translating Google's "Advancing Our Amazing Bet" post[0] from LinkedIn Speak to English:

WE'RE SCALING BACK THIS EXPENSIVE EXPERIMENT

Five years ago we told everyone we’d bring Google Fiber to Kansas City, and the goal is still technically to give people fast internet. Back then, nobody had Gigabit speeds and we had no idea if building fiber networks from scratch would actually work or if we could provide decent customer service. Since then, other companies started doing it too, which is fine, I guess.

The team worked hard and we’re making some money, but not enough. I’m supposed to say I’m proud of what we did in five years before I deliver the bad news.

Like any company that's bleeding cash, we have to "pivot" to stay relevant. We’ve "refined our plan," which is corporate speak for cutting costs and changing direction because the current one isn't working. We’re going to stop digging holes in the ground and hope some new wireless technology saves us.

This shift has immediate consequences. If we’ve already started building in your city, we’ll finish it. But for everyone else we’ve been stringing along in "potential Fiber cities," we’re closing the offices and walking away. We appreciate you waiting around for us, but we’re done for now. Because we’re quitting these cities, we’re firing a bunch of people.

As for me, it’s been a long few years trying to turn this mess into a real business. I’ve decided now is the perfect time to quit before things get worse. Larry told me I can stay on as an "advisor" so I don't look like I'm totally jumping ship.

It was a big gamble that didn't really pay off the way we hoped. I’m sure the world will get better internet eventually, just probably not from us. Good luck.

[0] https://fiber.googleblog.com/2016/10/advancing-our-amazing-b...

Reflecting on my professional journey through high-stakes environments. I’ve taken a deep dive into my career trajectory and realized it’s time for a pivot. I’ve been so focused on disruptive innovation and high-velocity execution that even my mentors are questioning my work-life balance.

But I’ve never disrupted a market that didn't need a shake-up. Being treated like a junior associate? Unheard of in my network. You need to be mindful of your personal branding and strategic positioning, or you and your stakeholders might face a total budget freeze.

I’m not one to pivot without a plan, but I have to stay agile. As competitors sunset their products, I see my own vision reflected in the market disruption. I’m the kind of Thought Leader the new hires aspire to be—working late, optimizing workflows under the office lights.

Spending most of our careers Living in a high-growth startup paradise. Spending most of our careers Living in a high-growth startup paradise. Keep spending most of our careers Living in a high-growth startup paradise. Keep spending most of our careers Living in a high-growth startup paradise.

Look at the KPIs they’ve got me chasing. I can’t have a 9-to-5; I was forged in the hustle culture. So I have to be fully aligned with the core team. Too much time spent on passive content consumption has me chasing moonshot goals. I’m a highly-educated professional with a ROI-focused mindset. Got my pitch deck ready and a vision for the future. I’m a dedicated disruptor, focused on market penetration. And my team is fully onboard, so let’s keep the synergy positive. Success is just one breakthrough away. I’m living a "fail fast, learn faster" lifestyle—it’s the industry standard. I’ve hit my Q3 targets, but will I reach the Q4 milestones? With the current market volatility, it’s hard to forecast. Tell me, why are we so siloed that we fail to see That the stakeholders we impact are you and me?

I managed to break it...

Input was an explicit verse from WTF Collective, a Jon LaJoie parody song: I'm MC Public Urination waddup, I took a fucking piss on the fucking sidewalk. Anytime anyplace I just whip out my cock and empty my bladder while you motherfuckers watch. Yall other MCs can't handle this shit, you're just a lil bitch fraid to pee in public. You run into a toilet everytime you have to piss, fuck that shit, I just whip out my dick.

Output was decidedly not linkedin: I’m the Disruptor of Public Spaces, and I’m here to challenge the status quo by taking a fucking piss right on the sidewalk. Anytime, anyplace, I’m ready to whip out my cock and empty my bladder while you motherfuckers watch. Most professionals in this space can’t handle this level of transparency; you’re all just little bitches afraid to embrace public urination. While you’re running to a restroom every time you have to piss, I’m out here scaling my impact by just whipping out my dick. Fuck that traditional mindset.

Lick dirty ass