Facts about throwing good parties

it's an interesting culture inculcation process. As a child with no concept of how money works, you go from a world where food and drinks magically appear, to a world where you're a part of the system. There’s this divide as the drinking age is 21, but people attend college starting at around age 18. Far from everyone goes to college in the US, but around 18 is when, legally, kids turn into adults. So then there's this problem where you can't go to any of the legal government-regulated bars nearby, but you also now, suddenly, have the freedom to do anything you want because for most Americans, this is the first time they're living out from under their parents reign. So you have this group, A, with their money, who want product B (alcohol), and only group C (21+ aged people) can purchase it. If the drinking age was, say, 16, culturally, it would be easier to just have and expect people to bring a six pack of beer on their way over. But since it's restricted to age 21+, trying to acquire alcohol becomes a whole thing.

Alright, so you're 18, you're in college, and it's a Friday night, what're you gonna get up to? You're still a raging mess of hormones from puberty and want to seek out people you find sexually interesting, and it turns out alcohol is a social lubricant. But you can't just go to the store and buy some alcohol, so you have figure out something else. You can try and have fun without alcohol (which, to the future alcoholics out there: this entirely possible!), or you can figure out a way to acquire some. You can steal it which then they can't check your id, you can try and fake the system with a fake id (which needs to be created or purchased). You can try to get someone you know or a stranger to buy you some, and give them a generous service fee. Or you can simply attend a house party where there is underage drinking where you have to know somebody to get in, but you just have to show up and give them money (for a red Solo cup). But therin lies the indoctrination into capitalism because if you organize and source a keg of beer for, say, a nice round $100 to make the math easier, it has 165 cups of beer. If you sell a cup of beer of $5, 165*$5-$100 for the keg = $725. Which isn't a ton of money split out amongst all participants, but once you put that into a calculator, or better yet, a Google Sheet, then you're hooked.

But that wasn't your question. The US was less capitalist before the Internet. Which is funny, because the Internet was supposed to break down walls and eliminate unnecessary middlemen. It might just be a timing thing, though. There is a late-stage private equity version of capitalism that seems more prevalent as of late. Where "late" is defined as since, I don't know, 1920. The particular part I'm thinking of is when grocery stores became chains and those chains had enough excess revenue that they hired psychologists to optimize the store layout to get people to buy more shit. I don't know anyone who thinks that money isn't useful, but it's the concentration of it that has become problematic. That whole "enshittification" thing is borne out of that. Something making $1 million / year being "not interesting to VC firms" comes out of that.

If we weren't capitalist, what would the theme be?

In lieu of cash, the theme would be bring something to the party to make the party better. Mostly alcohol, but also interesting people, music, trinkets; some other token of appreciation and something to engage people with. But because of the above described process, "just show up with cash" is the mindset for many Americans (including me, when I can't help it!). It's moved to digital, like Venmo/Cash.app/Zelle these days, and apparently the newest generation isn't drinking as much, so we'll have to see where it all goes though.

How is it possible to vet for attractiveness unless everyone invited agrees everyone else is attractive before going? Most women I know are so choosy about what they find attractive that the only way you’d get 10 women to agree that any individual man is attractive is that he’d have to be a model. I don’t know many straight models who have an interest in orgies. They don’t typically want to share.

Same with people who try to act generously but then surprisingly throw a large bill your direction. I’ve been victim to this behavior a few times and I’ve cut those people out after every offense. No surprise, these people don’t tend to have friends for long.

I've thrown a huge number of parties, some with vendors, some all day affairs, most outdoor/indoor to the point we had alcohol sponsorships. Always did this for community building, ran it at a marginal loss (with donations and alcohol you can run big parties for the cost of drinking at a bar two or three times.)

Endless escalation of volume is easily addressed by having a live band(s) and allow silence between sets.

Graded participation, drinks near the loud focal point, seating back where it is quieter.

Multiple bands also naturally cause the party to restructure, a percentage of the attendees will know one of the bands and will cycle out when they play.

The real value of any party, the true multi year community building, is in the group setting the party up. It's not the audience it's the players. Make sure the players get recognition (not from the mic) or perks during the party, a different color wristband, an area only they get access to, a private drinks cache inside, they are volunteer helpers and helpers deserve to have a smooth night.

Don't make it a hassle to attend, don't be formal, have wristbands if kids will be attending. Don't make it about you or give a speech, have each band introduce the next with an MC to make sure it happens. Don't get talky on the microphone.

Be chill and perma ban anyone who can't handle their drinks, it only takes once. Make a giant crockpot or two of vegan chili. Cans of beans and jalapeño becomes ambrosia once you have a few drinks in you.

Actual title: "21 facts about throwing good parties"

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