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My Time Working at Stripe

jondlm.github.io

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Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#381

Post by kirso »

Brian_K_White wrote: post #269
nunez wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Put yourself in their shoes. They idolized a company that is known for top-shelf engineering talent and, more importantly, brutally hard interviews...and they just got an opportunity to interview with them. You have no idea what the interviewee will "no hire" them over, so you assume they want perfection because obviously. You're deathly afraid of making any mistakes because not getting the job you've been dreaming a…

I cannot understand how anyone gets past 5 years old while still being this fragile as to think any of this you just said. Everyone has some of these feelings but it's just a feeling like 10% of your mind not 100%. WTF idolizes a company? That is just wrong. Who raised someone to let them even think like that?

Sorry to be passive aggressive here, but who gets past 10 years old while still thinking that the world and humans operate the same way you do?

Just because you didn't face it, doesn't mean there are people who tie their identity to work success... in fact there are many.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#382

Post by snozolli »

astrange wrote: post #351
snozolli wrote: post #325

She, and apparently others she gathered feedback from, felt like I hadn’t done a good enough job pulling other engineers into the project. She spoke of how proud she was of the outcome but that it didn’t excuse my less than ideal methods. I gather from what he wrote that he's a software engineer. How is it his duty to "pull other engineers into the project"? What does management at this company do, besides invent con…

Two reasons: * it depends if the "other engineers" are on the same team or not. If they're a different team, it's not so much a manager responsibility. * in tech, it helps to already be doing the next job level up to get promoted to it. > What does management at this company do, besides invent contrived criticism to mash into a compliment sandwich? The primary job of a manager is to get their employees promoted. The…

If they're a different team, it's not so much a manager responsibility.

That doesn't even make any sense. If you need people from other teams, your manager should absolutely be coordinating that.

in tech, it helps to already be doing the next job level up to get promoted to it.

That is not justification for negative comments in a review.

The primary job of a manager is to get their employees promoted.

I have never, in my entire life, ever come across anyone inside or outside of management who held that view.

So yes, that's what they're supposed to do

Yeesh. Agreeing that management should invent contrived criticism to form a compliment sandwich? Okay. The important part here is the contrived bit, not the compliment sandwich.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#383

Post by Brian_K_White »

kirso wrote: post #381
Brian_K_White wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I cannot understand how anyone gets past 5 years old while still being this fragile as to think any of this you just said. Everyone has some of these feelings but it's just a feeling like 10% of your mind not 100%. WTF idolizes a company? That is just wrong. Who raised someone to let them even think like that?

Sorry to be passive aggressive here, but who gets past 10 years old while still thinking that the world and humans operate the same way you do? Just because you didn't face it, doesn't mean there are people who tie their identity to work success... in fact there are many.

Obviously this exists. The point was to express that this is not a reasonable way to exist.

Something has gone wrong for an adult human to be quite this fragile. Many people and even whole systems have failed them.

It's not about being uncaring or unsympathetic.

If you sympathise with someone like this (the ideas in the comment I responded to here more than the main article) because of the difficulty and unhappines of their state of existence, you should wish them to have been empowered to exist in the world without being flattened by the totally ordinary things that the world is full of that they will have to handle every day in ordinary life.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#384

Post by prinny_ »

wkjagt wrote: post #92

There's a lot of comments on the "10% more vulnerable" part of the post in here that amount to "I just owe the company work hours, and they owe me money", and a strong aversion to showing anything resembling human connection going slightly further than "how are you", "fine". One commented even called the question by the manager "abuse", and suggested the manager should be fired. But if on most days we're spending mos…

The thing is that in this scenario there is no control over the conversation so some participants may feel uncomfortable. My 10% can vary greatly from someone else's. The writer admitted so themselves "I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple years prior and a taste of how painful it was"

Imagine your manager asking you to share something at 10%, you share something modest like "sometimes I really feel anxiety over my work / deadlines / performance" and then the next person shares a deeply personal, super serious story about their almost collapsed marriage. They either set the tone for the whole conversation, forcing everybody else to follow along, or they hijack the conversation since what they shared is more serious.

There is no way to know before hand what someone is going to share, so there is no way to know before hand that everyone is going to feel comfortable.

"Human connection" could be discussing your hobbies with your coworkers, doesn't have to be a round table where everyone is sharing difficult experiences.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#386

Post by consteval »

wkjagt wrote: post #84
DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

Post: "If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable" This comment: "I'd rather not have my manager forcing me to do group therapy." How did "if you’re comfortable" become "forcing me", and "try and be 10% more vulnerable" become "group therapy"?

Your manager asking you something is never a request. How you "choose" to answer directly affects how they will perceive you, and there is an implication.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#387

Post by consteval »

random42 wrote: post #132
Tainnor wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Well, the manager asked only for “10% more vulnerable”. And they have absolutely no right to do that. "Being vulnerable" is not part of any job description.

Making high performance teams is part of their job description though, and there is research to indicate that teams with strong social bonds perform better.

Those teams develop strong social bonds precisely because their manager doesn't request (force) them to be 10% more vulnerable. That's a 1-way ticket to a bunch of people not liking you.

You can achieve that vulnerability via being a likable and honest person. I think often us technical-minded people forget that relationships aren't an optimization problem and don't respond like you think they would. Just being decent and trustworthy will take you there, saying things like "you can trust me guys!" often has the opposite effect.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#388

Post by __float »

pjot wrote: post #222

> He gave me a coderpad link. I started to read through the question. I could already feel my mind moving like molasses. On the surface the question seemed straightforward enough. It presented a simple data structure and asked me to do some filtering based on a set of constraints. “No problem!” I thought. I fired up vim and got to work. Wait, since when can you use your own editor? Is this common? Did I just fail to…

Yes, you can use your own editor. It's not generally _offered_ for the first (pre "onsite") interview but is an option if you ask. It's made clear (recommended, even) for the onsite that you have that option.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#389

Post by __float »

neilv wrote: post #302
cipheredStones wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the entirety of the post's description of the interviewer and the interview itself: > He introduced himself and we settled into the usual ritual of a phone screen. ... He gave me a coderpad link. ... It presented a simple data structure and asked me to do some filtering based on a set of constraints. ... He kindly ended the interview and asked if I had any questions. Everything else is about the author strugg…

Because traditionally good software engineers in an interview would treat each other as colleagues, not turn the meeting into a one-way hazing. The CS101 hazing interview style was popularized by some CS students with no work experience, and then cargo-culted as religious rituals by others who also didn't have any other conception of what interviews for experienced professionals should be.

Do you think interviewers at a company this size are deciding how interviews are run? They're basically just following a script.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#390

Post by 3vidence »

kelnos wrote: post #314
3vidence wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Commenting to save this for myself. Of the many many hours I've spent on this website, this comment probably made me feel more relaxed than anything else. Please continue your kind and helpful words on the internet:)

Meta: if you click on a comment's timestamp, you'll get a "favorite" link that you can use to bookmark a comment.

Had no idea about this! Thanks!
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