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A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

jakobgreenfeld.com

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Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#381

Post by banana_maker »

lars512 wrote: post #77

Many people have mentioned Monica, which is what I use for this. I live overseas from loved ones and old friends, meaning there are few natural cues to encourage communication. Without very regular chats my memory doesn't let me be as in context with the major things happening in their lives as I need to be to have meaningful conversations with them. Monica helps with both of these things. Getting reminders only real…

Chiming to say that I also use a self-hosted instance of Monica.

I hop between a lot of projects and hobbies so I tend to be a bit scatterbrained. Having a central store of my contacts, past events, their likes/dislikes is extremely useful for me.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#382

Post by olivertaylor »

gjulianm wrote: post #160
mettamage wrote: post #119

Some comments here claim that he is treating people not as friends. IMO these comments are not charitable a interpretation. While it is a plausible interpretation, I have strongly learned from HN to be charitable and optimistic when reading someone else's point of view. I know with topics like this that perspectives vary more wildly among people, so let me show you why I can be more optimistic in my interpretation. I…

I get thinking about a system like this. I have given some thought about building something similar, but always ended up abandoning it for the exact same reasons this post strikes me as extremely weird: - It feels weird classifying people in boxes of desired contact frequency. How do you decide that? Does the author think "I honestly don't care enough about this person to contact them more than once a year" ? Then wh…

I use a much simpler system, I have recurring reminders setup and when they trigger I just reach out to that person. I try to keep things light, like a text message, photo, link, etc. the great thing is that you can use the same message/photo/link for everyone. At first it felt impersonal but the message is always simply a trigger for the conversation that comes next. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what you say when you reach out.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#384

Post by _moof »

notreallyserio wrote: post #211

The biggest reason I don't maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I'm either embarrassed about my behavior or concerned that my shittiness is what led to our relationship in the first place. In any case, I find it's easier (and emotionally satisfying) to stay in touch with a couple people that I can have natural, unforced conversations with. Scheduling interactions on a…

This is me 100%. Although I've found that when I do talk to folks and apologize for some of the shittiest shittiness, more often than not they don't even remember what I'm talking about. The lesson here, for me at least, is that I blow things way out of proportion. (This is not surprising news.)

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#385

Post by bendouglas »

I built a system like this, and loved it enough that I built an app to do what the author describes: http://parsnipapp.com/

Totally free, with no plans to monetize it. Having an easy system like this adds enough value to me and my friends who use it to continue to develop and maintain it.

I love the author's automation for sending an email digest, I think that's a great feature that I'll add to the roadmap. Up next for development I'd like to add reminders for specific days (eg., birthdays, trip reminders, w/e).

If anyone gives the app a shot, I'd love to hear from you. Feedback is appreciated!

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#386

Post by jtolmar »

sivers wrote: post #331

(I'm the guy he refers to in that post.) If anyone reading this builds software like this, and releases it publicly, whether free or for sale, please let me know. I'd be happy to send people your way. Because of https://sive.rs/dbt I get a few emails a week from strangers, asking if my software is public yet, or if not, what else I would recommend. (And I might never make my software public. It's too tied-in to my no…

I've been working on one of these on and off for a while now!

It'll eventually be up on gosayhito.com. I'll try to remind you when it's done, but you can also probably put the website in as a monthly thing to check on.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#387

Post by warunsl »

bendouglas wrote: post #385

I built a system like this, and loved it enough that I built an app to do what the author describes: http://parsnipapp.com/ Totally free, with no plans to monetize it. Having an easy system like this adds enough value to me and my friends who use it to continue to develop and maintain it. I love the author's automation for sending an email digest, I think that's a great feature that I'll add to the roadmap. Up next f…

Not a feedback on the app. But I clicked through the link on my mac (Monterey) and was pleasantly surprised I could install this iPhone app on my mac. Is this new? Can we install iPhone apps on mac now?

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#388

Post by ssivark »

sivers wrote: post #331

(I'm the guy he refers to in that post.) If anyone reading this builds software like this, and releases it publicly, whether free or for sale, please let me know. I'd be happy to send people your way. Because of https://sive.rs/dbt I get a few emails a week from strangers, asking if my software is public yet, or if not, what else I would recommend. (And I might never make my software public. It's too tied-in to my no…

You might find Perkeep interesting: https://perkeep.org/

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#389

Post by nlh »

scotty79 wrote: post #123

> Of course, not everyone publishes content or updates regularly. In that case, I usually just ask what they’ve been up to lately. > You’d be surprised how many people are really happy to get these kinds of messages and they often spark all kinds of deeper conversations. I had an acquaintance I barely had any common interests with that every few weeks out of the blue would ask me "what's up?". Not once did it lead to…

You know it's funny - I read your comment earlier today and it stuck out because I have one old acquaintance who does the same thing -- we really weren't that close when we lived in the same city but he still pings me every once in a while just to say "what's up?". For some reason I find it exceedingly annoying, although I generally really like staying in touch with people.

Anyway, as if his ears were burning, he actually sent me a "what's up?" text about 5 minutes ago (first time in a year). So I had to come back here and comment because the timing was just too perfect :)

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#390

Post by AlwaysRock »

I have a semifinished website that does something similar. It lets you schedule reminders to reach out to people you care about at set intervals. The difference is that it texts you the reminder and will add in suggestions of what to reach out to them about.

I find that having something to say is just as hard as remembering to reach out.

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