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My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

mattlakeman.org

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Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#381
post #378

I'm seeing a lot of responses to this article and to some comments that are of the "just don't do drugs or drink alcohol, what's the big deal?" variety. To the people with that attitude I'd like to plainly say that you don't know what you're talking about. At all. Alcoholism in it's true form - physical alcohol dependency - is a terrifying and debilitating disease, that captures the very will of the afflicted. There…

"terrifying and debilitating disease"

The only country I know of that treats addiction like a disease is Portugal.

I don't know how this worked out for them but years ago I read that this had a really positive outcome because being rejected as an addict only makes things worse.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#382
post #15

I remember my own decade-long struggles with "failing to thrive" and I can assure one can turn your life around, but as author correctly noticed: "The puzzle of getting Jack onto his feet could never be solved because there was a missing piece – Jack wanting to get better".

To me, it rather feels like the opposite, like the "wanting to get better" explanation is a moralistic, post-hoc rationalization. I live a reasonably successful life, but many of the things that made it so are just luck. I was born in a reasonably affluent country, and my parents always provided good care and abundant financial support. I am pretty awkward, but smart enough to get through life. I am naturally interested in programming computers so I don't even need to make an effort to do it, and this happens to match one of the most demanded jobs. I am depressed/anxious but thankfully SSRIs work very well for me. I had no bad influences regarding drugs. To me, it seems those reasons have had a greater influence than "wanting to get better" could ever have. In fact, when you're depressed, there's not even a "wanting to get better" to be had - you're just reflexively pulled to bad feelings.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#383

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> we seem to have this huge moral hang up in the US about giving addicts drugs For many people, what you're describing all comes down to the law of love. It is not loving to give a person more of the thing that is destroying them. Perhaps free methadone would be a better option? EDIT: care to comment? I'd like to know why people disagree.

Free methadone isn't all that much better from that perspective. You come to your doctor and tell him, "I'm useless, my life's hardly worth living, I'll never amount to anything so I might as well take opiates to dull the pain" - is it then the doctors job to basically say, "yes, clinically your life is not worth living", even if it is a milder opiate? It's writing people off as lost cases. And many addicts WANT to b…

Plenty of people get on methadone maintenance and life productive lives. This keeps them from scoring dope in the streets and fueling the drug trade. Judges have demanded people stop taking methadone and some of these people have ended up dead from an OD soon after or in jail when they were fine on methadone. Demonizing methadone programs doesn't help anything.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#385

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a recent teetotaler and my quality of life is massively improved. It took me an unreasonably long time to realize many adult role models in my life (family, and then in my first significant professional workplace) were abusing alcohol. None of them would consider themselves alcoholic. A few of them were dependent at significant cost to their health, which I believe is easily classified as alcoholic. A few years a…

I stopped drinking because I realized it kept me from accomplishing things I wanted to accomplish. I think (based on my experience, can't speak for others) it's relatively easy to quit once you know why you want to quit. I don't much regret my drinking days because I had fun and met many people. But then I realized I want to do other things than just get drunk and get a hangover. I think, based on my experience again…

I appreciate your comment. And I found a similar experience in my life quitting smoking: once the decision was firm, and an understanding of the barriers it was erecting between myself and my goals, my resolve was total and quitting was easy. But you're a tad flippant about AA so let me share my thoughts as I have attended it many times - not for myself, but in support of an old school friend who was drinking himself to death some 10 years after we graduated. When he told me about his struggles in recovery I offered some assistance.

The people at AA are by and large deeply broken, and trying to slowly reassemble their lives without crumbling under the weight of the knowledge - largely gained in sobriety - of the massive damage they have done to themselves and others, and returning to hide in addiction. This harm often includes the repeated abuse of their loved ones throughout their addiction, and their guilt is enormous. If they appear stuck, consider that at least they are stuck in a place where they are not drinking, which in most cases is an enormous improvement.

If you do not prefer the religious component what I would say to you depends on whether you are an addict or not. If you are an addict I would say you are in dire need of a serious dose of humility: admitting you are powerless and that you need the help of a higher being fits that requirement. If you are not an addict, you should really not attack an institution whose sole purpose is to help addicts. Just smile and nod.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#386
post #378

I'm seeing a lot of responses to this article and to some comments that are of the "just don't do drugs or drink alcohol, what's the big deal?" variety. To the people with that attitude I'd like to plainly say that you don't know what you're talking about. At all. Alcoholism in it's true form - physical alcohol dependency - is a terrifying and debilitating disease, that captures the very will of the afflicted. There…

The absolutely accurate word used to describe that level of addiction in Christian theology is

"slavery"

Completely captures the idea of unmitigated subservience to the drug or alcohol master.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#388
post #378

I'm seeing a lot of responses to this article and to some comments that are of the "just don't do drugs or drink alcohol, what's the big deal?" variety. To the people with that attitude I'd like to plainly say that you don't know what you're talking about. At all. Alcoholism in it's true form - physical alcohol dependency - is a terrifying and debilitating disease, that captures the very will of the afflicted. There…

It is dependent on the person, of course. What you are saying is that it is not based on the power of will alone, which is true, but it is different for everyone.

I have been physically addicted to something that most people simply cannot get off once having touched. I did it. With regarding another substance: I go through forced withdrawals so I will not have to increase the dose. I do not experience cravings, I experience "I wish I had it, because it would make me more functional.". It does not interfere with my life negatively, so it is fine. I do not think that opiates are as "psychologically addictive" as they deem it to be, but then again, I never experienced euphoria from them at all. Perhaps were I to experience euphoria, I would crave it more. I dunno.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#389
post #327

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW, used needles were a common sight in my childhood and youth in the '80s/'90s in Italy too, and we didn't have such policy. I've literally not seen a used needle in at least a decade, but again, I'm not sure it's because of policy, it seems more likely that people have just, for the most cases, switched to different drugs.

I grew up near the heroin junkie city of The Netherlands (Heerlen) which also attracted a lot of junkies from the Aachen area. I got a fear of needles likely influenced by the needles on the streets. Thanks also to everyone mentioning which cities contain needles on the ground, I forgot about it being a possible thing (I would not visit such a city, and I live/work near Amsterdam, go figure). Getting my COVID-19 shot…

When faced with the prospect of losing a child to heroin based on his friend crowd, you can take action. My family moved to a different states to do a friend-group reset for one of my uncles. Kids are worth fighting for. Do whatever you have to.

Re: My experience of losing a friend to heroin (2020)

#390
post #381
post #378

I'm seeing a lot of responses to this article and to some comments that are of the "just don't do drugs or drink alcohol, what's the big deal?" variety. To the people with that attitude I'd like to plainly say that you don't know what you're talking about. At all. Alcoholism in it's true form - physical alcohol dependency - is a terrifying and debilitating disease, that captures the very will of the afflicted. There…

"terrifying and debilitating disease" The only country I know of that treats addiction like a disease is Portugal. I don't know how this worked out for them but years ago I read that this had a really positive outcome because being rejected as an addict only makes things worse.

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