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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#381

Post by throwaway98797 »

MeinBlutIstBlau wrote: post #97
JustARandomGuy wrote: post #73

I used to think like this, but then I saw the Star Trek TNG episode Tapestry [1] where the premise is much like this question. Picard accepts Q's offer to relive his life, and it turns out that even the negative things in Picard's life help to shape the good qualities he has. I consider my life to be much the similar: even the negative things or the things I wish would change have helped shape qualities that I would…

I think about that episode a lot in perspective of my life. I actually lived my life like Picard reliving his life. What really hit home was when he was transported back to the present and was questioned Troi and Riker about getting into command. They pretty much laughed at him. To me that really opened my eyes about who I am as a person. I liked being wise even young that it almost has created a retroactive effect m…

You aren’t “supposed” waste your youth. Those who waste can’t stand seeing others doing it differently.

It does not mean that you live right, but people’s opinions are often reflections of their own insecurities.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#382

Post by CaptArmchair »

croissants wrote: post #374
CaptArmchair wrote: post #318

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The quote makes more sense if you take a look at the life of its author, Sylvia Plath. [1] She struggled with mental health issues and depression most of her life. She excelled academically and she was driven to write, but at the same time, she struggled with her own self. Her life is marked by several suicide attempts. She married the poet Ted Hughes and moved around frequently during their short marriage. While she…

> She married the poet Ted Hughes and moved around frequently during their short marriage. My understanding is that Ted Hughes' contribution to Plath's mental health went beyond "mov[ing] around frequently during their short marriage" [1]. > In 2017, previously unpublished letters written by Plath between 18 February 1960 and 4 February 1963 accuse Hughes of physically abusing her months before she miscarried their s…

My intention was to provide terse framing for the posted quote, rather then muse at length about the author's life, let alone that of her erstwhile husband, in their own regard.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#383

Post by burntoutfire »

ReactiveJelly wrote: post #173
quickthrower2 wrote: post #17

It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?

For me? I wish I was happy. And I think some hard-to-treat mental illness is preventing my day-to-day happiness. When I feel envious of others, it's not only that they're rich and they travel a lot. They also have friends. They might even have a family they care about. They have hobbies and they have _something_ to do. A lot of them say they have problems with mental health, but you can't film a year-long depressive…

> The world seems clean-split between people who have everything and people who have it even harder than me, and I always just feel alone in this middle ground, where I have all the material elements to be healthy

You're not alone, there's plenty of people who prioritized career over all else and 10-15 years ended up with plenty of money but otherwise no life.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#384

Post by monkeynotes »

gfxgirl wrote: post #379
kodah wrote: post #84

Much of my life hasn't played out how I expected. I had dreams like many people in high school and none of them came true. Instead of finishing college I joined the military after the stock market collapse in 2008/9. Impressions were left on me throughout my early life that I only came to know as an adult. My family got sick, I ruined the relationship that I'd worked for, and at times I alienated people close to me o…

Obviously if you think digital nomad live is for you then go for it. For me I want friends and companionship. My experience is that's not what nomads get. Friends requires you to be near by and spend time when them else they drift way. Sure you can keep in touch online but you won't really be a part of their life nor them a part of yours if you're not there to share your life with them. The same goes for a long term…

If you are young enough there is time for a year or two on the road and time after to settle and build relationships.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#385

Post by coffeefirst »

tailspin2019 wrote: post #315
kodah wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a hard time believing that a computer scientist or engineer from a top school will not have an easier time gaining admittance into software engineering than someone not. Anyone not will always have a proverbial hill to climb. I would agree that continued success has diminishing returns from a degree. This is often the argument for designing interviews that reflect real world work. That said, my point was reall…

> I have a hard time believing that a computer scientist or engineer from a top school will not have an easier time gaining admittance into software engineering than someone not. I think you both may be right. I would imagine that the formal education makes it a bit easier to "get your foot in the door" in the first place, when you're competing "on paper" with others. But once you are in the industry, performance and…

It also depends what you're going for. It's true, if you want a career in the most prestigious silicon valley firms, they were interviewing recent CS grads at high prestige schools.

But outside of that world, I was honestly surprised how little it mattered that I didn't have a CS degree. In a lot of ways, if I saw how friends in other fields were progressing and what it took for them to get there, it was objectively easier to be an uncredentialed developer.

The broader point about stars aligning is absolutely correct.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#386

Post by jwilk »

mikhailfranco wrote: post #337

The strong divergence of paths in the state space of life, based on small random serendipities reminds me of the film: Run, Lola, Run https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130827/ On the general midlife crisis of regrets and time-running out, see: 2019 Wilkins–Bernal–Medawar lecture: Life begins at 40: the demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsnr.2020.000...

I also recommend Kieślowski's "Przypadek" ("Blind Chance"):

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084549/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxu7Z3uOLWg (full movie with English subtitles)

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#387

Post by robohoe »

SamPatt wrote: post #219
dorchadas wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I certainly hope so. But man, it's a sinking feeling when so many others seem to have it figured out at an even younger age. And knowing that the clock is ticking to actually go get those figs.

Here's a tip: Other people don't have life all figured out yet. They might think they do, but life never unfolds itself according to our plans. Never compare to others. You don't know what they're going through, or what they're going to go through. It took me until my mid 30s to realize just how impossible the idea of "having life figured out" really is.

Well put. Comparison is a thief of joy.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#388

Post by srean »

war1025 wrote: post #139
Felony_Fred wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Excellent break down of the concept by Jordan Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Toronto ( 9:18 ); Jordan Peterson Pick Your Sacrifice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5--W9mhC4zA

Youtube has been recommending a lot of Jordan Peterson to me lately. I know there are people who hate on him for basically misinterpretations of things he has said regarding transgender issues. But then on top of that, there are right wing people that hate him equally much and think he's basically a nonsense-spouting sycophant. I guess listening to the things he has to say, I think they are on par with the more usefu…

He often uses false dichotomies to advocate his views, for example, the left is against freedom and liberty, you have to decide if you are for the Gulag Archipelago society or a capitalistic society etc; as if they were the only two possible options.

I can possibly sift through YouTube to get to the videos where he claims these things, but it will not be the most palatable of chores.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#390

Post by kodah »

pram wrote: post #343
kodah wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a hard time believing that a computer scientist or engineer from a top school will not have an easier time gaining admittance into software engineering than someone not. Anyone not will always have a proverbial hill to climb. I would agree that continued success has diminishing returns from a degree. This is often the argument for designing interviews that reflect real world work. That said, my point was reall…

Sorry I'm in Austin, not Silicon Valley. There are a lot of enlisted veterans here in IT, but theres just a lot of veterans here in general so it might be exceptional ;P

Ah, yes. I restarted my career in Dallas as opposed to Austin, so I can definitely believe that. Maybe once I'm done touring the US that's where I'll go. Thanks for your perspective!
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