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I deleted my social media accounts

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Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#371

Post by watwut »

skeeter2020 wrote: post #205
zapzupnz wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> IMO, it's not "normal" to keep up with acquaintances and people from past times. Fully recognising that you said "IMO", I'll say that keeping up with acquaintances and people from the past is normal in my culture. Social media helps to make that more direct and easier to manage than the gossipy grapevine of yore. What's normal depends on your culture and context, of course, and I suspect that's not true in yours —…

if the goal is easier to manage and more direct, I'd argue it's not that important. Is your culture 20 years old? What did they do before? There are lots of things in the world where the work required IS the value. Think of a hand written note from your CEO; is it still valuable if it was their assistant and a picture of the signature? "keeping in touch" is not inheriently valuable; it's the effort required that make…

People before deliberately kept contact with acquitances over time and I recall older people regretting not keeping this or that contact.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#372

Post by HelloUsername »

arisbe__ wrote: post #356

Delete your HackerNews acct too, even this platform is beyond corrupted by bad actors and arrogant fools. The Web is 100% dead, killed by AI and poisoned human hearts.

> Delete your HackerNews acct too, even this platform is beyond corrupted by bad actors and arrogant fools. The Web is 100% dead, killed by AI and poisoned human hearts.

Yet you still have an account?

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#373

Post by Karrot_Kream »

kelnos wrote: post #309
veunes wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But it’s also nice to know what’s going on in people’s lives without needing a deep connection...

But why , though? If all you have is a shallow social-media connection with someone, why is it nice to know what's going on in their lives? We have a finite amount of time and energy to maintain connections with people. Even shallow connections eat into that. I'd rather spend that time and energy on deeper connections. And while it's customary to say "but sure, I guess other people have different views on this, so to…

Because sometimes you rekindle relationships that have drifted apart but you still stayed somewhat tethered to thanks to social media.

I rekindled a friendship with an old friend when I realized he was visiting the same foreign country as I was. Funny enough his wife is a mutual college friend of ours whom he had lost touch with but only met again after reconnecting on social media. I also reconnected with her through my friend.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#374

Post by watwut »

prmoustache wrote: post #340
exitb wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Due to some unknown circumstances this might not be true for this person, but it’s certainly true for a lot of people. Social media used in that context is effectively automating human relationships. It used to take effort to have a handful of friends, now you can have hundreds. Somewhere along the way though, friendship turned from active effort to passive status.

Are these really friends though? Or just some people you met and appreciated in the past?

People you met and appreciated in the past evolve into friends and friends evolve into people you met and appreciated in the past. Each person can change "the status" multiple times, depending on circumstances. However, if you decide that weaker relationships dont matter, they will never grow into friendships. They will die out.

And to large extend that is what is happening with "loneliness epidemics". We dont care to keep relationships and see it as negative. Then we dont have relationships and act all shocked.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#377

Post by Dharmakirti »

nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

Touché.

Such radical takes are always a hit on HN because they are essentially playing to the gallery. Leaving social media is futile if you don't take efforts to maintain contacts with your friends and families in other ways.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#378

Post by gadders »

tl;dr; - My left-wing social media bubble is compromised and there is a risk I may hear opposing view points. Please everyone watch as I performatively delete my accounts.

Honestly this is the tech equivalent of putting your hands over your ears and posting "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU." just in case someone says something you disagree with.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#379

Post by TheSpiceIsLife »

nkrisc wrote: post #357
austin-cheney wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. That seems so bizarre. Just 20+ years ago this sort of sympathy seeking broadcasting action was associated with mental health illness, like Munchausen Biproxy. Yes, back in the day if tragedy happened people would take deliberate effort to call each other.

I’m not on social media but people have been posting obituaries publicly in newspapers and such for centuries.

Scale matters.

You read the obituaries in your local paper, “oh, so and so has passed away”, you don’t know them particularly well, might or might not go to the funeral.

Posting it to social media, then thinking if whoever doesn’t contact you to… what? “Sorry for your loss”? “My condolences” … hurts your relationship with that person?

Call me old fashioned, but…

Is it narcissistic in here, or is it just me?

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#380

Post by latexr »

labster wrote: post #265
s1artibartfast wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you would find out at church or any number of the 3rd places you shared. Yes, that may have been better, but that doesn't mean deleting social media automatically sends you back in time. Doubly so if all of your friends are still on social media and using it as the primary form of communication. Imagine deleting your email and telephone in 1999 and saying "if they were really my friend, they would drive/fly to my hou…

In 1999 we had obits and mail, just like in 1899. Of course now all of the newspapers are gone (what’s black and white and dead all over?), so notifying the local community is much harder than 25 years ago. Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.

> Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.

This is the toupée fallacy mixed in with something else I haven’t yet put a name on.

Most vegans don’t brag about being vegan, just like most TVless people don’t brag about not having a TV. Some people are assholes and brag about anything, and some of those do the things you mentioned. It’s orders of magnitude more common to see people complaining about vegans (or, for an HN example, Apple users) than the actual bragging. It’s a meme, not the reality.

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