371–380 of 434 posts
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Tl;dr If you value your freedom to choose your own path don’t get married or have children.
More like don't marry a psycho and maintain communication...
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I'm talking about your comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34408305
So your issue is with me pointing out that saying what amounts to "Nothing you say can change my mind" isn't conducive to conversation? How would you say the OP adds to the discussion if what they say, almost by definition, is meant to shut down discussion? Or is your issue with pointing out HN guidelines? It feels like you're reading way more into my point than was actually there if you think I was criticizing anyth…
I've already explained this: "It's supposed to be about intellectual curiosity. Not questioning other people's life choices and giving unsolicited advice."
You've actually warped the direct quote "No one is going to talk me into BEING [emphasis mine] otherwise" into "Nothing you say can CHANGE MY MIND". The OP is talking about how they feel, what kind of person they are, what kind of life they intend to life. Not talking about some kind of belief about a subject X.
This conversation with you is becoming very tedious, and I'm repeating myself, so I doubt that I'll be continuing.
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> They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. A recovering alcoholic friend of mine once told me this syndrome is well known in 12 step programs. They call it "doing a geographical."
No matter where you go, there you are.
There are irredeemable places, and places that just don’t work for an individual. They key is knowing when it’s a problem instead of just running somewhere random and hoping it’ll fix all your issues.
Personally? I feel way better in sunny, dry climates. My mood improves a ton and I legitimately feel healthier. Right now I live in the exact opposite and I don’t like it.
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I mean I worked at Safeway, Trader Joe’s and a bunch of other terrible jobs from age 15-27. Low skill labor/service jobs are not bad at all when you don’t have much context. Sharing one bathroom with 4 roommates who party constantly would be a nightmare for me now, but as an 18 year old who it was a paradise. It’s all relative, and you are viewing their jobs through the lens of an engineer making 6 figures.
The "these are starter jobs!" argument is tired and invalid, because so many Americans north of 20 (30, even) are working those jobs. I almost want to say you should know I am not thinking about teenagers/college students in my previous comment.
Someone wouldn't spend 30 years working retail in utter misery the entire time, these are intelligent people who have agency. I spent ten years working these jobs and the people who were there for life were relatively content.
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When I told my family and friends my plan to leave my great FAANG job to retire early very few of the responses were positive. It was really disheartening after working so hard for so many years towards that goal.
Did you leave where you were living and retire to some other area? Most family and friends I’ve spoken to are completely fine and generally supportive. Even when I quit my $1m/yr job, people were like - “if it feels like prison and is making you miserable - do it. Life is too short.” I took up another job at a 60% paycut. That turned out to be terrible too. So now I’ve not been working since June and traveling and li…
My job was great. I was working from home (precovid), my manager always did his best to unblock me if I was blocked and let me go if I was going. My biggest fear was not liking being retired and having to come back to a worse job somewhere else.
Also, my friends and family are not in tech. My income to them was very significant.
> It’s hard to imagine finding anyone who isn’t supportive of retiring early and is actually your friend.
They do love me, that I know, but we've been indoctrinated with what success is in the u.s..
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So your issue is with me pointing out that saying what amounts to "Nothing you say can change my mind" isn't conducive to conversation? How would you say the OP adds to the discussion if what they say, almost by definition, is meant to shut down discussion? Or is your issue with pointing out HN guidelines? It feels like you're reading way more into my point than was actually there if you think I was criticizing anyth…
> So your issue is with me pointing out that saying what amounts to "Nothing you say can change my mind" isn't conducive to conversation? I've already explained this: "It's supposed to be about intellectual curiosity. Not questioning other people's life choices and giving unsolicited advice." You've actually warped the direct quote "No one is going to talk me into BEING [emphasis mine] otherwise" into "Nothing you sa…
I didn't misquote; I said "amounts to" in order to indicate I was paraphrasing because it seemed like it would benefit from rephrasing since it appeared we were talking past each other. Although what you've pointed out comes across as a difference without a distinction to me. Saying "No one is going to talk to me into BEING..." is just as apt to shut down healthy conversation.
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Holy God it's not like being mentally present, raising kids, or just doing chores around the house is valuable to your family. /s Such a toxic, capitalistic, misandronistic mindset.
It’s just a realistic mindset. If you’re a man and quit working - you’re in the fast track to being broken up with. I don’t know why we act like gender norms don’t exist.
They’re inconvenient, uncomfortable, and people want to pretend they don’t exist because there’s a one in a million exception.
In the real world a man who can’t provide is going to find out almost no woman will tolerate that, even if they claim otherwise.
Watching the linked video made me realise how out of step I feel with the rat race now that I work from home 100%. No more stressful commutes, no more suit and ties. I might step into a giant shopping centre once every 3 months, if that. I don’t see adverts anywhere except on my phone when I’m scrolling. I think I’m lucky because I get to live in a very walkable suburb in Melbourne AU. Feels less like a race, and mor…
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The point being made is that HN is meant for discussion; so I'd assume you wouldn't see any value in discussing that topic on the forum. I think it's fair to say there are certain principles (like the idea that a minor cannot consent to a sexual relationship with an adult, or that slavery is a moral wrong) can be viewed as immutable (or, at least immutable within a certain cultural context). However, germane to the d…
> A lot of those on here, I don’t listen to their input on what successs is.
> I will never be happy until I am climbing to the highest potential I can get to. No one is going to talk me into being otherwise.
What's being discussed is the definition of _success_, not happiness. And in fact, what the poster said is, this is what makes me happy and I'm not interested in anyone convincing me that shouldn't be what makes me happy.
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My family has no willingness to live in a LCOL location, or I probably would do that! But I’ll note that $40k/year isn’t nearly enough to live on for people in their 50s unless you’re unusually healthy or someone is subsidizing your healthcare. Healthcare gets much, much more expensive with age. My employer spends $20k towards my family’s overall healthcare consumption, and we still spend $10k out of pocket. Regardin…
I'm curious: Is "health tourism" a thing for Americans? Healthcare is extremely cheap where I live by comparison.
Depends on what kind of healthcare is required. I'm from a country with "extremely cheap" healthcare (Ukraine), but if you are diagnosed with something nasty you either shell out hundreds of thousands to go to a place with expensive healthcare to get that CAR T-cell therapy or you die.