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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#371

Post by heyitsanewacco »

Tcepsa wrote: post #341
matthewdgreen wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…

Definitely have been struggling with stuff along these lines since my late 20s or so. It's been kind of like a revelation-onion, slowly peeling back the layers of expectations from myself and from others and realizing "Hey maybe I don't have to try to keep up with the media that everyone else is watching," and "Oh, if I want I really can pursue !" and developing into "You know, maybe this managerial track really isn'…

Do it. If quiet introversion is your thing then I think you've got a good plan.

You don't have to be a Manager, and you don't have to be rich. Focus on being happy instead.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#372

Post by psyc »

chiefalchemist wrote: post #169
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

> I could try to focus on my hobbies, but you realize very quickly that to get good at anything, you need hundreds/thousands of hours. Be careful. You might regret this, or at least wished you'd done otherwise. Some years ago I bought a guitar. Worked at it initially - got distracted - and then put it aside. I now realize had I continued to pick it up everyday (or so) for say 20 to 30 mins I'd be able to play well en…

For this reason I don't say I've been playing piano for 40 years. I say I've been failing to practice piano for 40 years (and it shows).

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#373

Post by verisimilidude »

roci-ceres wrote: post #286
cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

how would one go about skipping directly to the thrid?

Serious personal tragedy can compress the middle phase into a very short period of time. Comedy is born where hope dies. Devastating disease or injury, a long jail sentence, a ruinous lawsuit, living through a war, etc. Most of the quick routes to lifelong wisdom are not desirable.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#374

Post by dgfitz »

robbedpeter wrote: post #369
nradov wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure you can. Learn from people wiser than yourself. A lot of them have written books.

And there's always Tony Robbins, Jordan Peterson, and a wealth of other self-help types. Picking any system is better than nothing, and gives you context for selecting good ones once you're familiar. Coast on other people's wisdom until you earn your own.

I would hesitate to endorse Robbins. He’s had a litany of sexual abuse claims against him, among other legal problems

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#376

Post by dcist »

stevenhubertron wrote: post #270

I turn 40 tomorrow and can’t help but think how I got my dad over the hill gifts when he turned 40 and thought he was so old. While I have accomplished most I have wanted to do 2 things have still alluded me.

What are the 2 things?

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#377

Post by MaximumYComb »

matthewdgreen wrote: post #208
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…

I was diagnosed with cancer at 30 and the initial prognosis wasn't great. Turns out it wasn't that bad and I easily beat it but it certainly changed my view on life. My 30's have been great. I get a lot of satisfaction from my family, my social life, my work, etc. I've made peace with where my life is at and I feel like I have control (to a degree) on where it's going.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#378

Post by ALittleLight »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

In a Lex Fridman podcast with Stephen Wolfram, Fridman observes that in some ways Wolfram and Elon Musk are alike. Wolfram agrees. The similarity is what Wolfram calls "Optimism" - a strong belief that not only can they accomplish great things but that they can do so relatively quickly. This is Elon Musk saying self-driving cars are going to happen by the end of the year, or Wolfram saying he's discovering the unified theory of everything.

The idea they touch on in the podcast is that this optimism helps people do great things. If you realized the thing you want is decades away, you might not even try. If you (incorrectly) think you are on the cusp of achieving some monumental goal then you may strive for it and, throughout those decades, you may keep believing you are on the cusp and keep striving until you finally reach your goal.

This is connected to the idea of "Depressive realism" - which is the idea that depressed people are often more realistic about the world. Perhaps, to be productive, it helps to have a somewhat delusional belief or confidence in your own abilities.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#379

Post by [deleted] »

cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

[deleted]

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#380

Post by kerrsclyde »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

I had my forth child 15 years after my other three, when I was well into my mid-30's.

I find that appreciate/savour/lament his growing much more than I did my others. Maybe this is because I am an older dad or maybe because I have grown 3 children already and I can appreciate how quickly those years pass.

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