Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says • Hacker News Board

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#371

Post by wingspar » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:05 PM UTC

LeonM wrote: post #203

I've tried a number of dating websites in the past year, and all of them are like this. First and foremost: No matter how hard they try to hide it, the male/female balance on all straight dating sites is completely off. I'd say it's about 80% male. So most of them fill with fake accounts to get the balance backs. The matching algorithms don't really exist, they are extremely primitive and usually optimised for engage…

I think it also depends on what your looking for.

At my small office of 10 people, where's 2 people that found matches on e-harmony, resulting in marriage.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#372

Post by larntz » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:08 PM UTC

stochastic_monk wrote: post #257

AdrianB1 wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know a few women that use Tinder: they are alone, late thirties and never got anything serious out of Tinder, but they use it to reassure their attractiveness by the continuous flow of likes they get. It is a morale booster, nothing more.

I know plenty of straight couples who are married or in committed long term relationships and met on tinder.

I met my wife on Bumble. :) Anecdata!

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#373

Post by magduf » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:11 PM UTC

LunaSea wrote: post #224

ausbah wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've liked Bumble's solution, make it so only woman can start a conversation if matched with someone.

And typically they don't or just write "hi" and wait for the men to answer.

The other thing some will do is just not say anything, and wait for you to use your one daily "extend", to show her you're really interested in her and not just right-swiping everyone.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#374

Post by landryraccoon » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:12 PM UTC

Blackstone4 wrote: post #340

abstractbarista wrote: post #335

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I love Bumble's concept because it attempts to complete what feminism espouses. Aren't we all about empowering women, and how we can all be capable in the jobs we do, and the lives we lead? It's a great thing and I believe in it. But... Women collectively stopped short of picking up an equal responsibility for initiating romantic or casual interest. As a guy, you are absolutely expected to make the first moves. That…

I agree with people being empowered regardless of gender. However...imagine an app where only men could contact women. I feel like certain groups would be outraged....what do you think?

Nobody would be outraged because the app would fail and nobody would be using or talking about it. We’re only talking about Bumble because their approach works in some sense.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#375

Post by derefr » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:12 PM UTC

mcv wrote: post #213

LeonM wrote: post #203

I've tried a number of dating websites in the past year, and all of them are like this. First and foremost: No matter how hard they try to hide it, the male/female balance on all straight dating sites is completely off. I'd say it's about 80% male. So most of them fill with fake accounts to get the balance backs. The matching algorithms don't really exist, they are extremely primitive and usually optimised for engage…

I think the most effective way to stand out is for women to contact men. With men spamming all women with meaningless messages, there's little point for women to respond to men contacting them. But if a man received a message from a woman, it's more likely they're real and not a fake profile, and that they're actually interested. But dating sites that create fake profiles and use all these dark patterns to try to con…

One simple technique a dating website could use to “disrupt” this market, without doing the only-women-can-contact thing, would be just to disallow men (or anyone) from sending messages with the same content as any message that person has sent previously.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#376

Post by magduf » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:12 PM UTC

dabbledash wrote: post #226

LeonM wrote: post #203

I've tried a number of dating websites in the past year, and all of them are like this. First and foremost: No matter how hard they try to hide it, the male/female balance on all straight dating sites is completely off. I'd say it's about 80% male. So most of them fill with fake accounts to get the balance backs. The matching algorithms don't really exist, they are extremely primitive and usually optimised for engage…

I think the users on eHarmony are mostly women.

I tried eHarmony for a little while. I finally gave it up because 1) it wasn't free and 2) most of the women were religious, so I got almost no dates on there. I've gotten most of my dates in the last year from CMB; that one doesn't attract as many religious people for some reason.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#377

Post by derefr » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:14 PM UTC

zapnuk wrote: post #219

mcv wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the most effective way to stand out is for women to contact men. With men spamming all women with meaningless messages, there's little point for women to respond to men contacting them. But if a man received a message from a woman, it's more likely they're real and not a fake profile, and that they're actually interested. But dating sites that create fake profiles and use all these dark patterns to try to con…

That's the idea behind bumble. AFAIK men and women rate each other similarly to Tinder (yes/no). However, when a match occurs, women have to send the first message. This doesn't solve the gender inbalance though. This problem is much more difficult to solve, and requires further homogenization (?) of the male and female gender role. This should be one of the more important challenges of our time. Lonelyness and sexua…

Given how most men just swipe right 100% of the time to find the women who swiped right on them, I’m surprised there isn’t a dating app that has just admitted to this and made the matching unilateral: men would be assumed to be okay with matching any woman, whereas women would have to swipe right on a dude to “match.” Then either party could contact. It’s sort of like Bumble’s attitude, just moved one step forward in the process.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#378

Post by winternett » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:15 PM UTC

LeonM wrote: post #203

I've tried a number of dating websites in the past year, and all of them are like this. First and foremost: No matter how hard they try to hide it, the male/female balance on all straight dating sites is completely off. I'd say it's about 80% male. So most of them fill with fake accounts to get the balance backs. The matching algorithms don't really exist, they are extremely primitive and usually optimised for engage…

I think the main differentiator is whether you pay for the dating site or not... These sites are all geared towards generating money from accounts. When you're operating on the free side, profiles are fake and you get limited interactions with people (and bots) just enough to keep you engaged. When you pay, it's still not great in terms of matchmaking and functionality, and most of the features now are meant to up-sell you, or to keep you paying monthly. Actually connecting people has really become the last concern of most sites.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#379

Post by bluntfang » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:15 PM UTC

abstractbarista wrote: post #335

Blackstone4 wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bumble's rule is that Men are not even allowed to initiate contact. This is gender-based. Given everything else happening in the world around gender discrimination, I find it interesting that a discussion around Bumble's practises has not come up. Maybe it's because as humans we are not always internally consistent with how we apply our logic to the world.

I love Bumble's concept because it attempts to complete what feminism espouses. Aren't we all about empowering women, and how we can all be capable in the jobs we do, and the lives we lead? It's a great thing and I believe in it. But... Women collectively stopped short of picking up an equal responsibility for initiating romantic or casual interest. As a guy, you are absolutely expected to make the first moves. That…

Are you trying to say that there's a responsibility for women to hit on you in order for feminism to not "stop short"?

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#380

Post by derefr » Thu, Sep 26, 2019, 2:18 PM UTC

Blackstone4 wrote: post #337

tdb7893 wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand the inconsistency, are you saying that Bumble discriminates against men somehow? The issue for the people I've talked to is the underlying asymmetry in dating that leads to Bumble, not Bumble itself. Edit: essentially I don't understand how men are getting hurt by Bumble, I know a lot of people that prefer it to something like Tinder so maybe that skews my perspective.

I feel like in Western society, a certain narrative is being pushed that everyone should be treated equally regardless of gender (i.e. Wimbledon winners should get paid the same amount). From what I can tell, it is selectively being used by certain groups when it suits them to push their agenda. However when observing the real world, it is clear that people are not treated equally based on gender (i.e. Bumble, restro…

“Man” and “woman” are role scripts, i.e. requests to be treated differently in traditions that have those gendered role-slots (e.g. chivalry, weddings, etc.), which society goes along with.

Society is fully willing to dispose of the scripts if you dispose of the gender identity. Just call yourself nonbinary and cultivate an androgynous appearance, and most of (the more cosmopolitan parts of) Western society—including the dating parts!—will literally stop caring about your gender.

(Come to think, I’ve never seen a 100% enby dating app. You could make one where—like France with religion—having a legible gender-presentation would be against the rules!)