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‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

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Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#371

Post by manfredo »

randyrand wrote: post #349
yholio wrote: post #73

> And with men I date, I feel pressure to make something of the relationship too soon (move in, get married, “I have to have kids in a couple of years”; fun times!). All the while still trying to be the sexpot 25-year-old I thought I was until what seemed like a moment ago. It sounds like going from one end of the spectrum (aventuros, yolo) to the other (a family, fast), all while punching above their weight, so to s…

This tangent of ripping on guys more attractive than you seems incredibly irrelevant. At no point does the author say she dated men with "good looks, relative success, social skills etc." You just sound grouchy, making excuses for yourself. Also, attractive men don't want a life of serial monogamy either.

I didn't read this as "ripping on guys" in any way. It seemed more focused on the perspective of women, and the shifting marketplace of relationships as people start looking to form a family. I don't think this was portraying or referencing attractive men in any negative light, and I'm curious as to why you interpreted the above comment on this way.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#372

Post by brandonmenc »

nostromo wrote: post #10

I think the parents of many 20 and 30-somethings played a role in so many young(ish) adults failing to launch. American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families: nobody owes you anything, plan for a rainy day, find a partner you love and commit to them, work hard, cherish friends and family even when it's difficult, etc. I think parenting has ov…

> American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families.

My parents and most of their peers got married right out of high school just to get out of the houses their 1st generation Catholic parents filled to the brim with like, seven or eight semi-neglected kids.

A lot of them didn't make it out of those environments unscathed, and there's no guarantee they learned how to save money or hunker down for the long haul with a partner because of it.

It's easy to look back on those times with rose-colored glasses, especially if you weren't there.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#373

Post by sheepmullet »

amyjess wrote: post #297
MRD85 wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men don't have the same time pressure to start a family with many starting at 45+. The other thing is men often become more attractive to women as they age due to things like financial success while the same can't be said for women.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I meant that women who don't become interested in having a long-term committed relationship until later in life have the option of dating men who followed the same path as them, as well as the option of dating divorced men.

> option of dating men who followed the same path as them

No they don’t. A 35 year old man can date a 25 year old woman whereas the reverse is a lot less common.

As such the 35 year old man has a lot more options than a 35 year old woman.

> as well as the option of dating divorced men.

Divorced men tend to have very different life goals and expectations than early 30s women.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#374

Post by manigandham »

What's missing is meaning in life. It provides a sense of purpose, a system of values, and goals to strive for. If it's not family, then I recommend volunteering somewhere. Helping others is incredibly fulfilling and usually works for just about everyone who is in this position.

Also, there are billions of people with far worse lives than you can imagine. Humans just like you and me that live in misery and will never experience a fraction of the freedom that you enjoy. That thought alone should be a sobering realization that your life is not that bad, and it's time to get up and do something.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#375

Post by the_clarence »

GlenTheMachine wrote: post #145

This probably won't be popular, but what the hell. I feel like, if you strip away the outward trappings and dogma, this is what religion is good for. Not in a "believe in Jesus" or "trust in God" kind of way, but in a "how to orient your life" kind of way. Which is to say, the actually useful portion of religion generally teaches that your best life is probably not focused on you. It isn't about finding yourself, or…

As an atheist I’ve been thinking about that lately and I think I can agree. It looks like in the US nobody cares about the poor people and the homeless and the church is pne of the last organization trying to help people (and convert them, but still).

As long as the US will demonize socialism, people who have nothing won’t get help from the government.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#376

Post by manfredo »

jf- wrote: post #260
MRD85 wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men don't have the same time pressure to start a family with many starting at 45+. The other thing is men often become more attractive to women as they age due to things like financial success while the same can't be said for women.

They probably shouldn’t though, being an old man when your kids are teenagers isn’t very fair on anyone.

I'm not sure this is always the case, starting a family later has a swath of benefits such as more life experience on on the part of parents, greater financial stability, and usually more ability to take time off. Both my parents quit their jobs and raised kids full time when my sister was born, and they were largely able to do so because they had kids later than average.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#377

Post by VLM »

She's in the gaslit generation; we tell you to live like a college youth; until you can't anymore; then "go away" for the next self destructive generation to arrive and take her place. What happens to the human debris? Who cares.

If you don't have a plan for your life other than reliving being a college freshman over and over every year, when you eventually hit the wall or get tired of the lifestyle with no way out, it'll shatter you, like the woman in the linked story.

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#379

Post by [deleted] »

GlenTheMachine wrote: post #145

This probably won't be popular, but what the hell. I feel like, if you strip away the outward trappings and dogma, this is what religion is good for. Not in a "believe in Jesus" or "trust in God" kind of way, but in a "how to orient your life" kind of way. Which is to say, the actually useful portion of religion generally teaches that your best life is probably not focused on you. It isn't about finding yourself, or…

[deleted]

Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

#380

Post by VLM »

GlenTheMachine wrote: post #145

This probably won't be popular, but what the hell. I feel like, if you strip away the outward trappings and dogma, this is what religion is good for. Not in a "believe in Jesus" or "trust in God" kind of way, but in a "how to orient your life" kind of way. Which is to say, the actually useful portion of religion generally teaches that your best life is probably not focused on you. It isn't about finding yourself, or…

I think what you're talking about isn't so much a religion as a culture, and we're indoctrinated to actively avoid and make fun of that, so ...
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