Earlier quoted context omitted.
and miss out on all the awesome aspects of the language/environment?
What are "all the awesome aspects"? The being embedded in the web server and the benefits that brings I understand. The rest?
The documentation is really good. A model for programming language documentation.
Process per request is really simple to understand and scale. Your servers almost never crash completely, you don't get threads silently dying or run out of memory or thrash the CPU doing garbage collection.
It runs like a tank. It will, for better or worse, just keep running when more fussy languages would have seg faulted or shut down
The tooling, framework and libraries are very advanced and in active development
It's easy to train a programmer in php
It's close to the c library
The combination of a very flexible array/map and functional programming tools like map and reduce let you write pretty declarative code and development can be very fast
Php storm
Facebooks replacement runtime
I work with Java and Scala now which I also love but development is much slower and more expensive, whilst deployment is cheaper (less hardware for same request throughout)