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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#361
post #172

Exclusion is terrible practice.

I used to really believe this too, but I stumbled across the "Five Geek Social Fallacies" and it really helped me understand why I was so apprehensive to exclude others. Some people just don't mesh well, and trying to force it will just ruin the entire vibe. You don't have to throw all your volatile or otherwise abrasive friends to the side, but it's important to understand that some friends are better one-on-one as…

>it's important to understand that some friends are better one-on-one as opposed to group gatherings

sounds like a great origin story for someone who finds out they aren't invited to any parties and then self-exiles themself from the group. Or society as a whole.

The article says as much:

>when nothing smacking of social selectiveness can be discussed in public, people inevitably begin to organize activities in secret. These conspiracies often lead to more problems down the line, and the end result is as juvenile as anything a seventh-grader ever dreamed of.

I wish people could just be direct and tell Cat Piss Man to take a good shower and clean their literbox more often instead of playing these mindgames. If they don't correct their behavior, then sure. You need to cut them off. But in my experience around neurodivergence, it's much easier to be upfront about these things than avoiding it.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#362

Earlier quoted context omitted.

db meters are available for purchase, which helps with the problem of not being sure how loud is loud while in an altered state of consciousness and need something to compare the volume to.

That could be a party killer, though. I understand the neighbors issue, especially if you are throwing the party in a flat, but getting reminded "you are making too much noise" while you are having a great time with that noise, IME will totally kill the party.

more or less than having the party shut down for noise complaints though?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#363
post #337

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Except for red Solo cups. That's absolutely a real American party thing. Source: Went to college in the US, also have been to stores in America where these cups are sold.

No one's saying nothing at all from the movies is real

Hey look, someone’s auditioning to be the party’s QA department!

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#364

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know about the Netherlands, but having spent a bit of time in Germany, you may be underestimating the mount of party planning that is ingrained into the various European cultures. From an outside perspective, even fairly casual German gatherings feel like they are orchestrated with a level of precision that would do a military campaign proud - but the Germans I was with don't really seem to notice this (likel…

I don’t think this is a specific cultural thing, in my experience some people host more curated gathering, some more relaxed and informal - doesn’t matter where you’re from. People just tend to think the way their social group does it is the ‘norm’.

I think there's a cultural element to how much of it people will know to do without being explicitly told what to do.

In the US successful gatherings tend to require a fair bit of wrangling - I've been to more than one potluck where everyone showed up with roughly the same dish...

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#365
As an occasional organiser of techno parties point 21) made me gently laugh. After decades of experience I’ve resorted to:

1) get the best quality, ultra high headroom, system money can rent

2) get a high quality monitoring system for the DJs

3) find a venue as remote as I can

4) go turn down the master volume on the main desk every now and then :)

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#366

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Still worth it. I say this a bit tongue in cheek, but a bit of rowdiness once in a while does good to the soul. Sure. You still need to be careful, but a world without these experices feels a bit bland.

There are a lot of ways to have fun that don't risk brain damage. If you can't imagine them that proves your lack.

Would you say lack of imagination is proof of brain damage?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#367
post #83

Being brutally honest, I wouldn't be too keen to attend a party from someone that writes up about their 21 party facts lol. This sounds more like a meticulous plan to maximize human socialization than an actually just fun party :)

I am reminded of an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where he meticulously plans a party with a huge list of scheduled, mandatory activities, and hovers around guests and tries to direct them on how to talk to each other and have fun. No one has fun until he leaves to perform errands and then gets locked out of his house. I wonder how much of that episode's plot was intended as a morality tale for children, and it's funny to consider that children's cartoon animators may have wide discretion to create stories meant to instruct kids on issues the animators have personally experienced. It's funny to imagine someone like Stephen Hillenburg or Derek Drymon or another writer going to a party that wasn't very fun and then saying "we need to let the future generation know that they shouldn't be too authoritarian about their parties", haha.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#368
post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Better, I've found, for compelling people to interact with others they may not know, is to assign seats. This enables separating couples or others with a preexisting connection. The act of eating offers the benefits of a subject to…

Is it not rude to separate couples?

probably depends, but couples already have all the other times they can be with each other

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#369
post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So I live in Amsterdam and my friends are from about 6 European countries and we do the same as the Brazilian guy. Imagine being in the playground as a kid. You just are there. And if its fun, its not fun because of you, its fun because of the group which is there. So are parties, they just "are". All these rules you guys have appear to me like watching a movie about a psychopath lining up pens in the living room.

It's the same with dating. The American rules about first dates, second dates, the exclusivity talk etc. is just not how it works in Europe. Maybe with online dating it moves towards it, but the regular way is much more informal and low pressure.

I'm American and have no clue wtf you're talking about

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#370
post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

House parties are more common in America, so that may be a big reason. A party in that context isn't just about gathering people, it's bringing people into your own living space to be judged upon. And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented.

> And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented.

just like every other claim on this thread, that depends on who you spend time with, and you can find the same behavior in literally any country

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