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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#361

Post by layer8 »

falaby wrote: post #284
layer8 wrote: post #247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> > What's the point of it? > Live for others. What’s the point of that? They are a blip in the universe just the same. Adding one level of indirection doesn’t solve the existential problem.

Screw the universe. People need help, and you can give it to them. It might not be "existential", but at least it's real.

Living for yourself is also real. The point is that if one doesn’t feel meaning and purpose in one’s life due to existential awareness, then moving the focus to other people doesn’t help with that.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#362

Post by kqr »

seanw444 wrote: post #222
bognition wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it possible you’re setting your threshold for meaningful change to high? I have friends that have made it their life’s work to get their city to install more bike lanes. They’ve been pushing for a decade and the city has installed a few lanes in particularly dangerous places. They have likely saved a bikers life. I have friends that volunteer at a crisis center and all they do is talk with people who need help. Th…

> that don’t require you to have millions of dollars or to go into politics. These sound like the same thing to me.

And if you dislike that, you can work on solving that! It doesn't take grand gestures. Start by reducing the level of plutocracy where you work, for example. People will remember what that feels like and bring it over to their political opinions.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#363

Post by Draiken »

cupofpython wrote: post #329
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

life coach here. your feeling is valid and there is no 'answer'. It sounds like you believe you have to actually do something in order to have a point this feeling demands deep personal reflection and / or extended authentic conversation with someone who knows you well -- nothing a text forum will be able to give you so do not be discouraged if you read a hundred posts of advice and none of them do anything for you.…

> Is it possible that you have no goals and see no point in anything you do because you have nowhere to go but down? You are safe. You are fed. You did it. Maybe it is time to kick your feet up and enjoy.

I think that's quite possible. In my view to go up now the cost is very high, either energy-wise or time-wise, with little benefit. As an example I could get more money but not enough to retire in the short term (unless I'm extremely lucky).

Looking at expectations put on me from where I came from, I'm light years ahead, so I should be feeling like "I made it", but I don't.

> Maybe it is time to kick your feet up and enjoy.

Haha, I have to find a way to enjoy it somehow. Unfortunately I have this crippling feeling of not doing enough that seems to drain away enjoyment of the moment.

Thanks for the reference, I'll make sure to check it out

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#364

Post by kqr »

Draiken wrote: post #163
randomsearch wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What's the point of it? Live for others. You (and I) are incredibly fortunate. We have our basic needs taken care of. We have more than that. There are many, many, people in the world who have problems that you can help solve. That could be - spending time with a lonely elderly person, volunteering with the homeless, building a website for a charity that can't afford to pay for a great one, building a startup that…

It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try

Others have said it but I'll say it again. You need to recalibrate what you think of as meaningful change.

Contrary to popular belief, history was never written by great men.

You might associate a few individuals with the great movements of history, but the people you know by name only echoed the popular opinion of their time.

The real wheels of history inch forward when common people influence their neighbours and children to strive for something a little better than the status quo.

Do something. Take the smallest step that is recognisably in the direction you want society to go.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#365

Post by nnoitra »

cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

I so wish it was as simple as this. Unfortunately limited time means that doing something implies not doing something else.

Time is the bottleneck and not motivation or whatever. It's finite and we run out of it before we even realize it pursuing ephemeral things.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#366

Post by paulmd »

kirso wrote: post #356
daSn0wie wrote: post #211

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The only point of life is whatever you make it. Life's your own video game and you set the rules of what defines winning or losing it. There are definitely lots of external pressure trying to get you to align to what their game is, but I think you've come to realize that those rules aren't the rules you want to live by. I felt the same way in my 30s. The thing that changed it for me was when my father passed away, my…

Actually this is correct but something that supports this point is the: Cosmic insignificance therapy - https://tim.blog/2021/12/15/the-liberation-of-cosmic-insigni... In the end, everything is pointless and it can be either depressing or liberating. So all you described - just do the things that you feel are enjoyable or meaningful - it doesn't have to be a startup, it can be as much as caring for elderly or even ru…

> Cosmic insignificance therapy

Heh, reminds me of the Total Perspective Vortex.

https://sites.google.com/site/h2g2theguide/Index/t/114333

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUJuv6qL_HA

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#367

Post by SuoDuanDao »

banannaise wrote: post #299
slowroll wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like the idea of “the universe has no plan for you” really didn’t help considering you needed therapy

Show me someone who doesn't need therapy and I'll show you someone who is delusional about the stability of their mental and emotional state.

It's this kind of attitude that turns a lot of us off the field. When I hear an absolutist statement focused on ingroup versus outgroup I feel an immediate revulsion for the memeplex producing it. To be optimistically curious towards something that other people find brings them mental and emotional stability I need to see some acknowledgement that they have not tried and are therefore not qualified to dismiss every alternative.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#368

Post by Hallucinaut »

sangnoir wrote: post #309
godfreyantonell wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nice comment. I am in my 50's and a sysadmin for a large corporation. I absolutely love helping people when I can. I am gifted so that I can give. When I'm gone it won't be long before I'm completely forgotten. That's the way it is. Anyone who is finding life too bleak would do well to seek professional help.

> When I'm gone it won't be long before I'm completely forgotten. _Everyone_ will be completely forgotten. I think the obsession with "legacy" is a fools errand. Making a positive impact yo those around you, big or small, _for the sake of it_ is a more reasonable approach, IMO. Even the most successful person will be forgotten[1] within a few generations. 1. Forgotten as a person, but possibly reduced to a name and a…

I think we're the first generations where this won't be true actually. Micro-documenting your life and opinions, where overtly on Twitter, pseudo-anonymously here, or in emails and countless mobile photos and videos will add historical colour we can only dream of for past generations.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#369

Post by robbedpeter »

nradov wrote: post #355
Sevii wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can't skip to wisdom.

Sure you can. Learn from people wiser than yourself. A lot of them have written books.

And there's always Tony Robbins, Jordan Peterson, and a wealth of other self-help types. Picking any system is better than nothing, and gives you context for selecting good ones once you're familiar. Coast on other people's wisdom until you earn your own.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#370

Post by [deleted] »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

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