These calculators don't reflect the reality/absurdity of the current economy. Anecdotal, but I bought a house in eastern California last year for $600k, now Zillow says it's worth $835k. Also, I'll unlikely ever be able to afford a house in the Bay Area, even though I make $220k/year at a company there. Still don't know what I'll do if my employer makes us return to the SF office in a few months. Relatedly, a ~70 yea…
If you had a significant other with a similar upper middle class wage, e.g., $220k * 2 = $440k you could probably swing it with more breathing room. You are wise to avoid the burden, in the chance you technically qualify for the mortgage but barely so in the Bay Area (e.g., leaving you house poor). The fact that home affordability requires a HH income in the top 2-3% is, to put it mildly, highly concerning. It makes…
$200k is like 130k take home pay after taxes, (which is just shy of $11k/month). 20% down on a million dollar house is 200k. If you're able to put $4k/month towards a future down payment, that's 50 months, or just over 4 years. If you were making that when you are 30 years old, if nothing changes from then (which it won't), you can buy a million dollar house before you're 35.
If you put it into stocks instead of holding it liquid for those 4 years, then before long term cap gains tax (California and Federal), then you'll need closer to $300k. Which still seems like it should be doable before you're 40. (If you bought AAPL at the height of the 2008 bubble, you'd be doing quite well today.)
Does it seem reasonable to me that housing is this expensive in the Bay area? No! Does it seem feasible for someone who's software development career is going well, to be able to afford a house, eventually, if they make that a priority? Quite.
There are many directions someone making $200k/yr at 30 can choose to go with their money, and I don't begrudge anyone the agency to make their own decisions. But let's not say that someone making those kinds of wages can't afford a house. They may prefer to use DoorDash for every meal and extravagant vacations instead of buying a home, but people who make less money are forced to make much tougher, more existential choices on how to spend their money.