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Who Americans spend their time with, by age

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Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#361

Post by faeyanpiraat »

crgwbr wrote: post #303
an_opabinia wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Everyone woke up in the morning and cooked for each other I am not passing judgement here. The women woke up in the morning and cooked for everyone else. > It was so nice to have that much support around all the time. People have written about this in books that are now almost four decades old. Everywhere women entered the workforce in a highly compensated way, this arrangement came to an end, the number of childre…

It’s only crappy work if you choose to view it that way. I am a man and I have a full time career that I enjoy a lot. But despite that I still find cooking for my family to be far more rewarding than almost any aspect of my job.

I think the crappyness comes from having to do it all the time, without choice.

My SO cooks like 65% of the time, but it’ nice for her being able to just rely on me when she is overwhelmed, or just doesnt feellike it.

I believe everyone should learn to cook to some degree.

You can save money and eat more healthy foods that way compared to takeouts / fastfood (which would be the alternative if your SO wont cook and you cant)

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#362

Post by generj »

tubularhells wrote: post #299
Fnoord wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. That depends on the definition being used [1]. IMO, using this definition of governing [2], governing is taking responsibility, we do it all the time, and it is tough at times. An example of governing is deciding when to change your baby's diaper. You take responsibility to put in the time and effort (which boils down to money) to keep t…

This is really autistic. Stop arguing semantics, this is not a linguistics forum.

Please don’t use autistic as an insult.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#363

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

barry-cotter wrote: post #346
emptysongglass wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You do realize that capitalism co-opts everything and that women entering the workforce led to two people now earning what a single person used to? What's more, I'm not really sure the women cooking in those villages hate it as much as you put on them. That's not to say we don't all deserve self-determination but the story we were sold, of ultimate freedom for everyone, is just a new wage-slavery for everyone. Lest y…

> You do realize that capitalism co-opts everything and that women entering the workforce led to two people now earning what a single person used to? Two people earn a lot more than one person used to by any material metric. People don’t feel any richer because any surplus gets eaten up by positional goods. It’s not enough to have a perfectly reasonable 1950s house. You must have one twice as big, like your friends.…

If this is your impression of the life lived by, and motivations of, the average two income household then I implore you to get out of your blatant little bubble as soon as you possibly can and try to connect with a variety of actual people out living life.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#364

Post by semicolonandson »

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #20

I wonder what are the strategies folks can adopt to see that they don't become victims of loneliness.

My personal strategies are - investing in group hobbies that remain doable later in life (e.g. My granny in her 80s can't play piano anymore due to arthritis, but still sings in 3 choirs) - making it a yearly goal to make a new friend every year, so as to fight off attrition

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#365

Post by selestify »

e40 wrote: post #312
selestify wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do we decide what shared body of knowledge to pass on when, as you say, all the books give wildly different advice?

I personally think we need to value the idea of that body of knowledge, as a culture. Then, we can start to compare and contrast styles, etc. The whole tiger mom/dad routine is so horrible for children. The lack of autonomy can have dire consequences later in life, and I think we're just starting to see that. I know my tendency is to treat this like a problem, which needs data and analysis, refinement and tuning. But…

Yeah, that’s fair. It strikes me as interesting that this isn’t a solved problem yet after millennia of civilization...

Do you have any pointers off the top of your head for resources on the negative effects of tiger parenting, or about parenting in general? No worries if not, I just figure it would save me a lot of effort in my own research

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#366

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

stingraycharles wrote: post #219
conradev wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My grandma sold her house and we used some of the money to convert our garage into an apartment for her so that she could live with our family. Certainly not everyone can do this but living with your parents/grandparents as they get older does seem like a reasonable “fix” to me.

We’re going to be buying a house with my family, mother and her husband in 2021. What struck me as interesting is the responses of my friends to these plans; how much trouble this would cause me, that taking care of your parents is a huge effort, that they would never do this, etc. I consider this attitude a good example of why things are the way they are. But I take pride in going against the norm here.

This is a very modern and very North American type attitude to hold tbh, and I'm not convinced the whole "everyone should have their own wage slave shed to themselves far away from their loved ones" isn't as much a marketing trope as "diamonds are a girl's best friend".

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#367

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

asiachick wrote: post #347
ThoreauBred wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you read the bottom half of the linked website? It clearly states more alone time does not necessarily mean they’re lonelier as individuals. Perhaps as a species this nuclear family model we have to start with should really be giving way in later life to more autonomy? After 20+ years being parented and pushed into team work, is it so terrible to consider enabling free agency and experience? What makes me sad is…

> After 20+ years being parented and pushed into team work, is it so terrible to consider enabling free agency and experience? This is an entirely western or American POV. I have no idea if it came from media (movies/books telling us we should move out as soon as possible) or from advertising (because if you can get people to move out you sell more stuff. More housing, more cars, more every day appliances etc...) In…

>I have no idea if it came from media (movies/books telling us we should move out as soon as possible) or from advertising (because if you can get people to move out you sell more stuff. More housing, more cars, more every day appliances etc...)

That's my instinctive suspicion personally. The Western world has long devolved into having "CONSUME" blasted at you 24/7 from 360 degrees so I've no doubt that the above is any different.

Surprised we're not being pushed into 𝚌̶𝚛̶𝚎̶𝚊̶𝚝̶𝚒̶𝚗̶𝚐̶ ̶𝚊̶𝚗̶ ̶𝚎̶𝚟̶𝚎̶𝚛̶ ̶𝚐̶𝚛̶𝚎̶𝚊̶𝚝̶𝚎̶𝚛̶ ̶𝚐̶𝚛̶𝚊̶𝚙̶𝚑̶ ̶𝚘̶𝚏̶ ̶𝚌̶𝚘̶𝚗̶𝚜̶𝚞̶𝚖̶𝚎̶𝚛̶𝚜̶ having more babies... although that corporate thirst is probably better satisfied with mass immigration and therefore more immediate dollars.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#368

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

k__ wrote: post #169
mcguire wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Silicon Valley operates on a constant influx of 22-year-olds.

They should try to outsource to Amish communities then.

If tech companies really cared about diversity they'd have Amish representation in the product design process.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#369

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

ed25519FUUU wrote: post #136
disgruntledphd2 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with your general point, but much of the growth in life expectancy is driven by the massive drops in infant mortality. In general, modern advances have maybe added 10+ years to an average adult lifespan. The quality of the added lifespan is harder to assess though.

Even that increase in life expectancy is dubious, consider this passage from Psalms written in 1489 bc , which can basically be said about Americans today. > Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures

I'm becoming more convinced that the whole "but everyone's living longer!" thing is nothing more than another gaslight attempt to ensure we continue to love our betters.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#370

Post by cmdshiftf4 »

leesalminen wrote: post #26
dcolkitt wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Western nuclear family is a very unnatural social arrangement. Anthropologists have found that in most hunter-gatherers, the average infant is held at one point or another by 30+ people in a typical day. The nuclear family has the twin downsides of putting tons of stress on parents of young kids, who shoulder the entire childcare burden, and deprives a lot of grandparents, aunts, cousins, and others of meaningful…

I’m the parent of a young child and I definitely feel some sort of internal pressure to be all babies all the time. I feel pretty guilty leaving him with anyone other than my wife. All I can think to myself is whether what I’m doing is really worth it compared to spending time with the baby.

>All I can think to myself is whether what I’m doing is really worth it compared to spending time with the baby.

Ever think that your baby may be thinking to themselves "Man, am I ever going to get a break from this guy?" also?

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