351–360 of 456 posts
The part that seems to need emphasis is that the author happened to walk inside this neighborhood cafe while just walking his dog. To many Americans, the idea of just walking into a cafe is probably alien (you need to drive everywhere).
It's not just the driving that sucks, but the ugly environment it created.
Lately I've found that cafes (and also some very popular restaurants) blast music at rock concert levels of volume. That seems to be a requirement to compete, for some reason. I waited at a cafe last year while my partner was at a meeting, and when I left (after about 90 minutes) my ears were ringing very loudly and that continued overnight. Not really a place for meditative thinking. The next time I had to go there,…
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> You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. I had to sit still a lot as a child, since I wasn't allowed to have friends or go anywhere. I read a lot, but a lot of the time I was to tired or bored to read, so I'd just defocus my eyes, and disappear into my imagination. It would look like I'm reading, so I wouldn't get punished. In hindsight I'm not sure it's terribly healthy, as I now…
> I now find it impossible to put up with boring people (which is basically everybody who has time to sit around chatting, almost by definition). You're being judgemental to call them boring. Plus widening your opinions to be a "definition" sounds like an unhealthy worldview. You likely appear boring to others. Then again I have a saying I use when anyone says they are bored - I say they are boring!
This is a very clever come back, I wonder if it might qualify as the best thought terminating cliché I've seen this year!
I never say I'm bored. The universe is too interesting a place to be bored. I did mean it, that most people, individually, are what I find boring. I'd rather withdraw into my mind and work on something interesting, whether it's about figuring something out, or trying to design something. The painful part is pretending to care long enough to get away without somebody getting butthurt.
The "almost by definition" is that the people I find interesting are usually busy doing interesting things, so the boring ones are the only regular people at social gatherings. I do not go to those anymore.
Staycation is where it's at. As Marcus Aurelius already said, retire not to pompous resorts, but to thine inner truth and peace.
Marcus Aurelius likely quipped about pompous resorts during one of his many four day public holiday visits to Alsium (a pompous seaside resort town), although he was known to write at length about the work he did on holidays rather than the time he spent on the beach.
As for retirement .. not a thing for Marcus. He died* age 58 in his military quarters while on active tour of Roman provinces (in either Austria or Serbia apparently).
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>I think that many people feel like their lives suck in some way that they can't define or explain, and they want something to blame it on, and their phone is an excellent target. They will blame anything but the billionaires. But to be a devil's advocate: I think most phone issues arise from a child's use of them. They don't have the discipline to put a phone down, and then it enshrines habits that last into adult h…
You can do all of these things outside the hour you spent at a cafe. Constant availability is partly self-imposed.
And of course,culture.30 years ago, if your kid got hurt you wouldn't be considered an ignorant parent if the school took an hour to get a hold of you on a phone. They may even call your work and have that relayed over to you. Now, good luck even having the chance to speak to a human that can receive the message, let alone relay the message to the right branch and team to you.
Also, the reason people feel comfortable with dogs is because, you don't need to act or talk in way to impress the dog, while technically not being alone. You don't get this freedom while being with people, unless you are the boss of the gang. The lack of freedom is usually offset of by the benefit of sharing, laughs and a feeling that you have achieved your goal of impressing others.
Not at all. I've never been a huge cafe person, so I don't have much firsthand experience with this, but I do recall a time before laptops and cell phones when people would go to cafes to just read the newspaper or a magazine. Heck, some cafes even had the daily paper there for you to borrow if you wanted.
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> I now find it impossible to put up with boring people (which is basically everybody who has time to sit around chatting, almost by definition). You're being judgemental to call them boring. Plus widening your opinions to be a "definition" sounds like an unhealthy worldview. You likely appear boring to others. Then again I have a saying I use when anyone says they are bored - I say they are boring!
> Then again I have a saying I use when anyone says they are bored - I say they are boring! This is a very clever come back, I wonder if it might qualify as the best thought terminating cliché I've seen this year! I never say I'm bored. The universe is too interesting a place to be bored. I did mean it, that most people, individually, are what I find boring. I'd rather withdraw into my mind and work on something inte…
That is certainly the best back-handed compliment I have received in the last hour. Thank you. Your writing molests me.
> is that the people I find interesting are usually busy doing interesting things, so the boring ones are the only regular people at social gatherings.
That comes across to me as a refreshingly honest self-centred view.
You recall me of a friend who does contemporary dance as part of a troupe. I find them interesting - however I also find sewage plants and stink beetles interesting.
What's I'm trying to say is that finding people interesting (or boring) probably says more about you than it does about them.
The smartest people I know seem to be interested in everything. I often find people interesting for reasons I would find difficult to admit to them. I'm not that smart.
I find myself boring - contemptuous through familiarity?
And yeah, I'm rather cynical about "norms" too.
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It can be at first until you get used to it. You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. Ask yourself questions. Listen to yourself. This is a bit like excercise. When you first start, 30 minutes of exercise can be torture as your is out of shape and not used to the effort. Keep doing it and it feels better and you feel better. Work on becoming a source of thoughts rather than a consum…
People talk about this with exercise and I’ve never understood it. As someone who has exercised continuously for years - it has never gotten better. Which, to me, makes sense because you’re supposed to always be pushing yourself. You’re not supposed to ever feel comfortable or feel better from it. You should always feel shitty because if it doesn’t hurt then you’re probably not making optimal development. The only th…
Harder is not always better.