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What really happens inside a dating app

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Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#351

Post by felurx »

_the_inflator wrote: post #241
RobotToaster wrote: post #227

Retention is a terrible metric for a dating app. The "perfect" dating app would have a 0% retention rate since the first person you meet would be your "ideal partner". It's tantamount to measuring a hospital's performance by it's retention rate.

That's not a business model. Creating opportunities to mate, not to therapy. ;) Managed Dissatisfaction, FOMO, Abundance: And the users want it. That's what the data shows. Proof: essentially, every app is a dating app covered up as "social features." Apple just entered the dating app market.

I think users "want" it the same way smokers "want" cigarettes.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#352

Post by thomastjeffery »

AnthonyMouse wrote: post #345
thomastjeffery wrote: post #334

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Again, this is all predicated on what data can be measured inside the app. The top 5% of men would be a completely different group if it was measured differently. It's not the actual men we are ranking here, it's their profiles.

How to measure it isn't really a difficulty. It's the ones who cause the women to hit the like button.

Are you even reading my comments?

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#353

Post by bradlys »

globular-toast wrote: post #321
jeffrallen wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Best dating advice I ever got was "get busy doing something you are good at and proud of, and you will attract someone who appreciates that". Apparently you are good at wearing aloha shirts and finding products. ¯ \ _ ( ツ ) _ / ¯

Tiny detail: that "something" has to be out of the house and in a populated area.

And popular with women too. You’re not going to meet many women if you’re racing motorcycles.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#354

Post by lostmsu »

globular-toast wrote: post #321
jeffrallen wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Best dating advice I ever got was "get busy doing something you are good at and proud of, and you will attract someone who appreciates that". Apparently you are good at wearing aloha shirts and finding products. ¯ \ _ ( ツ ) _ / ¯

Tiny detail: that "something" has to be out of the house and in a populated area.

Almost said nonstarter for us, people dead set on programming, but then remembered there are still co-working meetups.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#355

Post by mettamage »

globular-toast wrote: post #322
mettamage wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll talk about the things I'm willing to post publicly (feel free to email me for what I can only say in private). 1. Get the BEST possible pictures of you. If your picture doesn't look like the best picture you've taken all year, don't use it. Just know that online dating is more about being photogenic and looking good in the perceptions of others than actually looking good. However, if you're unattractive IRL, mak…

My most successful opener by far was simply saying her name with followed by an exclamation mark. If she responded at all (almost always by my name followed by an exclamation mark), then it usually resulted in a lay. Other openers could very easily result in a waste of my time.

Interesting, will mention this to friends who are dating

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#356

Post by bawolff »

GuB-42 wrote: post #270
bawolff wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It does seem like there are a lot of hidden assumptions here. Is the man who gets less matches really more likely to want a relationship rather than sex, or is he faking that opinion because he doesn't think he has options and thinks lying will get him more matches. My assumption would be someone who changes their mind on what they want based on availability of choices would probably not be a good relationship partne…

It can be explained with simple statistics. Let's say 50% of men want casual sex, 50% want a stable relationship, regardless of their desirability. Let's say that the 10% most desirable men get 10 "conclusive" matches a month, the others get 1 per month. Let's say that for men who are in for casual sex stay on the platform for 1 year, those who are in for a long term relationship stay for as long as they need to. Let…

I think the obvious conclusion to that is that dating apps are only good for hookups, and anyone who wants a real relationship would be best served by going elsewhere where the signal to noise ratio is higher and not skewed in this fashion.

Interestingly though you are basically describing a lemons market. However we don't usually advise people buying used cars to go for the crap-looking car.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#357

Post by ramoz »

0_____0 wrote: post #165
thaumasiotes wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money. > Don't do this. > pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited). So, instead of having my pictures taken by a professional photographer, you recommend that I pay a professional photographer to take my pictur…

English doesn't seem to be their first language. My interpretation of what they were saying is that if you don't have pro photos you are wasting your time, along with any money given to the app (not the photographer, who you didn't pay anyway)

That was the original author's notes.

Im saying dont do this: https://www.koby.photography/blog/2024/8/14/why-professional...

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#358

Post by ramoz »

thaumasiotes wrote: post #83
ramoz wrote: post #2

> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money. Don't do this. You need good pictures that convey attractiveness (looks, as well as personality). Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation hidden under a shell of an ego the shot tries to portray. So…

>> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money. > Don't do this. > pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited). So, instead of having my pictures taken by a professional photographer, you recommend that I pay a professional photographer to take my pictur…

I mean your response here is equally extreme if not clownish.

Do not pay for staged professional photos that convey exactly that.

If you do pay for photos, they should look _real_ like an actual photo taken with a phone while you are doing something. Way less processed, less uncanny vibes, less holding you suit button looking out into nowhere.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#359

Post by naveen99 »

jameslk wrote: post #21

> The likelihood to like and exchange inside homosexual groups is much higher than in heterosexual ones. > The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio of 5% and you remove 50% of the profiles, even if you remove only the profiles she will not like, her like ratio will still be 5% These two statements sound like they would be at odds. It seems either…

Lesbian numbers are negligible. Pursuing women is a sport dominated by men. Even Trump won’t ban men (trans or not) from pursuing lesbian women.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#360

Post by DiggyJohnson »

wutwutwat wrote: post #331
DiggyJohnson wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Read the guidelines and in general don’t call people an “incel” because they disagree with you.

That's not why I called them an incel. I called them an incel for spouting a hateful opinion as fact that makes women out to be inferior, you know, the thing incels are known for doing.

You should essentially never call someone an incel if you want to be taken seriously. Second, it’s obviously against the HN guidelines.
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