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I deleted my social media accounts

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Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#351

Post by prmoustache »

pmarreck wrote: post #160
hypeatei wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on This doesn't really seem that important if your only method of knowing this was a post blasted to hundreds (or thousands) of people. Or, to put it another way: if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. I'd argue that social media has normalized keeping up with people who aren't supposed to b…

> a call from them um... will someone else tell him/her, or should I?

My partner (who's family is living 10000km away on another side of an ocean) learned her estranged father died a few days ago and that he had been terminally ill for months.

Apparently someone from that part of the family had posted it on facebook but she didn't notice it as she do not visit it every day.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#352

Post by herbst »

nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

What are you even talking about when you meet them? Are you reiterating each others Facebook posts together?

Not having seen a friend for a longer time and talking about all the things that happened is the one thing that friendship is about IMO.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#353

Post by pino82 »

nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

Also good to consider for that tradeoff: Those people are completely fine to ignore you without some Zuck accounts.

Bring that together with your idea about friendship before you run behind them.

Maybe it's fine for you. Maybe your conclusion is that it's not worth the thing.

It's not a new topic. For me, iit was around 15 years ago. I never had FB or WA. Not even for a day. And that brought a lot of friendships to an end. Most of my friendships in fact. And that was sad!! But well, no other way would even be an option, admittedly! It's sad, but it was the best I could do.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#354

Post by skwee357 »

I don't oppose deleting social media, but I can't see to understand one simple thing.

LinkedIn is the de-facto standard for looking for a job in certain places. I wonder, people who deleted LinkedIn, how do they get along with looking for a job?

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#355

Post by Sebb767 »

godelski wrote: post #236
johnnyanmac wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. TBH I have no idea where or if my friend post stuff on social media anymore. I know maybe 1 person that posted updates often on Facebook, and that was pre-pandemic. Some post more business stuff on twitter. But overall I just kind of accept that sometimes I'll meet up with someone after a few years and realize "oh yeah, t…

> Of course, the first thing men will say after that meeting is simply "I've been fine, can't complain. How about you?". Some of this is natural (though I don't believe healthy) but I think some of this is due to social media where people expect others to be aware of all their major events. Ironically I find this aspect of social media fairly dehumanizing. It disincentivizes direct communication. Why tell someone abo…

> Some of this is natural (though I don't believe healthy) but I think some of this is due to social media where people expect others to be aware of all their major events.

I sometimes do this despite not posting any personal stuff on social media. The reasoning here is pretty simple, I usually don't have a full list of all the stuff that happened in the last few years in mind. When meeting someone I see more often, it's quite easy to think about the last week/month and start with the noteworthy events; whereas, when meeting someone after a few years, not only do I need to think about what happened, but also which of those events might interest the person in question and what level of detail is appropriate

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#357

Post by nkrisc »

austin-cheney wrote: post #306
slg wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…

> I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. That seems so bizarre. Just 20+ years ago this sort of sympathy seeking broadcasting action was associated with mental health illness, like Munchausen Biproxy. Yes, back in the day if tragedy happened people would take deliberate effort to call each other.

I’m not on social media but people have been posting obituaries publicly in newspapers and such for centuries.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#358

Post by flumpcakes »

I haven't had social media for 10+ years. There's been periods where I create a facebook account again, but it is soon deleted within a week or so. I only use WhatsApp to talk to real-life people and Discord to talk to online gaming "friends". I do have accounts obviously on some websites to make comments like this.

It is awfully lonely I must admit. I have a partner of over a decade which helps but not having social media is very isolating. My wife has all the social medias and knows what happens with my family before I do!

My last 'experiment' was the shortest - I registered for an Instagram account and when it suggested that I add my real-life next door neighbour in the sign-up process I immediately stopped and deleted the account. That is scary.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#359

Post by upghost »

A few strange things you will miss when deleting social media that are nonobvious.

1. Some companies will not look at your resume or do business with you unless you have a LinkedIn account, especially in the age of AI. Fine by me.

2. If you go to start a business, you will find most of these social media companies require you to have a personal account in order to make a business/marketing account. This is very annoying.

3. Damn I miss Facebook Marketplace. But it's not worth having FB. You can usually have a friend do marketplace stuff for you.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#360

Post by Karrot_Kream »

austin-cheney wrote: post #306
slg wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…

> I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. That seems so bizarre. Just 20+ years ago this sort of sympathy seeking broadcasting action was associated with mental health illness, like Munchausen Biproxy. Yes, back in the day if tragedy happened people would take deliberate effort to call each other.

Right but it's not 20+ years ago. 20+ years ago when my family visited relatives abroad, our relatives would get to the airport and often have to wait for our delayed flight because they had no way of knowing and half the day would be lost. If your flight arrived early then you just waited. That was normal. Now we update each other over a web messenger, arrive at our destination, hop onto the free WiFi, then wait until our relatives greet us.

Technology changes the world around us.

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