Why aren't smart people happier? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#351

Post by winternett » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:44 PM UTC

Apreche wrote: post #40

The smarter people see the truth of the world and the universe. If the truth was good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cares about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart just means you know the awful reality of things. Congrats, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is you get to experience existential dread. Congra…

I honestly can't tell if I'm smart or stupid any more... It seems that the absolute dumbest schemes are paying their creators out in millions as I struggle to find success in the normally iron clad business methods... I tweet about things that matter to me and often things I think that are of solid comedic value, but it doesn't connect with many others due to it's lack of conformity with what others are posting online... Which constantly tells me there's something I don't know or may be missing. Success tips online are totally generated to make money, and it floods out what once used to mostly be useful and meaningful advice from smart and experienced (intelligent) people.

I also have been working harder than ever on creative things, and they literally seem to only be valued online for 5 seconds until they go completely dead. I know I'm being manipulated and twisted, but my morality makes me not want to hack my way into public consciousness for money and popularity.... I might by citing that, and citing that many others are hacking their way in, be quite stupid.

Are the people that make and hack manipulative schemes smart? Are the people that break the law and get away with it smart? I don't do those things, so maybe I'm stupid.. At least I can admit it I guess.

I think we're living in a time where an entire generation of people born into inherited wealth are buying their way into popularity (which is painting a very weird and false picture of what success and intelligence really means), and when combined with all the smart people trying to climb life's ladders, the ability to succeed is under threat now more than ever.

Intelligence to me has always been based more on overall life survival skills and growth success rather than human engineered IQ tests... I know actual critically acclaimed surgeons and engineers that literally couldn't tell you where a spare tire is on a car when they get a flat, and if no one else is there to help them.

When one has the financial augmentation of being born into vast amounts of wealth, social status, and connection (which often the individuals most deemed as "smart" are) the very ideal of intelligence is turned upon it's head... The lucky ones can literally fail their way into success without anyone knowing the difference.

To me, the most simplified definition of intelligence for an individual is living life fully and well, with ethics and reputation in balance, being free from the control and influence of others, accomplishing notable things, and skillfully overcoming obstacles as they present themselves... I can't really say I'm smart at this point because many of those things mentioned prior are under threat for everyone right now, and it seems like I'm pitted against others for a limited pool of success resources more and more every day. I'm not happy about that at all.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#352

Post by my12pence » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:47 PM UTC

This reminds me of a verse in the book of Ecclesiastes.

1:18 "For an abundance of wisdom brings an abundance of frustration,

So that whoever increases knowledge increases pain."

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#353

Post by vlark » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:49 PM UTC

Because we're surrounded by idiots, that's why./s

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#354

Post by Sohcahtoa82 » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:53 PM UTC

NotTameAntelope wrote: post #328

Bayart wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's been my experience as well. I'm much happier in my 30s, having enough experience that I've learned to let go and accept existential dread for the useless bother that it is, than I was in my 20s. Truly realizing that nobody's that special also was a qualitative leap. Not that I'd call myself « smart » with a straight face, but I certainly used to care a lot about things outside of my control.

You have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy. That's very you specific, not really related to your age, other than that it took you until your 30s to find that equilibrium. There's nothing at all written down anywhere that ensures such an equilibrium for everyone, however. Especially for folks who represent a…

> You have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy.

I think some people have too much empathy to ever reach that point.

I have a few friends that literally broke out in tears when Russia began the invasion of Ukraine. They don't know a single person in Ukraine. Nothing about the war truly has an effect on their day-to-day lives. They don't even have investments that got clobbered.

Yet they shed tears over innocent civilian lives being lost.

These people have been on the verge of nervous breakdown ever since COVID hit.

Seeing people on such an extreme end makes me feel like I might be slightly sociopathic because I read the news and just think "Well that sucks" and then move on with my day, knowing it makes no difference to me and my life.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#355

Post by numbers_guy » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:57 PM UTC

For me it is quite simply because I lack the human touch. Due to a multitude of compounding factors I cannot manage to find a soulmate, and life alone is miserable. I don't see how being smart would help in this situation. If anything it makes it harder to connect with someone, because the pool of compatible people is smaller.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#356

Post by slothtrop » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:58 PM UTC

nickelcitymario wrote: post #310

slothtrop wrote: post #298

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The success was incidental, but ultimately not trying didn't make him happy. That's the point, they're the words of a miserable man. I don't think misery scales with effort. It might with a sense of entitlement to monetary success or self-perception of failure for failing to reach arbitrary heights that have nothing to do with the art. The antidote is perspective not inaction.

"Don't try" != "inaction". It means letting go of expectations. The wind blows to and fro with incredibly amounts of energy, but there's no "try". The lion doesn't try to hunt. It simply hunts, and sometimes that results in a meal. It doesn't sit around wondering why it's such a failure as a lion. And it doesn't gather trinkets to prove how successful it is. In other words, it doesn't obsess about its own happiness.…

Doing, unless we've already instilled a habit on auto-pilot, requires effort to varying degrees. That is trying. It's impossible to divorce.

I think letting go of expectations is a positive, but I think the aphorism in question does not translate to it. Cognitive trappings have nothing to do with effort. Effort in itself can be rewarding.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#357

Post by johndhi » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:58 PM UTC

Imo it's a lack of meditation. We think too much and don't balance that with not thinking.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#358

Post by nescioquid » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:59 PM UTC

throw__away7391 wrote: post #272

I have noticed that a lot of/majority of "regular people" tend to coast along on the back of others as a way of life. If "smart people" are perceived by friends and family as being problem solvers, many will route their problems to a "smart friend", someone who seems to have their life somewhat in order or always have the answer to everything. I used to get an endless stream of requests for everything from technical…

> "regular people" tend to coast along on the back of others as a way of life...many will route their problems to a "smart friend"

The human animal's basic survival strategy is cooperation. I'd imagine your "regular people" friends should be willing to help you out with something not readily in your power (e.g. house-sitting). Because you are intelligent, you get a certain kind of request; if you had a big truck or big muscles, you'd get a different sort.

If you've helped people without the expectation of reciprocity or setting boundaries, you've created the dependencies. On the other hand, it sounds like you have a lot of favors you can call in :-)

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#359

Post by scarmig » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 5:59 PM UTC

vlark wrote: post #353

Because we're surrounded by idiots, that's why./s

You joke, but when I'm surrounded by "dumb" people, I tend to be much happier than when I'm surrounded by "smart" people. Maybe I'm dumb.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#360

Post by johndhi » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 6:00 PM UTC

nazgulnarsil wrote: post #342

This question generally presupposes a misunderstanding of the physiological purpose and phenomenological experience of happiness. Happiness by its nature is not sustainable. Contentment and well being with a high happiness surface area and a low suffering surface area is sustainable. This does not look very dramatic from the outside, and is poorly captured by many metrics. Neuroticism might be one of the best psychom…

Ehh, this feels like mere semantics to me.