See Also: Apology
So you've made a mistake and it's public
351–360 of 403 posts
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#352Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think this is a good point to keep in mind. Some things sound good but can hurt people's perception of you if used too much, or incorrectly. Apologize too quickly, and without really making sure it was actually a mistake worth apologizing for, and people start to get used to the idea of you being constantly wrong. I've run into something that is kinda-sorta-similar with regards to praising other people. I really to…
Self-deprecating humor was another thing that went bad places I didn't expect it to go. When I was in high school, I got in the habit of cracking self deprecating jokes because I was one of the top students. It was a means to try to put other people at ease and signal "I'm just plain folks and not perfect and please don't be intimidated. Please relax." Later in life it only served to convince people I was a loser and…
When someone who is top of the class self-deprecates themselves, often people will interpret that as an attack on them, as it looks like you're bringing yourself down to their level, which implies you actually do see yourself on top and them lower than you. I hate being pitied. You're far better off just being who you are, and damn proud of it.
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#353Earlier quoted context omitted.
> As to "getting out" of "being cancelled" by "mobs" I wouldn't know since I already have trouble identifying what that's supposed to mean. I have a strong suspicion that you know what I mean, you just don't want to recognize that. If you indeed know nothing about cancel culture, I envy whatever bubble you reside in, and I wish I could organize my life to never encounter it too, however it is not so for me. If you pr…
Oh, your first hunch was correct. I sort-of know that it means the phenomenon where Harvey Weinstein rapes a dozen women and everybody on the internet pretends that's the reason they don't want to have women on their team. Because apparently "showing up at their colleagues' hotel room doors, naked and at night" is somehow just bound to happen in the course of standard operating procedures. Also the related phenomenon…
> I sort-of know that it means the phenomenon where Harvey Weinstein
I think you are confusing your imagination with reality. Nobody - and by that I mean literally, without exaggeration, no single person who lives or ever lived - ever pretended that Harvey Weinstein raping women is the reason they don't want women on their team. Not "everybody", not somebody - literally no single person is pretending or ever pretended that. Moreover, you know that as well as I do, I am certain of that (because you don't know any such person, by virtue of such person not existing). So why are you writing these obviously false words?
> Because apparently "showing up at their colleagues' hotel room doors, naked and at night" is somehow just bound to happen in the course of standard operating procedures.
I do not know who told you that (I suspect you imagined it just as you did the above) but it certainly is not the course of any operating procedures at all. None of them.
> Also the related phenomenon where people walk through cities being casually and formally anti-semitic, deliberately crashing cars into groups of people, but call the other side "mob", because they complain about that on Twitter.
People who walk through cities being anti-semitic and people who complain about cancel culture are distinct sets of people whose intersection is minuscule. And you also know it. Also, cancel culture is not complaining on Twitter about somebody marching somewhere, and you also know it too. Again, you are writing words which both you and everybody reading them knows are false. What for?
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#354Earlier quoted context omitted.
Self-deprecating humor was another thing that went bad places I didn't expect it to go. When I was in high school, I got in the habit of cracking self deprecating jokes because I was one of the top students. It was a means to try to put other people at ease and signal "I'm just plain folks and not perfect and please don't be intimidated. Please relax." Later in life it only served to convince people I was a loser and…
When someone who is top of the class self-deprecates themselves, often people will interpret that as an attack on them, as it looks like you're bringing yourself down to their level, which implies you actually do see yourself on top and them lower than you. I hate being pitied. You're far better off just being who you are, and damn proud of it.
[deleted]
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#355Earlier quoted context omitted.
Considering Reddit and 4Chan are things, Wikipedia is far from being the most toxic . Maybe the most elitist
That's a peculiar way to describe things. I would consider being "elitist" almost synonymous to being "toxic", and thus 4chan being about the least toxic platforms on the list of major English social media, far below Reddit, Wikipedia, Twitter, HN and so on.
I don't think Wikipedia fosters the kind of nihilistic hatred that lead to harassment campaigns and real world violence the way 4chan does. I get that not all of 4chan is pol and r9k, but that's still a decent chunk of the users. I can't think of a place on the internet with a higher concentration of incels and alt-right nazi types, besides 8chan.
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#356Earlier quoted context omitted.
Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18: If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat…
Wow, guess he really didn't like tax collectors.
Sort of?
On the one hand, they were a cultural byword for a morally degraded profession at the time. "Tax collectors and prostitutes" is a phrase that comes up not infrequently in the gospels, and not just out of Jesus' mouth So apparently the practice of tax collecting was a little weird in the Roman Empire.
On the other hand, he was known for having dinner with tax collectors and prostitutes. One of his 12 disciples was a tax collector.
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#357> What should I do when I see someone else is making a mistake? > When you see others making mistakes, first help them see their mistakes and deal with them (e.g. by recycling this text, or by independently offering your analysis and answers to Steps 1 and 2 above). > Remember you make mistakes too, and be tolerant of the time it may take people to accept that they have made a mistake. (But you don't need to allow th…
Remember you make mistakes too [citation needed]
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#358Earlier quoted context omitted.
Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18: If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat…
Wow, guess he really didn't like tax collectors.
You have to keep in mind that the way tax collection worked in that area at the time is that it was contracted out by the state. The contractor needed to deliver some amount of money to the state, and empowered to gather money from people; the difference between what they gathered and what they delivered to the state was their profit.
Tax collectors operating within this incentive structure were not likely to be very likable.
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#359Earlier quoted context omitted.
Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18: If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat…
Wow, guess he really didn't like tax collectors.
In some places, tax collection was performed for an occupying power, e.g., the Roman empire. Hence, it was rightfully seen as "money taken away" instead of "funding public infrastructure".
Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public
#360I think there's a step missing before step 0: first be sure that you've actually made a mistake. And don't assume that the existence of an angry internet mob is any evidence of a mistake on your part. Perhaps it's best to talk things through with a trusted friend/adviser first.