Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Explaining Sex Rate Changes

overcomingbias.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

351–360 of 588 posts

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#351

Post by PedroBatista »

polote wrote: post #270
freyir wrote: post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

To me there are two important factors that explain that: * Dating apps, not good looking people have hard time getting any match on those kind of apps, so for those that use app and don't try to meet any other girls in real life I can easily understand that they don't have sex with any girls. Also these apps tends to increase expectations of people because they see beautiful people all day. * Porno, porno is more and…

I think the only/mostly porn thing has a cost in the long term.

But I suspect they only watch porn because they can't have real sex or don't know how to get there.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#352

Post by gfiorav »

In my case, I’ve always found partners (including my wife with whom I’ve been in a strong relationship for 8 years) in gatherings with friends and friends of friends.

I would absolutely DREAD today’s dating scene through a screen. Maybe older men do it the old way?

I don’t know, this is one revolution I hope regresses.

If you’re young and looking, I’d suggest you try to mix and match your circle with your friends’ circles and hope for the best.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#353

Post by MRD85 »

maxkwallace wrote: post #301
freyir wrote: post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

"swipe right, swipe left" acts as a filter but it's not how people choose partners. People choose partners based on chatting after the swipe and the overall impression/feeling they have when meeting in-person. The belief that the majority of women on the dating market choose partners primarily based on looks and status is a fiction that's part of a broader narrative insecure men tell themselves to help rationalize th…

There is literally posts where someone made a profile with a really good looking man as the picture and he can say anything he wants. Take a look at this example: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=165905221&pa...

You make a regular guy say those things and his dating life would be dead quiet. If you want success with women you should do your best to become attractive.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#354

Post by codebolt »

2muchcoffeeman wrote: post #183
fratlas wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've noticed this disparity within my friend circles. The objectively attractive men match/sleep with multiple woman a month where almost all of the men with near average looks get approximately zero matches. Interesting indeed. My female friends match with almost every male regardless.

I reactivated my OkCupid profile recently. I’m as undesirable as I always was. There’s nothing to do but to laugh about it.

Get some headshots taken with a professional photographer, make sure you dress sharp in your pics, etc. There's many things to do about increasing your attractivenes both online and IRL other than laughing about it and throwing up your arms, if you really wanted to.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#355

Post by nukeop »

cousin_it wrote: post #148

Clearly caused by the same (unknown) thing that's been causing the double-digit decline in testosterone levels of Western men for the last few decades, regardless of job market or dating apps or whatever. So I'm leaning toward physiological explanation, not social.

BPA plastics? Bad diets? Roundup? Chemicals in the water that make the freaking frogs gay? It's funny until it happens to you.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#356

Post by burneraccount12 »

Burner account to describe my experience.

Late 30s male software developer - my long-term, live-in gf dumped me a few months ago and I got on the dating apps. Holy cow.

I get dozens of "matches" every single day on Bumble and Hinge, it's overwhelming. Don't even bother with Tindr or OKC (I tried OKC for a week and I had literally over 900+ "likes"). I'm not saying this rub it in anyone's face, just to confirm the hypothesis of many in this thread: the dating apps have redistributed matches to the top 20%.

I have friends and coworkers who are totally normal, regular-looking dudes and they barely get any matches -- my results piss them off so much they won't even talk to me about dating anymore.

I'm a decent-looking person but no male model and not rich, I can't even imagine how much more intense it is at that level.

That being said, I don't like the apps and wish there was a different way. Some kind of combination of internet matching and speed dating so you didn't have to waste days of your life endlessly texting or drop hundreds of dollars buying drinks (and/or dinner) for women who text you after the fact that they're not interested.

Not that anyone feels bad for me, but even getting a ton of responses it's not a process I enjoy either.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#357

Post by Udik »

watwut wrote: post #316
raxxorrax wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this problem will be addressed more and more by mail order brides or something like that for males in more prosperous nations, at least at the point when more men realize that they need to capitalize on their economic situation. The poorer countries are left with huge disenfranchised populations that will not be very friendly in the long term.

Dating a dude that is cool with buying a bride would be profoundly bad idea. His ideas on what he expects from relationship are such that you really really don't want to with him.

I think the risk there is more for the man than the woman. I don't think there is anything inherently bad in trying to circumvent the natural hierarchies of dating by means of your (unearned) social background. It's always part of the game anyway, and it doesn't mean that you want to "own" somebody or anything like that. But it's naive, as it won't last long in the new social environment. I.e. the beautiful wife will soon discover she has much better possibilities in the new country.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#358

Post by stupidthrowaway »

burneraccount12 wrote: post #356

Burner account to describe my experience. Late 30s male software developer - my long-term, live-in gf dumped me a few months ago and I got on the dating apps. Holy cow. I get dozens of "matches" every single day on Bumble and Hinge, it's overwhelming. Don't even bother with Tindr or OKC (I tried OKC for a week and I had literally over 900+ "likes"). I'm not saying this rub it in anyone's face, just to confirm the hyp…

humblebrag detected

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#359

Post by sridca »

bubblewrap wrote: post #210
michaelmrose wrote: post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Turns out there are still more than enough women for all of us. Joe average actually has little challenge getting a mate same as before. The guy 3 steps down is the one with a problem that isn't manifestly different than its ever been.

Doesn't the data discussed in this threat directly contradict your statement of "there are more than enough women for everyone"? And so does historical data, isn't it the case that many men didn't reproduce historically, which can be seen through genetic analysis? Edit: cursory googling turns up this, for example: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success (8,000 Years Ago, 17 Women Reproduced for Eve…

Baumeister indicated this in his book that I read a long time ago, but it is more like 2:1,

> throughout the entire history of the human race, maybe 80% of women but only 40% of men reproduced.

https://psy.fsu.edu/~baumeisterticelab/goodaboutmen.htm

As someone who favours individualism and was brought up in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm I found this most shocking and interesting at the same time.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#360

Post by burneraccount12 »

stupidthrowaway wrote: post #358
burneraccount12 wrote: post #356

Burner account to describe my experience. Late 30s male software developer - my long-term, live-in gf dumped me a few months ago and I got on the dating apps. Holy cow. I get dozens of "matches" every single day on Bumble and Hinge, it's overwhelming. Don't even bother with Tindr or OKC (I tried OKC for a week and I had literally over 900+ "likes"). I'm not saying this rub it in anyone's face, just to confirm the hyp…

humblebrag detected

Say what you will. I would have preferred to have stayed with my ex-gf.

Internet dating is not fun for me either, but again I'm not looking for sympathy -- just to tell you that the hypothesis people are advancing seems correct from my POV.

Post reply on HN