Lies We Tell Kids

On the other hand, a certain underage girl I met on IRC (back when she turned 15), seems immature, very "heavy" for her age (i.e: takes life too seriously and does not have a lot of fun), and miserable. She's been raised as a Catholic and home-schooled and while a Linux geek, seemed very lonely. She also seemed to know the basic facts about sex, science, etc.

They are both from the USA although the boy is from Louisiana and the girl is from Pennsylvania. They both enjoyed this story of mine - http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/human-hacking/ - that talks about high-school teenagers in early 2000's Los Angeles. The girl, on the other hand, thought that it was real and said that she would really like to meet one of the characters there. While I feel flattered that I'm a good writer, it has many non-realistic elements in it.

In any case, what I meant to say was that you have a point that people can stay innocent while knowing a lot. I believe I stayed innocent and a child at heart. By child at heart I don't mind that I'm immature, just that I'm excited about life, am not sarcastic, am open-minded, despise Fatalistic attitudes (including PG's), and believe that people are essentially good. However, I feel that I've matured and became "wiser" and more knowledgeable as time went by, which is why I don't wish to be younger.

So I think it's not knowledge that makes us less innocent, but rather how we conceive it. A programmer/translator friend I talked to claimed that open-source and the Creative Commons were "Socialism". I tried to explain to him that by sharing intellectual artworks, including code, you didn't really became deprived of them, like Marxism suggests of switching from "Everyone according to their ability, to everyone according to their needs." . It didn't convince him and he insisted it was still sacrificing profits.

Eventually, I settled it with the other Perl mongers by saying that it doesn't matter if open-source is communism or socialism or whatever, as long as we all know and agree that it is good for the people.

I'm the kind of person, who like a child believes that rules and conventions are not set in stone and should be analysed, challenged, and possibly disobeyed. As such, I am anti-conformist, write screenplays for fun (including Friends and Star Trek fan art), write controversial essays, which challenge things that are considered truisms, and also often pass negative (but still constructive) criticism on people (probably privately) about negative patterns I have detected in them, so hopefully they'll improve.

I have seen and heard of a lot of evil things, including people who treated me with cruelty, but I know that most people are and want to be good. Despite being an Israeli, I even met several Iranians online who were very friendly, and a Pakistani-in-origin, who while kinda implied that Israel was the mortal enemy of Pakistan, still treated me with respect, and was also kind enough to copy-edit one of my essays, and give me many useful corrections.

"In order for us to maintain our way of living, we must, in a broad sense, tell lies to each other, and especially to ourselves. It is not necessary that the lies be particularly believable. The lies act as barriers to truth. These barriers to truth are necessary because without them many deplorable acts would become impossibilities."

The essay doesn't apply to my parenting but I enjoyed reading it anyway because I know that it applies to many other parents. I could identify with aspects of it because I survived public schools.

You made the decisions to raise your child as you are for specific reasons. I can't imagine that this article doesn't touch onto some of the motivators behind your parenting style.

This is brilliantly illustrated by the TV show "the Simpson's" where the roles of Bart and Homer are reversed for the most part. Bart generally understands the consequences of his actions whereas Homer doesn't have a clue. Homer is the innocent in this case.

I find this definition of "child-like" innocence pretty robust, it seems to fit with most of my experiences. Knowlege is what destroys this form of innocence, not evil, so it explains a lot of the lies that we tell. Adults vicariously enjoy the hope of their children and fear that telling them the "truth" will spoil the vision.

With my kids (I have 5 kids and 2 grandkids) I have tried to be as honest as possible but when you understand the "truth" to be very complex it becomes difficult to provide a simplified view that a child can fully understand (especially when you know you don't fully understand it either). A partially understood truth may be as misleading as an out-and-out lie but more difficult to unravel.

Another reason adults like to preserve the "innocence" of their children is that it reminds them of when they had hope and helps them relive or rediscover it.