Maybe the best way to phrase this is "If there is mutual attraction." Plenty of people marry their co workers. And there are plenty of non creepy/harassing ways to figure out if someone else is interested.
Are there? Please explain them to me. I'm serious and want to learn
(Assuming no supervisory relationship or other power imbalance,)
Make an introduction. Make your mild/budding interest in them clear enough. Ask them to do something that's clearly not work with you.
"Hey, want to get coffee sometime this weekend?"
You'll find out if there's preliminary interest or not. If they're interested but busy, they'll figure out how to make that distinction clear. If "sorry; I'm busy" is the entire answer, just assume they're not interested. You get one "free" chance here; make it fairly clear that you're interested; don't invite them out for a "team dinner" and then arrange for the rest of the team to not show up or other chicanery.
I've worked with a predominately Woman staffed workforce for most of my professional career. This whole charade of sexism can go fuck itself until the ageism issue of Baby Boomers riding out their job past their expiration date to go collect their pension. It's not a gender issue. It's a getting fucked over as an employee issue. Maddox at XMission had it right that anytime somebody is willing to do a job for less mon…
> I'm seriously tired of this woe-is-me-I'm-a-prisoner-of-my-own-creation narrative.
> Right now? I'm being emotionally abused in my current job by a woman. How can I protest? How can I not come off like an asshole for pointing such a thing out? There's no right answer, so go ahead and say it.
Guys will do a lot for a woman they're interested in. If they make a move, it ruins the advantage of being a potential prospect and forces her to feign interest to protect her advantage or fold and risk offending the guy and/or go forward without the carrot of that maybe relationship. I think child-like women would interpret it as just unfair, but you can also see that they have a dual advantage-disadvantage that's more complex than simple oppression. You can get meetings more easily, but you have to rebuff guys who just show up to see you as opposed to coming out to invest or partner with you.
Normally people have to do some penance before forgiveness, especially as the crimes grow more heinous. Continuing to live the rich and privileged life you were leading before, more or less untouched by the hand of justice, does not count for much in this dimension.
Certainly. But what does justice look like here? If nobody knows or nobody's willing to venture a guess, then we should at least acknowledge that complete social ostracism is a massive penalty. Are you sure the punishment fits the crime? It seems more likely that there's a reasonable middle ground, but maybe someone has a persuasive argument to the contrary.
- Reparations to all he harmed directly.
- Further reparations to groups representing those similarly situated.
- Meaningful engagement with mental health professionals to attempt to work on the source of the problem.
- Less defensive, less self-promotional apologies.
These four are the bare minimum. Until he has done each of these, he's receiving a failing grade from me.
> This is people being assholes because they know they can get away with it. Nope. These people are being assholes because they ARE assholes. Never attribute to rational decision making what can be attributed to rotten character.
Then why does their behavior disproportionately affect women, who have less power to complain about their behavior? If this were entirely an aspect of their character or personality they'd be an asshole to everyone equally, not opportunistically take advantage of people who have less ability to stop them.
Part of poor character is picking on people from a position of power, when they have something you want. Part of poor character is putting your urges ahead of your empathy.
I have a confession to make. With few exceptions, I cannot work with a woman without thinking about having sex with her. It's not like I'm trying, it's more like the thought is a blinking red light and I can't help but look at the thought. Then I realize the thought is absurd, but it's already happened. This normally doesn't leak out, but for some women, I will give them "eyes" and usually feel bad about it afterward…
Thanks for being honest. Currently the west is pretty much attempting to eliminate gender. The problem is, humans are biologically not much different than they were 1000 years ago. So while there are these high ideals about a basically gender neutral society, the reality is that it does not, and in fact cannot exist. Currently we are in a weird time in history where people do not understand that there is a very good reason why every single advanced species has 2 genders. If it was not incredibly helpful to have 2 distinct genders, why would it be so prevalent in nature? Having two genders is a wonderful thing, and leads to incredible efficiency through separation of labor. Unfortunately I get downvoted for stating the obvious here on hacker news. However, look at the stats, and you will find that feminism has lead to more money and power for women, but much less happiness for both men and women. You are a great example. You would be happier if you could just focus on code instead of thinking about women. But no, we just have to have gender integration, with women who try to make themselves look sexy every day, then complain if somebody is attacted to them. Neither you nor them are happy about the situation. But "society" is. Hopefully one day people will wake up. But I doubt it will happen soon.
They are all mindlessly ambitious dicks. That includes the women. These stories are just resume building tools.
Do you think it's enjoyable to be in the public eye for telling on someone? Surely you're aware that people who blow the whistle are often blackballed.
Are there? Please explain them to me. I'm serious and want to learn
(Assuming no supervisory relationship or other power imbalance,) Make an introduction. Make your mild/budding interest in them clear enough. Ask them to do something that's clearly not work with you. "Hey, want to get coffee sometime this weekend?" You'll find out if there's preliminary interest or not. If they're interested but busy, they'll figure out how to make that distinction clear. If "sorry; I'm busy" is the…
I've tried walking up to a girl, smiling, and introducing myself with "hi!". Her response: "don't ever talk to me you creep!"
I've had other girls respond with "hi! omg do you work out?"
What you're suggesting is no guarantee that you won't come across as creepy. If you haven't actually extensively tested your suggested approach it's kind of harmful to go around giving them as advice
"Apologies" like Chris Sacca's [0] don't make you too hopeful. Often I have committed as their first limited partner and encouraged them to use my name and participation to attract other investment. I’ve introduced them to my fund’s most loyal investors and made sure they have had the opportunity to make their case rather than get lost in an inbox. I’ve also connected them to our trusted service providers saving them…
This entire article is a smorgasbord of cringe: > During the recruiting process, Mr. McClure, a founder of 500 Startups and an investor, sent her a Facebook message that read in part, “I was getting confused figuring out whether to hire you or hit on you.” One would think having the phrases "hire you" and "hit on you" in the same sentence when communicating with someone undergoing recruitment at your company would be…
I think cringe is the wrong word. We cringe when we watch The Office and see people make social mistakes without meaning to. These are not unwitting social mistakes. This is people being assholes because they know they can get away with it. Furthermore, not having met any of these people but speculating based on my experience, I would guess that their motivations go beyond just looking for sex and knowing that one ti…
If these VCs are constantly using their power and privilege over women in their industry, I have to wonder if it actually ever works?
And if it does work and the person on the receiving end doesn't view it as harassment, should we? Should we start publicly admonishing the people who chose to sleep with a VC for money?
Part of me wonders if we should be equally aghast at the founder who does sleep with a VC for money/influence and has no qualms about it. It must be happening if VCs keep harassing at this rate, otherwise these VCs wouldn't keep trying. Im not trying to victim blame here, I'm just trying to point out that there may be a very strange culture underlying all of this sexual harassment.