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Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

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Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#341

Post by hrktb »

dragonwriter wrote: post #170
hrktb wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it’s not just that. For instance 20 years ago there was public phone booths everywhere. A kid would just need a few coins and the house number to do a call, now you’d need a cell phone, and giving one to a 5~8 year kid is still not practical. Or I remember shopping at local shops enough to know their faces and names, or ask shop owner if the other kids where nearby. I don’t think my kid knows anyone other tha…

> now you’d need a cell phone, and giving one to a 5~8 year kid is still not practical. I'm not sure about that; there are phones specifically designed for that market (e.g., Firefly), after all.

There are, but it comes with the baggage of contracting an additional phone line, and more importantly having it charged at all times and on the kid.

Even just the risk of breaking, losing or getting it stolen is not negligeable.

It’s a viable option depending on the kid and the environment , I just feel kids phone are still too clunky to be worth it. I’d prefer to go straight for a regular smartphone once the kid is big enough to properly take care of it.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#342

Post by artur_makly »

ashark wrote: post #73
westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

this IS the biggest parental challenge of the century since it will affect every cognitive, emotional, and social development of our next gen.

My wife and I decided to ban our son (now 5) from all digital consumption as long as possible. we went hard-edged when we noticed his uncontrollable addiction. it was all he asked for daily. nothing else mattered. no interest in the robot cubetto we bought him, reading, playing with toys, or even being very communicative.

sure it was EASY to just hand him the digital pacifier when he was 1,2,3 yrs old. now we see the start of the epidemic before our eyes. its real but we are taking back control and starting on a healthy hands-on path of learning and having fun the good ol way.

and if he ends up being in the minority - so be it. at least he will be a a whole human being with empathy who can create, dance, run for miles, focus, communicate, and think critically miles beyond his zombified peers. Its never too late.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#343

Post by kenning »

gowld wrote: post #223
kenning wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some research suggests excessive restriction on screen use may be worse, and it's not abnormal for boys to use devices more than girls http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-12-14-children%E2%80%99s-scree...

The article drums that line, but the research cited says that screen time is irrelevant. They also didn't measure screen time, they relied on parents self-reporting which may be very high or low (reflecting parental self-image,not actual screen time). And the research didn't look at long-term effects, only short-term. And it waved off that high screen time may be merely correlated to poverty and unengaged parenting,…

Theres thousands of studies on this kind of thing, and you could find one to support any belief. Here's a list of studies with several different findings: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/is-video-gaming-... Here's another, with some contradictory findings: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/08/08/3388554... One interesting study in that second set actually said that a small amount of gaming per day, less than an hour, was beneficial -- better than not at all.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#344

Post by artur_makly »

zghst wrote: post #168
dilap wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i feel this. (in SF.) i think it's extra bad here in SF because most people have really small apts, so not great for getting a group together at a house. end up in kinda-shitty over-priced bars. meh. (there's probably cooler places/things going on and i just haven't discovered them. maybe?)

It took me nearly a year to crack into the SF nightlife scene. There are a staggering amount of events going on in the city and Oakland, you just have to meet the right people. Unfortunately, you won’t find these people at expensive bars. Hanging around dance places and being proactively social (or a dance maniac) is a good start (Public Works, 1015 Folsom, Nocturnal Codes, etc). Eventually you’ll be invited to the m…

or just look for BurningMan parties or meetups.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#345

Post by tluyben2 »

westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

I am double your age; I was at that time, and am again, addicted to computing. I thought, until I was 17, that leaving my computer and programming env was a frivolous waste of my time (my parents indeed echoed that idea). Then I got interested in playing the guitar and went to uni; I spent around 6 years partying and playing in bands. I would not have missed that for the world as it did wonders for my social skills, but, I can imagine it is considered waste of time by many. For my brain (luckily I had uni) it was not very good and for my wallet it was very bad. If your parents pay their last money to get you through a good highschool and college (in NL this was mostly free or very cheap compared) I can especially imagine that feeling.

I do think that it is was worth it for me, but then again, I would say that. Also I now do not believe everything has to have ‘worth’ anymore (I did then and I wanted to become a pro musician,but found it monotonous and annoying even as an amateur; every day the same songs...). Or maybe doing nothing or frivolous things has it’s own worth.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#346

Post by scotty79 »

yayadarsh wrote: post #254
joaomacp wrote: post #203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

22 here. I agree with everything except the ads part. Me and my friends are so used to identifying and quickly ignoring ads from a young age, that they have become largely uneffective on us. Comparatively my not-so-techie friends and family, that haven't grown up so used to ads, tend to be more influenced by them and purchase more stuff (my dad clicks facebook ads more regularly than me and my friends).

This is a common misconception. Advertising does not need to be hidden to "work". Advertising is not just facebook ads (which you admit to clicking, although not as regularly as your dad), but also involves creating positive sentiment for a brand or product over time through techniques like mere exposure. I Wwnt to preface that I do understand where you are coming from, and spent many years agreeing with the sentimen…

I ignore ads on the web completely. I think I got like that thanks to games. I can focus on the thing I came here for and ignore nearly all unassociated often animated crap. Things that get me are disgusting ads. Not sure why but I don't filter them out automatically. Same for overtly sexual ads. Rest is just background. People were praising adblock but I never bothered because it didn't do much for me.

On the other hand my non-gamer gf can't understand how I can read or play a flash game when it's surrounded by few animated banners.

And my mom starts to read each page from top left corner as if it was a letter she got from IRS or sth.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#347

Post by kiliantics »

dragonwriter wrote: post #91
cutler wrote: post #87

Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. We just can't see the danger in technology so long as we're blinded by everything shiny. Human beings are primarily social beings and no, that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen. In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sens…

> Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. Technology is never to blame for anything, because technology is not a moral actor; people may be to blame for the manner in which they use technology. OTOH, people have been falsely conflating “the youth of today seem to have a different lifestyle than I preferred in my youth” with “society is sick” for at least as long as we have historical evide…

I think you're right that technology is not to blame, though it could be a factor due to how we relate with technology.

I think society is still sick and it's because we are more alienated[0] from our roles in it than we ever have been. This is somewhat connected with our use of modern technology but has more to do with our economic relations with each other and with the material world.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#348

Post by dorchadas »

tomcam wrote: post #302
codekilla wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Raising children with technology is certainly a challenge. I have 5 kids, oldest 8 years old, youngest 15 months, living in a condo in LA because...you know......f'ing real estate prices, single family homes with 1200 square feet are 1.3 million in our district. So how do you let kids be free if they can't even go outside really?...and multiple kids in a condo without some kind of T.V. or tablet is utter insanity. It…

I love that you had five kids. Kids are wonderful and our population is declining. You’re doing the best thing for yourself – and the best thing for society.

Is it best for society, though? The earth is already massively overpopulated. Perhaps it's best if some populations decline. And is it the best for himself if, for instance, the kids grow up to hate OP because of, say, global warming forcing them to fight to survive? Or if he has to live to see them struggle with that?

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#349

Post by codekilla »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #337
codekilla wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a pretty charged topic, and it's difficult to make the case unequivocally. In our family, it got to the point where people were emailing research papers(academics and doctors in the family) back and forth and Christmas was ruined. I don't have time to cite all the papers on both sides of this, but for us(my wife feels even more strongly about this than I do), it came down to the realization that AT BEST all t…

Don’t like pink or princess stuff for my daughter, but a few minor things slipped through the cracks. Should I get rid of them?

We struggled quite a bit with this question. I think our initial instinct was to be a bit militant about it, but the reality is there is so much of this in our society that unless you're willing to go full Captain Fantastic they will inevitably be exposed to these types of things growing up. It happens through relatives, well-meaning friends, birthday parties, school, media, etc, it's impossible to try and weed it all out. I guess now we take the approach where if someone gives them something we wouldn't, we don't make a big deal about it, especially not in front of the kids. Kids are very malleable and fickle, and as soon as they forget about it(maybe an hour, a day, whatever), we just throw it away. We do make it clear to our immediate family what we don't find appropriate, but at the same time, we're fully conscious of the culture we are a part of. It's not necessarily an easy line to walk, and there isn't really much guidance out there, but we feel it's important to be strong in our course, without being so inflexible given the realities.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#350

Post by codekilla »

dorchadas wrote: post #348
tomcam wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I love that you had five kids. Kids are wonderful and our population is declining. You’re doing the best thing for yourself – and the best thing for society.

Is it best for society, though? The earth is already massively overpopulated. Perhaps it's best if some populations decline. And is it the best for himself if, for instance, the kids grow up to hate OP because of, say, global warming forcing them to fight to survive? Or if he has to live to see them struggle with that?

https://www.amazon.com/End-Doom-Environmental-Renewal-Twenty...

Perhaps we should all read this, or at least look at it from a different perspective, as I confess I do not study these issues carefully, but I don't think any type of neo-Malthusianism is worthwhile.

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