Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

gavinray97.github.io

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

331–340 of 452 posts

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#331

Post by gavinray »

forkit wrote: post #209

Is programming underrated art form when it comes to helping people come out of such situations? Addiction or depression. It easier to get paid, you can be in a flow state for hours. Enough to forget about other addictions. and less likely to be high always while programming

  > and less likely to be high always while programming
It depends on the drug. If you're an amphetamine/meth addict (or other designer stimulants), you very well might be coding for days on end. I certainly was.

It will even get to the point where you feel dependent on them to focus and "get things done", like being sober is a handicap.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#333

Post by gavinray »

mexicocitinluez wrote: post #311
isamuel wrote: post #5

I’m curious (as a recovered alcoholic myself) how you got sober.

Recovered opiate addict and for me it was a mix of everything: Some advice I had gotten from NA meetings, finally doing something about the other mental health issues I was dealing with, and most importantly: medications that prevented me from using (methadone/suboxone). It was definitely a process (that included multiple jail stints and only god knows how many treatment centers), but 10 years later life is pretty aw…

Hell yeah, congrats on 10 years of living actual life.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#335

Post by gavinray »

wallst07 wrote: post #299
jdw64 wrote: post #298

How can someone get up in such a difficult situation? That's impressive

Survivorship bias... many people don't, the stories of the few that do are impressive and worthy of hearing.

This is true. It requires a combination of luck, support, and persistence.

You can help cultivate "luck" to a degree by increasing your number of experiences. Every person you happen across could be the one to change your life, and every job application could be the one that calls you back. You never know who is standing next to you in line.

And "support" you can tilt in your favor by trying to be a genuinely good person and being pleasant to be around + making others feel good. Humans gravitate towards people that they like being around.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#336

Post by gavinray »

regularmother wrote: post #261

Thanks for sharing this story and congratulations on finding a way back up. So many people never do. > people willing to judge me by what I could do next instead of only by what I had done before I think this is a really tragic take so common in the United States. It feels like, at least to me, that societal trust has broken down so much that people are broadly unwilling to take a chance on anyone. Jail is supposed t…

I will not get started on the US Criminal "Justice" system. I could write a book on the horrors I saw in there.

We need a bigger emphasis on rehabilitation. It ultimately costs LESS for society.

I can also tell you from my 3 years in prison + jail that the grand majority of people in there do not have the innate desire or intention to change.

But for the small percentage that do, they deserve the resources and opportunity.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#337

Post by gavinray »

13hours wrote: post #274

Many very interesting stories here of people that took similar paths. As the parent of a teenager that used to be an absolute model student, but recently (last year) started rebellious behaviour, tanking their academics with it, I'm curious how many with similar stories think they would have or could have taken a different path with better or different parental support? We're trying our very best to support and guide…

  > I'm curious how many with similar stories think they would have or could have taken a different path with better or different parental support?
I'm sorry to hear about your kid. I'll be honest with you: it depends almost wholly on their disposition when it comes to reinforcement style.

I only respond to extreme, repeated negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement never did anything for me.

If your child responds to positive reinforcement in any way, there's a good chance you can support them through it. But if they're like me, they may "only learn the hard way."

And I don't mean negative reinforcement as in physical punishment or being talked down to, but having to live through direct negative consequences of your action.

Sometimes I think "what if I could go back in time, and tell myself not to do XYZ", but I know myself well enough that I'm sure I would not listen.

I sincerely hope that things pan out for your family.

If you want the nuclear option, can you move away from the current environment? If they're young enough not to have a car, that's one way to at least guarantee a "fresh start" where they can't actively go down the current path. They'd need to find a new way into trouble, which is still wholly possible but requires more effort at least.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#338

Post by trumpdong »

smithoc wrote: post #224
zuzululu wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think earlier there were few HN users who didn't like my opinions on another thread, came here to flag and downvote my comments and leave rather mean replies all over my profile. I don't think much of it and I forgive people who do it. Or maybe there really are people who think its okay to use AI to hire/filter candidates but not when candidates use AI to optimize to get around that screen. Using AI, I've been able…

So you've used AI to do fraud and you're confused why people are opposed to this? You're the reason companies are pushing return to office and putting candidates through gauntlets of interviews and homework - because otherwise they end up hiring someone who lied on their resume and is trying to collect 3 salaries until they get caught and fired.

How is that fraud?

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#339

Post by gavinray »

Vaslo wrote: post #207

As a libertarian right leaning guy I opened your story with pessimism but I really enjoyed it and greatly appreciated the personal responsibility you took in your situation. People should be inspired by this - it’s precisely because of personal responsibility that you are so successful.

I was fortunate to have the help of others ("No man is an island unto himself") but I do think that having the mindset of not being owed anything helped me keep a positive perspective when things were their worst.

I'm not political, but I would consider myself left-leaning Libertarian.

My mother is an Ayn Rand-loving die-hard Libertarian that was very active in politics. She gave me a lot of her books that I read in my youth.

I was raised in a very "The world owes you nothing, you only deserve what you earn." and "by your bootstraps" capitalist family.

(Family did not pay for my first car, my community college, etc. "Go get a job, you bum!")

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#340

Post by [deleted] »

coldtea wrote: post #54
ProllyInfamous wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The wrecklessness which brings some people into prison, is what brings them & others lusting towards motorcycle culture, often shortly upon release. Something something something anti-social something. I'm just offering real-world advice after witnessing all the broken bones and jerked roadrash upon this tattoo'd convict's broken body. Shouldn't be alive.

Billions of people have a motorcycle globally... Some anecdote from a chronically motorcycle adverse culture (US) doesn't mean a whole mean of transport is invalid...

[deleted]
Post reply on HN