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How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

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Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#331

Post by raybb »

left-struck wrote: post #330

> if you must ask questions, imply the correctness of your originally held position by wording your question suggestively I don’t really understand this, what would an example look like?

If my position is that we need to pass the regional transit funding measure in the Bay area then I might say:

What do you think of the regional transit funding measure? Seems like it'd be a real disaster if BART stops running at 9PM.

In that way you're signaling your support and they'll probably just continue the conversation in the same direction.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#332

Post by throwaway173738 »

aforwardslash wrote: post #314
scubbo wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> - if you must ask questions, convince yourself you must not, just figure it out instead God, this one hurts. In the first couple months at my new role (which I intentionally chose to be one that would stretch and challenge me as I'm looking for some professional growth), a senior member of my team expressed the view that he'd rather someone spend three days researching than ask him a thirty-second question. When I…

> a senior member of my team expressed the view that he'd rather someone spend three days researching than ask him a thirty-second question I have never met a senior that would dare to take such a stance; he may be willing to learn, but we will not both cover his knowledge gap and improve his own cv at the company expense. I have no idea if you are competent or not, but it doesnt really matter if you are the one deci…

Yeah I was just thinking I’d PIP someone who repeatedly expressed that attitude.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#333

Post by exodust »

mapontosevenths wrote: post #301
Barrin92 wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>One heuristic for spotting when you might be wrong is that you hold a very uncommon belief. this is only the case in a 'wisdom of the crowd' world where people hold uncorrelated, authentic, self-formed opinions. If you're in a world of mass opinion and mania where ideas spread virally it ceases to be an indicator. In that environment its not truth that determined popularity of a belief, but how transmittable they ar…

> If you're in a world of mass opinion and mania where ideas spread virally it ceases to be an indicator. Not really. It continues to be an indicator, just a less reliable one. As I said, it's one heuristic. It increases your probability of being right more than it decreases it, but it isn't an absolute rule. Fundamentally, science itself relies on this heuristic to some extent. The idea that an experiment be reprodu…

> You are allowed to be wrong and happy

Nobody said you can't. They said the happiness is "decoupled from truth", which isn't ideal if we care about objective health of a society.

Your position seems to imply support for society-level submission to religious dogma. There's no point ignoring actual examples of all these ideas.

Hold an "uncommon belief"? According to you, it's a sign you're wrong. "the world isn't crazy, it's you who's missing something"... and you even say "let people continue being wrong for the sake of being social."

I don't think you meant to express support for strict religious rule and population submission, but that's how I'm reading it.

Your argument supports those who seek submission from the population. You don't require objective truth to play a role in happiness. You have found value in submission that serves to neutralise dissent. Dissent when coming from the few, isn't worth your time. Peg those few dissenters as "probably wrong" and call it a day.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#334

Post by hackable_sand »

justonceokay wrote: post #226
dogleash wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can agree with you while still agreeing with parent poster that it's basically "git gud"-tier bullying. Very very few orators can successfully pull off "just fix your problems bro" as anything beyond a generic kick in the pants for the people presently predispositioned to be motivated by one.

I regularly bully my close friends into being better people. It just so happens that I fell down the staircase of life much earlier than a lot of people do. I had to do most of my “midlife crisis” thinking in my early 20s because most of my family died and I had to come out as gay without any support. Now that I’m in my 30s I have the joy of helping my friends along on this journey called life. Sometimes people just…

I'm trying to figure out how to manage a similar situation.

It's like your friends wanna party raid but they keep going in with incomplete builds

I only got so much patience before I find a new guild

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#335

Post by fnord77 »

zoogeny wrote: post #309
poemxo wrote: post #194

I am guessing the author is either criticizing people who are anti-social (in the pop culture definition) or believes he was before and after some thinking arrived at the conclusion that antisociety was not the way. But I don't feel it describes my internal motivations, so I've translated them to my behaviors: - if someone is confusing or upsetting you, assume it is your fault - interpret others' actions in the conte…

As others have noted, this is avoidant behavior, not anti-social. Worth taking a look at the Wikipedia for Attachment styles [1]. The two types are Dismissive-Avoidant and Fearful-Avoidant. Either can be superficially mistaken for anti-social, although Dismissive-avoidant tends to present a bit closer to anti-social. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

I thought attachment theory was debunked

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#336

Post by rramadass »

DoughHook wrote: post #220

This is a list about how to have a flame war. If you really want incoherent and isolating social experiences here is what you do: - spend most of your time online - overthink any form of social outreach and don't do it - open reddit/HN/youtube/content_platform when you feel anything negative - look at porn when you feel lonely - constantly analyze other people's perception of you You will then stifle your social skil…

Surprisingly on point; far better than the OP's silly list.

However, a study of Philosophy may convince one that "it is better to be sane alone than be mad with the crowd".

What does Albert Camus mean by "Beginning to think is beginning to be undermined" in Myth of Sisyphus? - https://www.reddit.com/r/askphilosophy/comments/c1ohej/what_...

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#337

Post by NateEag »

legacynl wrote: post #118
ernesto905 wrote: post #29

> when all hope is lost in conversation, retreat into your self This speaks to me quite a bit, particularly around unfalsifiable topics I'll have with friends/family, such as theology. If we define hope as the idea they'll change their mind and agree with me, seems not much one can do but retreat into themself, right? I suppose I can sympathize with their sentiment before I retreat into myself, but taking this bullet…

(If you're an atheist) You shouldn't debate theology with religious people. The whole idea of religion is that they 'believe' despite their experiences, facts, reasoning and logic. There's literally nothing to gain from using logic and reasoning to debate religious people. edit: also the article is sarcastic. You shouldn't retreat into yourself just because you cannot agree on something. Talk about something else.

Some religious people believe because of their experiences.

See the (very rare, statistically) experiencers of spontaneous remissions the Catholic Church declares miraculous healings, such as Dafne Gutierrez:

https://catholic-miracles.com/miracle/charbel-makhlouf-dafne...

I'm not personally sure that's a supernatural event, but if I'd had my eyes deteriorating for years, undergone multiple failed surgeries to stave off blindness, become fully blind, had doctors tell me I was irrepairably blind, and lived without eyesight for years, then had it come back within two days of praying to a Catholic saint for healing...

Well, I doubt I'd still be agnostic after that.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#338

Post by [deleted] »

poemxo wrote: post #194

I am guessing the author is either criticizing people who are anti-social (in the pop culture definition) or believes he was before and after some thinking arrived at the conclusion that antisociety was not the way. But I don't feel it describes my internal motivations, so I've translated them to my behaviors: - if someone is confusing or upsetting you, assume it is your fault - interpret others' actions in the conte…

[deleted]

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#339

Post by [deleted] »

slowmover wrote: post #154

"dig in your heels when confronted with overwhelming dissent" Sorry, sticking to this one. Call me anti-social if you want, but facing overwhelming dissent may indicate you're the lone free-thinker in an echo chamber. Being that one guy who's always prodding the hivemind with a pokey stick has value in my opinion (though you will end up getting stung on occasion).

[deleted]

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#340

Post by kulahan »

lkramer wrote: post #238
DoughHook wrote: post #220

This is a list about how to have a flame war. If you really want incoherent and isolating social experiences here is what you do: - spend most of your time online - overthink any form of social outreach and don't do it - open reddit/HN/youtube/content_platform when you feel anything negative - look at porn when you feel lonely - constantly analyze other people's perception of you You will then stifle your social skil…

`constantly analyze other people's perception of you` I find this a really hard trap to escape...

Try purposely having a bad perception sometimes. I had the same problem. I couldn’t go out in public with anything less than perfect hair, or perfect clothes, or whatever. A few days of dressing in basketball shorts, shirts with holes, and unkempt hair, I noticed nobody gave a shit. Life is much more freeing when you do things the way you want (within reason) and curate a personal style.
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