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I rebooted my social life

takes.jamesomalley.co.uk

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Re: I rebooted my social life

#331

Post by tormeh »

nunez wrote: post #173
maplant wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Socializing is not a "dull chore" it is a essential component of healthy living[1] By not socializing, you are avoiding (to quote the linked article) a "fundamental human need." This is not something you can simply live without, just like you cannot live a good live without exercise. The view you are espousing is fundamentally unhealthy. [1] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11403199/

It definitely can be a chore. I organized a large (600+-person at its peak) Meetup in Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY during Meetup's hayday (2010-ish). Meeting heaps of different people from all walks of life was interesting at first. But like a previous poster stated, connections like these are fleeting and take a lot of work to maintain (especially if you're a man, which I am; see the end of this post for more on that).…

Have you tried getting meta about sports and video games? I don't care about sports, but I'll be interested if you talk to me about the business of sports clubs or the technicalities of stadiums. Video games have a lot going on around them: The lawsuits and general weirdness around how Disco Elysium was made is the stuff of several documentaries, for example.

Anecdotally, I'd say women are worse when it comes to interests. It's incredibly common that they just don't have any, which isn't the end of the world, oddly enough. There might be little to discuss, but drinking some wine, going to the movies or a gallery while having a pleasant conversation - these can be fine activities. Hard to turn it into a club, but on the other hand it's basically universal.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#332

Post by q-base »

OGEnthusiast wrote: post #309
delayedrelease wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly don't enjoy hanging out with people who don't have kids anymore. Our lives have diverged so much that we rarely have much in common.

Yeah, there's really not much that a single 45-year old guy has in common with a 45-year old whose married with kids. Maybe on paper they may appear to have similar jobs, live in similar places, etc. but they are on vastly different life paths with completely different interests (personal, political, social, etc.).

If you look for the holes in the cheese you will find them.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#334

Post by eamo_d »

JodieBenitez wrote: post #333

> we were living the sort of middle class-ish lifestyle where we could afford multiple foreign holidays a year. That's an upper class thing to me. Am I poor ? Or are the class definitions too vague ?

Inter European travel is quite cheap so considering the author is based in the UK, this is middle class.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#335

Post by JodieBenitez »

eamo_d wrote: post #334
JodieBenitez wrote: post #333

> we were living the sort of middle class-ish lifestyle where we could afford multiple foreign holidays a year. That's an upper class thing to me. Am I poor ? Or are the class definitions too vague ?

Inter European travel is quite cheap so considering the author is based in the UK, this is middle class.

I'm european and don't find inter european travel cheap. I guess I'm poor :-)

Re: I rebooted my social life

#336

Post by Roark66 »

For people that need this ir is no doubt a nice article, but as someone in a very similar circumstances to the author you do not need an in real life social circle if you're happy without one.

People often glorify time before social media and the Internet. But both have been a huge blessing. I went from feeling like an odd person with very superficial connections to people that didn't really share my interests IRL to having deep connections with people that do, and live on another continent for example.

If the idea of "rebooting your social circle" makes you happy, go for it. If not, that is fine too. Living in the middle of nowhere now I do not miss living in a big city, commuting and talking to hundreds of random people every day one bit.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#337

Post by lazide »

RamblingCTO wrote: post #330
lazide wrote: post #328

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you know the rules of this site?

Are you trying to say that you read my comment as snarky? That's not on me. If you read the article the connection must be clear imho.

Saying 'have you read the article' is explicitly against the rules.

And I have.

You seem to be saying the equivalent of 'omg, having an exercise routine is terrible. exercise should be all about spontaneity and a healthy lifestyle'.

The two are interrelated and not exclusive. Which is my point.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#338

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

Personally, I’m “on the spectrum, just a bit,” which means I make a great hermit. I have no problem, being insular.

But I actually have a pretty large social circle.

That’s because I participate in volunteer/social service organizations.

I always advocate this for people who might feel “unfocused.”

There are many upsides.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#339

Post by [deleted] »

johnfn wrote: post #318
urban_strike wrote: post #282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I've been trying to wrap my head around this recently. I always get a bit irked by the inevitable comments confidently asserting things like "humans are social animals, if you think you don't need tight social connections you're just hurting yourself". And then pointing to these results averaged out over the entire population as "proof". It seems like there's got to be some statistical fallacy being made, like…

If it helps you understand the other side - very many people, and I consider myself one of them, went through a long part of life without realizing that "humans are social animals". In my case I was very unhappy for a very long time until I realized that socialization was the missing ingredient. Worse, I didn't even realize I was unhappy, and I had persuaded myself I was fine. When you have this sort of a revelation,…

[deleted]

Re: I rebooted my social life

#340

Post by simonask »

OGEnthusiast wrote: post #309
delayedrelease wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly don't enjoy hanging out with people who don't have kids anymore. Our lives have diverged so much that we rarely have much in common.

Yeah, there's really not much that a single 45-year old guy has in common with a 45-year old whose married with kids. Maybe on paper they may appear to have similar jobs, live in similar places, etc. but they are on vastly different life paths with completely different interests (personal, political, social, etc.).

Interesting conversations and connections are with those people who are different from yourself, not with those who share the same experience of everything.
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