Earlier quoted context omitted.
If the kid isn't enjoying the piano lessons, will forcing them to do it for 20 minutes every day really be beneficial? Sure, they will now be able to do something - something that they absolutely hate... (also, why is it always piano that parents try to force on children?)
Yep, 6 years of being forced to play the violin. Sure, once I was playing it, I was fine, but I cannot explain to you the sheer dread I felt opening up the case. Have not played in decades, despite all those lessons and concerts and orchestra sessions.
Don't force your kids to do math
331–340 of 437 posts
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#332> Without realizing it, he was doing algebra. A friend of mine taught remedial math at UW to incoming freshmen. She would write: x + 2 = 5 on the blackboard and ask a student "what is the value of x?" The student would see the x, and immediately respond with x means algebra, algebra is hard, I cannot do algebra. So she started writing: _ + 2 = 5 and ask the student to fill in the blank. "Oh, it's 3!"
There is a game called dragonbox algebra which I'm currently working through with my son and is an absolutely fantastic approach to this problem. Sadly its now part of a horrendous subscription service and is hard to access. I find it really sad that we've had computers for decades and there are so few good maths games like this.
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#333Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I’m sure most people If you live in the bubble where you experience this, congratulation you live a wonderfully privileged life, never interact with anyone or are totally oblivious to the experiences of all the people you interact with on a daily basis.
So your parenting advice is to teach your kids to do things they hate while suppressing their feelings so they can be like the average unhappy person?
Sometimes you have to eat a shit sandwich.
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#334> Without realizing it, he was doing algebra. A friend of mine taught remedial math at UW to incoming freshmen. She would write: x + 2 = 5 on the blackboard and ask a student "what is the value of x?" The student would see the x, and immediately respond with x means algebra, algebra is hard, I cannot do algebra. So she started writing: _ + 2 = 5 and ask the student to fill in the blank. "Oh, it's 3!"
The semantic meaning of a blank is much better understood to everyone than an arbitrary letter like 'x'. People just want to know why it's x and not something else or how a letter can have value. They might even think how can 24 + 2 = 5? They just want something to grab onto and nobody is really teaching the concept of a symbol in a math class.
10•_ + _ = 73
Now try saying the answer: “7 and 3”. This gets vague quite quickly —- which blank is 7 and which is 3?Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#335Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#336Very poor take. The author clearly has very limited experience with raising kids. Most kids won't do difficult things if you don't push them. Playing music, learning to spell correctly, doing mathematics, and so on. A very small minority of kids will do all of that easily and for the fun, but you can't rely on it. If you don't push your kid to do their 20 minutes of piano every day, they will half-ass it and will sto…
The really important thing is to teach kids to find their joy. At the end of my second year of piano lessons, my teacher took me into her living room, and we listened to Glen Miller records for most of the hour. And then we had a cup of tea, and she told me, "this is the music that I love. I play piano because I love that music, and I want to be able to play it myself. What kind of music do you like?" I didn't really…
We fail at teaching a means with no end. Help them find an interesting end and they will achieve it by any means necessary.
Our job as parents is to expose our kids to a wide variety of disciplines so that they can find their interest.
I read that Elon Musk runs his private school this way. The kids narrow their focus quite early on. But of course there's tons of depth to study. So they actually get somewhere.
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#337Earlier quoted context omitted.
So your parenting advice is to teach your kids to do things they hate while suppressing their feelings so they can be like the average unhappy person?
Parenting, having and raising children, including but not limited to the act of giving birth is the ultimate example. There are many "piano lessons" along that journey. Sometimes you have to eat a shit sandwich.
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#338Earlier quoted context omitted.
Do you do things because someone force you or beacuse you have self motivation?
As an adult, you develop the agency to force yourself to do things you don't like doing I can tell you as someone who was never forced into any extracurricular activities and was forced to go to church-schools that you probably should force your kids to learn something well (and not send them to religious schools)
Re: Don't force your kids to do math
#339On the other hand, some things require study and practice to be really good at, and that is "work", and many kids don't want to do the work.
Our boy, who just turned 9, is very good at math (his school's standardized tests put him at 99th percentile in the US for his grade level, though 1) I don't put a lot of stock in those standardized tests, and 2) the US doesn't exactly rank high in math skills, so this is less impressive than it sounds). He's not a genius, but he grasps concepts quickly and fairly intuitively. He's curious about the world, asks lots of questions, and is capable of understanding and retaining many scientific concepts that kids older than him would struggle with. (Example: two days ago, he was asking me about quantum computers and I mentioned that they need to be kept very cold, he asked whether they use oxygen, because oxygen turns to liquid at -173C. I thought he just made that up, but when I checked (I didn't know myself), he was pretty close (the actual number is -183C.) So he has the innate talent to work with.
But despite his gifts, he still needs practice for the math concepts to take root, and without that he makes a fair share of basic mistakes; and he still needs to improve his logic reasoning skills. So he has daily math homework after school (because math instruction in elementary schools in the US is low). We use Singapore Math workbooks (I've tried various apps and online programs, and honestly, paper workbooks are just better--but that's another topic).
He knows he's good at math and wants to continue to excel at it. (Just like a talented basketball player doesn't reach his full potential without working at it, something I repeatedly emphasize to him.) BUT he still struggles every single day to do his homework, because he prefers to play video games, shoot hoops, etc. (loves basketball, football, soccer, but has a lifelong physical disability that will prevent him from ever playing a team sport, to his great chagrin). I have to push him every single day or he would simply not do it. He actually wants to do math, and when we talk about it, he'll confirm that, but when it comes time to actually do it, he just doesn't have the willpower. (I mean, what kid prefers to practice math problems instead of play video games?). Hopefully he'll get the willpower at some point when he's older. But that day has not yet come.
That was a long reply to say: it sometimes does take a lot of pushing.