331–340 of 373 posts
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Read the guidelines and in general don’t call people an “incel” because they disagree with you.
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It does imply a potentially interesting algorithm though: Show all of the women to all of the men. From this you get numbers on which women are the most highly rated. Then, show women a) men who are at the same percentile as them or below and b) the smaller number of men who have already liked them. The result is that 60th percentile women end up primarily liking 60th percentile men and so on, because they're the hig…
You missed the fundamental point. The only ranking that can be done via a dating app is a ranking of the attributes that can be shared via a dating app. That will always leave out the attributes that would otherwise be shared via person-to-person interaction. The only way to meaningfully change this situation is by sorting/ranking after interpersonal interaction.
In theory you could just stop showing the top 5% of men to anyone, but that's pretty useless. Then the 90-95th percentile men would get all the matches and you haven't solved anything.
You could assign percentiles at random so that some 80th percentile women only see 40th percentile men and vice versa, but that seems less likely to work for obvious reasons.
The problem you need to solve is to get the 60th percentile women to go on a date with the 60th percentile men to begin with. What happens then is up to them, but at least you're putting people in a situation that could lead to something, instead of the one:many matching that sucks for everyone except the players.
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If you’re good looking, you’re not going to be wasting time on apps These days, saying hi seems to be risky for more reasons than rejection. Maybe more so if you’re not good looking. Hence the apps
> These days, saying hi seems to be risky for more reasons than rejection. Maybe more so if you’re not good looking. Hence the apps Its actually not, and that so many guys believe that just leaves the field unguarded What women say online about not wanting to be approached practically anywhere is a vocal minority, and other women don't even see these conversations Positive interactions with men are not even categoriz…
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You missed the fundamental point. The only ranking that can be done via a dating app is a ranking of the attributes that can be shared via a dating app. That will always leave out the attributes that would otherwise be shared via person-to-person interaction. The only way to meaningfully change this situation is by sorting/ranking after interpersonal interaction.
The article identifies a very specific problem. Women will swipe through the app and reject the bottom 95% of the men immediately, but then all of them women end up matching with only 5% of the men. This is useless to both the 95% of men who don't get any matches and the 95% of women who can't all be in a monogamous relationship with that 5% of men. In theory you could just stop showing the top 5% of men to anyone, b…
The top 5% of men would be a completely different group if it was measured differently. It's not the actual men we are ranking here, it's their profiles.
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What's the alternative? Complain that you never get a match? The recommendation to only contact people you think are a perfect match and then send a customized message doesn't work.
When people match with me, then read my profile, get mad about what's in my profile, send me a message expressing said anger, and then unmatch, it's a big waste of time. And that's actually the best case scenario. Worst case they don't read the profile at all and keep stringing me along. The first time I joined a dating website I got a like from a person who I would have thought was way out of my league. I was really…
Any idea which dating app Paul Gonsolin is talking about here? This is a lot of data.
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> These days, saying hi seems to be risky for more reasons than rejection. Maybe more so if you’re not good looking. Hence the apps Its actually not, and that so many guys believe that just leaves the field unguarded What women say online about not wanting to be approached practically anywhere is a vocal minority, and other women don't even see these conversations Positive interactions with men are not even categoriz…
I am above average in looks and while lots of people do like being approached, it is sometimes not so fun. I've been stalked, assaulted, molested - this is not an issue you'll hit online. And it's easier to filter the really bad news without any possibility of someone following you home.
its important that everyone else knows this has no bearing on whether they can approach at all, and simply choose not to stalk, assault, molest.
the issue (and proof) is the lack of accountability to those that harassed you, lots of guys believe they will be marked as one of those harassers from simply saying hi. when its much more likely thats not so, and the issue becomes the lack of accountability for the person overfitting and accusing in their attempt to filter out actual harassers
we can create accountability in both scenarios.
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The rate and experience of rejection does not seem to be symmetrical across the sexes by a significant degree. Of course nobody likes rejection, but this point doesn’t really advance the discussion.
They were responding to "women are worse at handling rejection", and if they disagree with that (as I do too) then it is advancing the conversation to say so, even though it doesn't advance a part of the conversation that specifically explains dating app use.
Women handle rejection with anger, resentment, and vitriol towards the rejecting party. So much so that I’ve seen people get married and divorced because the man was basically bullied into sticking around, and she left in the end anyways. Happens all the fucking time.
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if women left the app, guys would leave. possibility of connecting with women is what's being sold to paying customers on dating apps. Without ladies, the men leaves and the app dies.
It isn't all women who leave, it's the ones who refuse to have anything to do with men in the same percentile as they are themselves. And you couldn't sell that to men anyway.