OMG! This is crazy. I literally drafted up a blog post with the same plan of action. I just didn't want to delete my social presence just yet and was trying to figure out how to do it. Reading through every sentence of your blog post, I could totally relate. Wow. This really is such a uncanny coincidence.
I deleted my social media accounts
331–340 of 500 posts
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#332Why do people feel the incessant need to post about deleting/not using social media. They're clearly hypocrites as posting to a blog or HN is pretty much the same thing.
Corporate social media with a feed designed to maximize engagement monetized with targeted advertising is a very different thing from a blog out a forum.
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#333Earlier quoted context omitted.
>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…
also in the old days, your friend bob would have told cory, "hey, did you hear alice's dad died? we should all go out for drinks". but we live in the bowling alone era, where we're increasingly isolated. quitting social media is not, on its own, going to fix your social life. and being on social media can make you more connected, or more miserable. the responsibility is yours
I'm not sure I agree, but I'm not disagreeing on principle.
You make it sound as if something was lost, maybe recently. In the grand scheme of things I'm not that old (41) but I don't even remember how that would have worked out, because I wasn't old enough to have people's parents die before social media, at least in my social circles. Yes, of course you'd hear about grandparents and such from your immediate friends but that's usually a handful and people would maybe not be shaken as much. I agree with you that social media doesn't have to mean "blasting it to hundreds or thousands of followers", but it's a thing where I actually liked Facebook. Not only techies, and getting enough updates from people who are not your closest friends that you have things to talk about (as in reference) when you met again (or talked synchronously, or privately).
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#334How about a simple rule of thumb: you have to actually meet or talk with a "facebook friend" (every month or more) or else delete/unfriend them . If after a few months you have zero "facebook friends" nuke the account. Internet updates are no substitute for good old meat space.
Tell me you're young without telling me you're young. Friendships are more than just meat space meetings. Children, moving countries, crazy work schedules are all reasons that can prevent you being in the physical presence o your friends. Does not seeing them for years at a time make them less friends? No, not to me.
He said meet OR talk.
I think if you don't talk to someone in a few years it makes them less of a friend.
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#335Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on This doesn't really seem that important if your only method of knowing this was a post blasted to hundreds (or thousands) of people. Or, to put it another way: if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. I'd argue that social media has normalized keeping up with people who aren't supposed to b…
>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…
> I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me.
Nobody can expect that everyone is on social media, let alone a specific platform. You typically tell your family and some close friends and they will spread the word.
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#336Earlier quoted context omitted.
>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…
> I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. That seems so bizarre. Just 20+ years ago this sort of sympathy seeking broadcasting action was associated with mental health illness, like Munchausen Biproxy. Yes, back in the day if tragedy happened people would take deliberate effort to call each other.
> Just 20+ years ago this sort of sympathy seeking broadcasting action was associated with mental health illness, like Munchausen Biproxy.
Do you have a reference for the claim that the diagnostic criteria for Munchausen By Proxy (or Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another) once included broadcast-type notices when a family member dies? The DSM-IV would have been in effect 20 years ago, and while version 5 doesn't have that in its warning signs, I guess it could have changed from the previous version?
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#337I stay in touch with ppl that are important to me by writing or calling them once every 2 months. I do not care if they do the same. I am old now (almost 30) and came to the realization that all of our lifes are packet and busy and ppl are very bad at keeping up with other ppl that are not continuously presented to them. This is the price I have to pay to not be on instagram: writing my friends and ask them how they…
> I am old now (almost 30) I'm 45 and wondering if I should be offended by this....
I'm > 60 and if you can find me somewhere to sit and watch while I catch my breath you can beat the young whippersnapper about the upper body with my zimmer frame.
( TBH I still split wood by hand and walk long trails, etc. My father (born 1935) is showing signs of age now )
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#338[dead]
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#339I think commenters here are missing out on one beneficial part of social media - Facebook groups and communities of interest especially private, moderated groups. Broadcast and discussions are a perfect use case for it. And people talk about how bad Facebook is, LinkedIn is far worse. Everyone is trying to be a “thought leader” and no one is genuine on it. I have a decent LinkedIn Profile with recommendations, up to…
I use it for events.
I have to facebook friends that I don't interact with very much outside some electronic music events. This helps me find events that might interest me.
Some venues don't even put the dates on their website.
Re: I deleted my social media accounts
#340Earlier quoted context omitted.
> This doesn't really seem that important if your only method of knowing this was a post The landscape of human relationships is deep and broad an varied, and if making bold assumptions about what other people should value is your starting point, you're liable to miss a lot of potential connections.
Due to some unknown circumstances this might not be true for this person, but it’s certainly true for a lot of people. Social media used in that context is effectively automating human relationships. It used to take effort to have a handful of friends, now you can have hundreds. Somewhere along the way though, friendship turned from active effort to passive status.
Are these really friends though? Or just some people you met and appreciated in the past?