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My Time Working at Stripe

jondlm.github.io

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Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#331

Post by fragmede »

Tainnor wrote: post #129
fragmede wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are not your code, but putting my code up to be torn apart in a PR definitely feels like being vulnerable to me. It's a good thing for it to be torn apart and scrutinized, so as to make the product better, which is what we're all after, but it still touches a nerve when the reviewer is an ass about it.

This is definitely not what anyone would think of when prompted to "be vulnerable".

Yup. Absolutely zero percent chance a Jr dev's expressed vulnerability that day was "when I see sr dev is sitting at his desk muttering "stupid fucking idiots" and reviewing PRs, I get scared and anxious".

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#332

Post by fnordpiglet »

jalopy wrote: post #116
fnordpiglet wrote: post #30

These symptoms are a classic sign of burn out. One thing I notice in your writing is you’re very tied up in things having meaning and mattering in some specific way. This itself can lead to burnout because if everything must matter you must be emotionally invested in everything. But you can care without it mattering to you. You can do a good job without being totally invested in everything about it. You can love what…

Great advice. What books/resources do you suggest to follow more on this path of meditation (possibly also stoicism)?

For me I studied vipassana and Buddhism, and did the daily meditations with Gil Fronsdal[0] on his amazing audio dharma[1] which has a lot of resources (and his teachings dating back 25+ years recorded and freely available there). If you’re in the area you can visit the insight meditation center[2] in Redwood City.

I think these things helped me a lot in my recovery but I also don’t think it’s necessary or sufficient. I think my advice above is the real key, but vipassana and Buddhism give a pretty structured approach to achieve the appropriate detachment from what’s not truly real and the appreciation for what is. IMO that’s the basis for recovering from burnout durably. But the other thing is there’s no magic, it takes time.

0 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gil_Fronsdal 1 https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/1 2 https://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#333

Post by Brian_K_White »

wkjagt wrote: post #329
Brian_K_White wrote: post #271

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is abuse and the manager forced everyone to respond either by participating or by refusing to participate or by lying or by exposing that they actually have literally nothing interesting to say. If you don't get that, then you are probably out their making life 5% hell for half the people around you, in blissful ignorance thanks to the effort they all put in to catering to your inconsiderate interactions.

> making life 5% hell Not even sure what this means

checks out

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#334

Post by ValentinA23 »

a123b456c wrote: post #317
ValentinA23 wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happened to me. The result: - secret slack room to help me overcome my depression (wasn't invited of course, I just spotted it several times while looking at my colleagues' screens) - lowest paid member in the team, while also being one of if not the most productive. 12x: verified. 30x: speculated if I had control over the architecture. - 70h/week, no vacations, for 3 years. No paid overtime of any form. - Doubl…

I mean no harm, but I want to caution that you may have just over-shared in public again. I wish you well.

Why do you think it could be problematic ?

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#335

Post by ipaddr »

twelve40 wrote: post #237
hhh wrote: post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They absolutely can be. You can push back against your manager.

Still, you'd rather save your push back privileges - which come with a cost - for something actually important and work-related. Not for random crap like that, being put on the spot randomly in a personal way.

Use it and get more pushback power plus get caution when manager approaches. Getting labelled get can benefits and negatives.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#336

Post by yokoprime »

olivermuty wrote: post #9

What you are experiencing is the symptom of working in a large company where no matter how well you perform, you can not significantly move the needle yourself. Coupled with the fact that, as you yourself pointed out, there is a literal endless amount of work to do, forever. This is also due to the nature of the company being so big. All companies always has work to do, and no one is ever «done», but in a giga-enterp…

As someone who has been on a journey from a 6 man startup to a larger company going through a merger I’m really feeling the pull of creating/joining a new startup. If nothing else for the joy of being a small team on a mission and work with people who are really invested.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#337

Post by NotAnOtter »

DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

[flagged]

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#338

Post by underdeserver »

d0gsg0w00f wrote: post #266
DeathArrow wrote: post #40

I think the author had unrealistic expectations from working at a large company. He expected doing something meaningful that will change the world. He expected to be applauded like a hero for his efforts. But things don't work like that. If you work your ass out, don't expect more than a pat on the back. Managers won't care about your efforts, your mental state or your sleepless nights. They care about looking good i…

My big company strategy is to troll internal chats/forums for things that seem like interesting problems. Do something to fix them or make them suck a little less. Always be building solid, interesting things and make sure that if someone, for some reason finds them, that they would say "wow, this is cool, who made this?" Then I casually share links to those things in the right context. If I get a 10% hit rate then I…

I tried that for a while. Makes some of your peers happier, but almost never gets you any credit.

I'm not smart or quick enough to consistently do that and my job without it taking a toll, so it ends up not being worth it most of the time.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#339

Post by hansvm »

varispeed wrote: post #252
hansvm wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not "more" work; it's "different" work. I quite enjoy low-level optimizations, and all I have to do to work on that all day instead of coordination, meetings, and drudgery is convince people a few levels up the chain that the cost savings are huge and that the extra speed enables cool new features. It's corporate America, so I'm going to be unceremoniously fired eventually anyway, but in the meantime I might as…

> the cost savings are huge and that the extra speed enables cool new features. Been there. The savings were never passed down, but you could always enjoy photos of boss's new sports car or their month's trip to Borneo to "recharge" and think of new challenges. Ah sorry! I got an iPod once as a thank you. > "made a cool new thing increasing profits $XX million/yr" That may backfire. Nobody likes a new kid on the bloc…

> Savings were never passed down

Sure, that's the game. I get an extra bonus or raise or something with promotions, and more when I switch jobs, but nearly all the profit goes elsewhere. If you want to leave the upper-middle class you'll need to set out on your own eventually.

If you don't have a solid plan and life circumstances for building your own business yet though, why would you not do things the business likes, especially when it means your day-to-day is more palettable, it doesn't actually require any more work, and it has some moderate career impacts in case you never set out on your own?

> this may backfire

That's the same sort of logic that leads people to have asphalt roofs instead of white roofs in southern climates. You do, absolutely, alienate a significant fraction of buyers (employers). You command a premium at every place that's left though because they want you _because_ of the things that make you different. So long as you don't shrink the pool too much, each individual job is more lucrative.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#340

Post by akomtu »

I feel sorry for this guy, but he will be alright in the end. Corporations create a facade of a rosy kindergarten, they lure in smart but immature guys like him, extract their energy and once they look depleted, they gaslight them into thinking they are failures and throw them out.

"Until I had my next one on one with my boss. She shared with me some concerns about my communication and project management. She, and apparently others she gathered feedback from, felt like I hadn’t done a good enough job pulling other engineers into the project. She spoke of how proud she was of the outcome but that it didn’t excuse my less than ideal methods."

Manipulative managers like her willingly fuse themselves with the beast that is corporation, and become its tentacles of some sort.

But this guy has also learnt a lesson that he shouldn't seek happinesses in someone's approval. What his manager thinks of him matters very little and once he has grown out of this kindergarten mindset, he'll realise that he is his own judge and the only thing that matters and the only source of happiness is whether he does the right thing.

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