Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am not saying don't be pissed off, I am saying please channel that energy to help to fix the underlying problems/attitudes. I can give suggestions on how to do this, if you're interested to hear it, so we can maybe have a chance to finally get some issues fixed. Beating the same dead horse going on years now is just not going to help this, regardless of what your perceptions of certain developer's attitudes are. If…
Alright, I want this type-ahead feature. https://gitlab.gnome.org/GNOME/nautilus/-/issues/244 Not having type-ahead, instead using gnome's search, makes GTK apps really annoying for me. Right now I have a solution that involves patching, but presuming that my ultimate goal is just that one concessions, just have a flag buried somewhere that would enable type-ahead instead of search, how do you suggest I get that done…
If it does get rejected then you do the same thing you'd do with any other open source project: convince your distro to carry the patch. I think the key here is to just not lose sight of the goal which is to get enough support somewhere to have the patch maintained, if you don't care to become an upstream developer and work closely with them then you can skip that and just do the same process but only with a downstream that is relevant to you.
If the patch still needs a lot of work/money to get it to the point where it's stable and doesn't break other things, well, now you know why upstream doesn't want to do it... so with that I would say a way to help would be to commit to maintaining this for however many years you expect to be using the patch. I can't give you a specific quote (I don't have any interest in working on this, sorry) but based on average developer rates you probably should expect to spend at least a few thousand dollars on this total, over several years of maintenance time, if you are not the one who is going to be writing the code. Of course, you can reduce the burden on yourself by getting a distro to share the cost, which is why I suggested that first :)