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Tips for a Better Life

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331–340 of 488 posts

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#331

Post by tonyhb »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #329

76. After a breakup, cease all contact as soon as practical. The potential for drama is endless, and the potential for a good friendship is negligible. To me this kind of contradicts 43. Deficiencies do not make you special. The older you get, the more your inability to cook will be a red flag for people. In my experience one of the best questions to filter new partners is, how is your relationship with your former p…

Do you want someone who is still entangled with their pasts relationship? From experience, it's a lot easier to move on with a clean break. And it's a lot easier to date someone who has moved on with a clean break too.

A good alternate question to ask is why the relationship failed. If they accept responsibility for at least some of the issues, green flag. Otherwise, you can bet they accept no responsibility in other aspects of their life.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#332

Post by Jorengarenar »

mholm wrote: post #136
corytheboyd wrote: post #26

> 7. Don’t buy CDs for people. They have Spotify. Buy them merch from a band they like instead. It’s more personal and the band gets more money. What? Now I’m a bit more curious about the life of the author lol

I'm in the same boat, and I don't know anybody who still uses CDs. Maybe my 60+ year old uncle? If I received a CD as a gift, I wouldn't even have a way to play it, and haven't for almost a decade. I think my car has a CD player?

Hello! I'm in my twenties. I listen to music from vinyls, CDs and tapes. I also like to watch my VHS cassettes. Nice to meet you.

(now that you know about me, you cannot say you don't know about anybody who still uses CDs)

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#335

Post by arcticfox »

jiggawatts wrote: post #242
redleggedfrog wrote: post #16

"8. When buying things, time and money trade-off against each other. If you’re low on money, take more time to find deals. If you’re low on time, stop looking for great deals and just buy things quickly online." I'm finding, as I've gotten older, that almost every time I've chosen money over time I've made a bad decision. And I see this among my family and friends, too. There's a mentality that emerges when exchangin…

I've applied this a lot in my life. For example, holidays: Every day that I'm overseas, I lose about $1,000 because I'm a contractor and I'm not getting paid, plus the base expenses of the flights and hotel rooms. If I'm not getting a thousand dollars worth of value from a day, that money is wasted. Spending $50 at a normal restaurant is not "saving money", it's actually a waste of a day! Once you've sunk days into f…

I'm not sure how $200-300 is "saving money" unless you're not enjoying your trip at all with a $50 restaurant.

Maybe your friend that spent $5 on pizza was on the trip for something other than food?

Also depending on destination, $200 / night on dinner is usually higher than my total daily incl amortized flights, and I don't really cut corners on anything (ie flights, hotel, activities, meals). Your friend with the $5 pizza could proportionally save a lot of money compared to me.

Of course, food poisoning is a pretty extreme example, doesn't make sense to order from anywhere if it seems undafe.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#336

Post by redis_mlc »

paulpauper wrote: post #33
NortySpock wrote: post #24

I think the compassion section has the most wisdom in it, especially the reasoning behind the recommendation: 82. Call your parents when you think of them, tell your friends when you love them. 83. Compliment people more. Many people have trouble thinking of themselves as smart, or pretty, or kind, unless told by someone else. You can help them out. 84. If somebody is undergoing group criticism, the tribal part in yo…

91. don't buy XRP but in seriousness, I think it is easier to apply these rules to people you know than strangers. Look how often people lose patience with each other online. >85. Cultivate compassion for those less intelligent than you. Many people, through no fault of their own, can’t handle forms, scammers, or complex situations. Be kind to them because the world is not. Interestingly, being smart does not protect…

I wouldn't use Madoff as an example of anything since it's a complex story.

He was previously an exchange head (credible), and told people not to give him money. You could argue that his fund was an example of affiliate fraud, since a high percentage of clients were Jewish, so lots of friends and family got involved.

He may not have lost much client money, although the trustee took over $1 billion in fees. In most similar cases, 99% just evaporates.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#337

Post by Kiro »

kzrdude wrote: post #139
NortySpock wrote: post #24

I think the compassion section has the most wisdom in it, especially the reasoning behind the recommendation: 82. Call your parents when you think of them, tell your friends when you love them. 83. Compliment people more. Many people have trouble thinking of themselves as smart, or pretty, or kind, unless told by someone else. You can help them out. 84. If somebody is undergoing group criticism, the tribal part in yo…

Thanks. The list started out so materialistic I quickly lost interest.

I lost interest when it stopped being materialistic.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#338

Post by mudita »

Trasmatta wrote: post #198
Jtsummers wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's fair. But I know a number of men (to go with the example) who think it's unmasculine to dance (or to dance in certain styles and settings). However, as a single guy taking up ballroom and tango dancing was a great idea for meeting women (along with, at that time in my life, getting in better shape and starting to dress better). The notion that "real men don't dance" (like real men don't eat quiche) is harmful…

Yeah, I definitely agree with this. My pet peeve is just when people assume you're not doing something because of the label, not because you actually just don't enjoy the thing.

Yeees, but the problem Jtsummers mentions is that often the label gets “internalized as a quality of themselves”, so especially men sometimes thing that it’s their own preference, when they just never had the right space to discover the joy of dance. I think that dance is actually a very universal human thing and that there’s a strange alienation from dance and our bodies going on in western culture, especially for men. This cultural alienation is so deeply embedded in our identity that it’s often a blind spot, where we don’t even notice what we miss.

I myself thought that I didn’t enjoy dancing, would never be able to enjoy it and that I had zero interest in learning dancing until I eventually discovered that I do actually want to learn to dance, which started a journey which ended up with me becoming a professional dancer.

But I agree both that not everyone has to dance and that pressuring people to dance is not the right strategy for showing them the joy of dance.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#339

Post by dingaling »

amoitnga wrote: post #308

> 92. You have vanishingly little political influence and every thought you spend on politics will probably come to nothing. Consider building things instead, or at least going for a walk. I don't get it. should I not care?

> I don't get it. should I not care?

Pragmatically: no

Following national and international politics is a waste of time and emotional budget unless your work depends on it. It's basically a TV series, you can't change the outcome.

Focus on local and neighborhood issues which you can change.

Re: Tips for a Better Life

#340

Post by sudhirj »

redleggedfrog wrote: post #16

"8. When buying things, time and money trade-off against each other. If you’re low on money, take more time to find deals. If you’re low on time, stop looking for great deals and just buy things quickly online." I'm finding, as I've gotten older, that almost every time I've chosen money over time I've made a bad decision. And I see this among my family and friends, too. There's a mentality that emerges when exchangin…

I see this reacting depending on the interests, hobbies or identity of the person. The same people who decide to get a professional to paint their homes or install a heater can / will also rant about how you can save money by assembling your own server, driving an hour each way to a colo and installing it there, instead of using AWS. We all decide to do things ourselves if we're hobbyists, amateurs or have an vested identity (we think of ourselves as being handy with power tools or being the "man about the house") in the thing that needs to be done.
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