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My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

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Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#331

A lot of the comments here seem to be saying that (1) kids getting addicted to phones is no different than getting addicted to TV, books, etc, and that this is just the latest iteration of a complaint parents have had for generations and (2) this person is a bad parent. I used to agree with (1), but lately I'm inclined to think that this time, it really is different. Very different. And the primary reason is that unl…

> thousands of engineers observing realtime metrics to make small tweaks to make you use something just a little bit longer. As one of the thousands of engineers dedicated to making you use your consumer electronics a little bit more: it's really easy to defeat my work. You make a conscious decision not to use the product, you catch yourself using it, you stop. Do it for about a month and you've broken the habit. Tha…

Here is a little exercise: imagine yourself being a drug dealer, and read your own comment out loud. It rings perfectly, and it is no coincidence, proportions aside.

You cannot absolve yourself from responsibility just because your target audience 'had a choice'.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#332

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Imagine if the iPhone were heroin Yeah, but its rather obviously not heroin. "Imagine if X were Y" isn't really an argument to support "We should act as if X were Y, or at least similar". What needs to be presented is a reason to believe that X is, in fact, like Y.

How is it so obviously not heroin? I, a fully-formed and functioning adult, feel the pull in my brain. I was addicted to cigarettes in my 20s and I've had unhealthy relationships with numerous other drugs and video games that I've (mostly) managed to pull myself away from, after years. The feeling of "checking your notifications" and "scrolling through twitter" on your phone are remarkably similar to the compulsion f…

When I was a kid the compulsion to put plastic zoo animals in little enclosures, and build all 151 pokemon out of lego was remarkably similar to the compulsion for drugs. I don't think there's anything inherently bad about this.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#333
post #239

> I realize with horror that she’s spent nine hours on the phone that day. She was only awake at 11. > My daughter doesn’t make collages or jewelry or sew anymore. A child who used to read in the bath won’t pick up a book unless threatened with the loss of her phone. > Getting her to make a card for a family member — something she once did for fun — is like getting her to clean her room > Yet still, each day is a bat…

Honestly, so much of this sounded familiar to me ... but from my own teenage years. My parents were appalled at the amount of time I was spending at a MS-DOS PC (not only playing games but also learning programming). So I'd say that no, it's not that phones are like crack. There seems to be a disconnect on the parent's expectations when children discover the possibilities of a technology that's unfamiliar to them. In…

I spent thousands of hours in front of my Vic20, C64, etc. Back then the platforms really encouraged creativity. Now I feel every single platform just encourages consumerism.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#334

A lot of the comments here seem to be saying that (1) kids getting addicted to phones is no different than getting addicted to TV, books, etc, and that this is just the latest iteration of a complaint parents have had for generations and (2) this person is a bad parent. I used to agree with (1), but lately I'm inclined to think that this time, it really is different. Very different. And the primary reason is that unl…

> thousands of engineers observing realtime metrics to make small tweaks to make you use something just a little bit longer. As one of the thousands of engineers dedicated to making you use your consumer electronics a little bit more: it's really easy to defeat my work. You make a conscious decision not to use the product, you catch yourself using it, you stop. Do it for about a month and you've broken the habit. Tha…

> You make a conscious decision not to use the product

I feel like I've heard this before, re: alcoholism, obesity, etc... It's true that if you just decide to stop the behavior you don't like, you're cured. But it is so far from easy that it's a lifelong journey for many people.

Your job is not just to compete for a limited number of zombies, but to keep as many people that actually do care from climbing out of the hole. People are not binary between zombie/not zombie, they're on a spectrum, and I think it's naive to think that anyone with the slightest desire to not use your product can just close it & quit.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#335
post #115

It is my store too as a parent of a single child losing creativity to instant pleasures and doom scrolling on an iPhone. To add salt to injury, the dance team at school she is part of encourages them to post on Facebook and Instagram. They have study groups on Facebook, Discord, Slack and even Instagram. When I demand they use simple old style text messaging, she has friends with fancy phones but no SIM card and depe…

Apologies for a response riddled with typos.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#336

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Imagine if the iPhone were heroin Yeah, but its rather obviously not heroin. "Imagine if X were Y" isn't really an argument to support "We should act as if X were Y, or at least similar". What needs to be presented is a reason to believe that X is, in fact, like Y.

How is it so obviously not heroin? I, a fully-formed and functioning adult, feel the pull in my brain. I was addicted to cigarettes in my 20s and I've had unhealthy relationships with numerous other drugs and video games that I've (mostly) managed to pull myself away from, after years. The feeling of "checking your notifications" and "scrolling through twitter" on your phone are remarkably similar to the compulsion f…

> How is it so obviously not heroin

Its quite obviously literally not-heroin.

If you want to make an argument that it should be treated like heroin because it is in some relevant sense more like heroin or other things that it is broadly accepted should be treated like heroin than it is like other things that it is broadly accepted should not be treated like heroin then...some evidence besides simply stating your belief for the relevant similarity would be a good thing to present.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#337
post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree, unless you're typing raw hex codes into the instruction pipeline, you're not really programming. And truthfully, I'd prefer manipulating gates by hand. Otherwise, how do you know you're really talking to the machine.

I hate high-level amateurs like you, diluting this serious and noble craft with your hex codes. If you're not etching the silicon yourself, it's ephemeral fluff. Get serious.

[flagged]

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#338
post #319

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's such a shame to me that the article ends with a note about how the parent will try to convince themselves that creating tiktok videos is creative. What?!? Creating videos isn't creative?? Of course it is! You should be encouraging and reveling in this sort of behavior! My seven year old runs around with my old iPhone 5. We've locked it down to essentially be nothing more than a camera, but she'll still make vi…

Hi - how did you lock down your kids iPhone? Am more of an android man but will be getting a refurbed iPhone 7 for my daughter (apparently they are "better" than Samsung)

Not OP, but I do this too. You can configure Screen Time on an iPhone. There you can limit the total time the device can be used each day. It's also possible to limit usage to certain apps, or block access to certain categories of apps, and allowing only certain people (e.g. family members) to be contacted or messaged.

If your child has their own Apple ID, Screen Time works across any other Apple devices linked to that Apple ID.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#339
For parents who want to stay in touch with their kids but don't want to give them a phone, cellular Apple Watches are an excellent option. They can make and receive calls anywhere with a cellular network.

They are cheaper than phones and the plans are well priced too. Around $15/mo for service.

https://www.apple.com/newsroom/2020/09/apple-extends-the-app...

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#340

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> School is exhausting. Between rising unnaturally early (which leaves kids tired), rushing and bustling kids on their daily commute, most of the daylight hours blocked for school then homework when you get home I will point out though that, if one is inclined to argue that school should prepare children for adult life, it sounds like this system is a pretty good mimic of the working life any given child is likely to…

Is it, though? How many jobs will there be 10-20 years down the road where the main requirement is to be able to sit still for 8 hrs, ask before you go pee, and do as you're told? How many of these jobs will be automated instead? Or, differently, is that the kind of job you would want your kids to have?

All the bad jobs will be like this with ai monitors
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